Upside Down
by southerngirl89
Summary: Everyone's feeling a little nostalgic. Alex bought Meredith's house. The new name of the hospital is The Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. Oh, and Izzie's coming back... What else could happen? Set after 'Transplant Wasteland' - Episode 9x17.
1. Little Reminders

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing a chapter fanfic. I'm still carrying the major league torch for Alex/Izzie (they're one of my most loved TV couples). If only Shonda and Katherine could work it out... But anyway, I've always heard that if you don't like something, change it. So here it is - my version of how I wish season 9 would play out. This is set after 'Transplant Wasteland' - Episode 9.17 (with the exception that Jo has no Chest Peckwell in her life at this point). Inspired by the wonderful lyrical musings of Jack Johnson's 'Upside Down.' Feedback would be amazing. If you read this, thank you!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything concerned with/relating to Grey's Anatomy.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Little Reminders**

_Denny died. Izzie lapsed into a numbing, soul-crushing disbelief. In a pink prom dress. On the bathroom floor, no less. Lying down beside her on that same bathroom floor, George, Meredith, and even Cristina all attempted to remove her from that numbness. Or to at least remove her from that dress - the dress that she wore while she broke down in her dead fianc__é's arms. But it was Alex who was the one who had removed her from the arms of her dead fianc__é and cradled her in his own arms until the crying stopped and the numbness really took her over. Alex was the one who had brushed her hair out of her face and noticed all traces of that sparkle in her eyes, all traces of what made Izzie **Izzie**, were lost behind that numbing disbelief. Everyone else knew Denny's death would be terribly hard for Izzie to bear, and they all felt it would be best to be easy with handling her until she regained some of her former self. But not Alex Karev, no. The moment he had seen that dullness in her eyes, he vowed to himself that he would be the one to coax back that sparkle. He knew Izzie Stevens was stronger and more capable than just being a shadow of her former self. So when someone - Cristina, maybe... he couldn't remember - finally convinced her to stand up and take off the dress, Alex waited. Watching. Waiting for Izzie to need him._

_Izzie baked excessively. All of the roommates gained a little weight thanks to her quirky coping mechanism, and they saw Izzie coming back to herself. And she was, little by little, but Alex still saw that she had moments of that numbing clarity. She still had occasional break-downs that no one but Alex saw. Usually these moments happened in the shower; she turned the hot water knob full blast - hoping that the scalding liquid hitting her skin would ease the ache in her soul. He worried about her more in those times than at any other, but then one night, she had made a breakthrough and he knew she would be fine._

_That night, Alex had been lying in his bed in the dark. His door partially open, he heard Meredith come in and sit at the bar, engaging Izzie in conversation while Izzie made her third batch of cupcakes for the night. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but Izzie suddenly exclaimed, "Seriously?!" loudly and he heard Meredith's short and punctuated "Seriously" follow after Izzie's. Everything seemed to be fine, and before long, he heard Meredith go to bed. Wanting to keep her company, Alex headed toward the kitchen and froze in the doorway when he saw Izzie. She leaned back against the sink, her shoulders heaving with silent sobs. Izzie - the great pretender. Only she didn't hold herself together with tape and glue - cake mixes and cupcake recipes held her together at the seams. She presented the fa__çade of getting better to her friends, and she fell apart when they were not around. A wooden spoon covered in some sort of chocolate goo was held up in one hand, and she cradled the bowl of chocolate goo (maybe cake mix) against her stomach. Endless assortments of cupcakes were stacked on nearly every surface in the kitchen, and Alex would have teased her under different circumstances. But he noticed she was wearing his baggy Iowa sweatshirt, and chocolate goo was smeared on her chin while a steady stream of tears streamed down her face. And he had had enough._

_"Denny's dead, Iz. Dead. Cold. A freakin' corpse, okay? All the cupcakes in the world won't bring him back." While saying this, he had marched over to her and snatched the spoon and bowl from her clutches, putting both in the sink. She had thrown her arms around herself, and he grabbed her shoulders firmly and stared into her eyes even though she wouldn't meet his. "You're hurt, yeah. You lost the love of your life... or whatever. I get it. But you're not broken. Denny's dead. You're not. You hear me, Iz? You're. Not. Dead. Quit acting like a damn ghost." At this, she tore herself away from his grip and ran out of the kitchen, and he went in pursuit of her. She stopped right before his bedroom door - seemingly collapsing in upon herself. Alex watched her slump down against the wall and bring her knees tightly up to her chest, all while she sobbed forcefully into the baggy sleeves of her (well, technically, his) sweatshirt. With his jaw clenched, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and looked down at his bare feet._

_"Iz... Look, I'm sorry, okay?" He mumbled, more to his feet than to her, and then cast his eyes in her direction. He knew this apology wouldn't suffice. Because he knew her. With her in such a vulnerable place, he would have to piss her off to make her open up. In these types of emotional states, she wanted to internalize everything instead of putting it out in the open. He knew that - he knew her. And he knew that she knew that... he was her polar opposite, after all. For him, a problem could be eradicated with booze or sex or even both, and that was all he needed to make peace with himself. But she wasn't like that. He took a few tentative steps toward her, then growled through clinched teeth. "Quit crying, damn it. You -," he was cut off by a blur of blonde as she lunged up from the floor, letting out an exasperated cry that was more of a growl._

_"Shut up! Just shut up, Alex! Fuck you! God, what is it with you?! You ruin everything!" She began pushing against his chest forcefully, signaling that she wanted him to go away. "Everything, Alex! You're a ruiner!" Izzie screamed, continuing with the barrage of fists against his chest. 'There she is. She's gonna be okay,' he thought, and he just leaned back onto his heels, absorbing the blows that didn't really hurt, waiting for her to signal to him that it was okay to touch her. He kept his hands in his pockets. Waiting. Watching the signs on her face. She was no longer crying - but her face was still red and splotchy, her eyes still swollen and puffy - with the look of someone who has been "really boo-hooing." Just as he could hear her describing it. Her assault on his chest became more and more half-hearted, and he felt tears splash onto his arm, finally signaling that she was crying again and it was safe for him to hold her. He removed his hands from his pockets and pulled her against him. She let out a small sob and pressed her face into his neck. He felt her relax, and certain that he felt the smear of cake mix that had been on her chin transfer to his collarbone, he pressed his lips to the top of her head. He stood there, holding her against him in the hallway, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair, and let her go through the emotions of losing the man she had loved. And that precise moment is when he realized that she is who he loved, and he would always love her._

* * *

Alex snapped back to reality when he felt a hard nudge to his shoulder.

"Karev? Are you gonna buy that dress or are you gonna listen to me?" Jo Wilson asked, her eyebrows raised. Both having to work the same shift later, they had been on their way to eat dinner at a little dive that Alex, when he didn't feel like seeing the regular crowd at Joe's, liked to frequent before heading to the hospital.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm listening," Alex shrugged, pointing up the sidewalk, motioning for her to keep walking. She shot him a furtive glance, and then they continued toward the restaurant.

"Wow. Never knew prom dresses were your thing," Jo gave him another questioning glance and then launched back into talking about some new cutting-edge surgery performed in Germany that she had been reading about. Just seconds ago, Alex, genuinely interested, had been listening until something in a window display caught his eye.

The eye-catching culprit was a frilly, pink prom dress similar enough to the one Izzie had worn that fateful night of Denny's death that it had stopped Alex in his tracks. The memory of that night, and the night that he had snapped her out of a breakdown in Meredith's kitchen, came flooding back to him with shocking clarity. He had only paused, lost in thought, for three or four seconds, but now he felt muddled. Distracted. Definitely no longer listening to Jo - even though he heard her naming details of the German surgical case like he was still raptly listening.

But he was lost in his own thoughts. The pink prom dress had jarred him. Little reminders of Izzie had been everywhere for the past few weeks. Everyone knew Alex didn't give a whole lot of thought to the relationship statuses of others - much less how they related to him. However, ever since he had purchased Meredith's house, he realized everyone had someone except him. Meredith and Derek. Robbins and Torres. Yang and Hunt. Bailey had gotten remarried. Even Jackson had a piece of hot intern action. And even though he and Jo had nothing more than a friendly exchange, he had thought about taking it to the next level with her because he felt loneliness just like everyone else. But that would be selfish. He didn't feel that way about Jo.

He felt a suspicion that maybe Jo harbored more than friendly feelings toward him, but then, he couldn't be sure about that, either. The purchase of Meredith's house and her big damn mouth is what had thrown him in this uncertainty about everything. When convincing him to buy it, Meredith was the one who had said something about the house holding lots of memories, something about the failed rager Izzie threw when they had all just moved in. And, though of course, he had thought of his ex-wife over the years, - sometimes bitterly, most times longingly - she had overwhelmed his thoughts recently. Distracting him. 'Making me think _this _crazy shit,' Alex thought, and he allowed himself to smile a little.

"Okay, I'm just gonna shut up. You're weird and spacey now. You see a ghost or something back there?" Jo huffed at him, slapping his arm lightly.

He had answered her with grunts and nods as they walked, but he knew that she knew he had stopped paying true attention. They had reached the restaurant, and he winked at her while opening the door for her. "You'll live, whine bag. And something like that."

_"You hear me, Iz? You're. Not. Dead. Quit acting like a damn ghost."_

If she only knew.


	2. Awake

**Chapter 2: Awake**

The ragged screeching of an alarm clock ripped Alex away from a nap in the on-call room. The clock read 4:15 a.m. Groaning, he sat up, allowing his senses to fully wake up. The residents usually rotated in 36-hour shifts, and he only had about 3 hours left to go in this shift before he could go home and get some decent rest. He stood up and stretched, straightened his scrubs, and made his way into the hallway. The floor was quiet, as it usually is in the early morning hours before rounds. Before all the idiot interns came bustling in all eager and annoying.

He went to the nurses' station and picked up a folder that contained his newest case. A little boy kept coming in to the E.R. with stomach pains, and they discovered he had a hiatal hernia. They had to admit him for a course of antibiotics before surgery. Alex would be operating tomorrow morning. 'Wonder which idiot will be scrubbing in on this,' Alex thought absently, signing off that he had seen the latest stats. Behind him, he heard the sound of fast moving shoes coming toward him. 'Cristina,' he thought, placing the folder back in its place, and turned around. He had known her so long, now lived with her, that he knew the sound of her walk coming up the hall without even thinking about it.

"Morning Peds boy," Cristina reached beside him, grabbing a folder.

"What you got?" Alex asked, craning to look in the folder she opened.

"9 year old girl came in with a murmur. She needs a new atrial valve, and I, my lowly kiddie candy striper, am gonna perform a real surgery," she slammed the folder shut and held it over to him, signaling that she wanted him to put it up. "You should try it."

"Go to hell, Yang," he put the folder in its proper place, and then checked his pager. "Who's on your service?"

"Ross," she said, inspecting her fingernails. "He wants to be Shepherd's bitch, though. Suits me." Her pager went off, and she sprang into action down the hallway. "Oh, cereal! No more in the cabinet!" She called over her shoulder at him as she disappeared around the corner.

"You buy something for once!" He yelled. A nurse coming out of a patient room shot him a dirty look that clearly said he needed to keep his voice down. He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender and headed to the bathroom to splash some water on his face – he was still feeling a little groggy from his nap.

He thought it would have been weird, him and Cristina living together, but it wasn't that way at all. She spent most of her time in the hospital trolling for cases anyway. She and Owen stayed tangled up in her bed most of the time when he came over. Occasionally, she would plop down beside him on the couch and share a cereal box or a beer with him. Having the company was nice, but as usual, she expected him to buy all the necessities (necessities meaning Lucky Charms and beer).

Walking into the resident lounge, he noticed Meredith sitting on the couch, her feet propped up, a hand on her belly.

"Alex! Come here! Feel," she motioned, pointing to her stomach.

"Ah, nah. That's-" he shook his head, but she cut him off.

"Come here! McFetus is having a 30-second dance party."

"Okay, okay," he stepped toward her and she grabbed his wrist, placing his hand on her stomach.

He felt a slight flutter, and they looked at each other and grinned. "Probably just combing its weird and already glossy head of Shepherd hair," Alex said, taking a step back, shoving his hands into his coat pockets.

Meredith laughed and talked down to her belly. "Are you coming out sporting a daddy 'do?"

Alex stepped into the bathroom and splashed water onto his face, looking at himself in the mirror. Meredith had changed. Become a little more positive. Just a little. Cristina had mellowed out somewhat. Wiping the water from his face, he wondered if he had changed any.

"Hey, Alex," Meredith called from her spot on the sofa.

"Yeah?" He came out, towel in his hands, drying them off.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" She asked, not looking at him.

Puzzled, his eyebrows furrowed. 'What the hell?' he thought. "Uh... no. Not that I know of?" he said questioningly. Had he done anything worthy of gossip? Not really. But he noticed Meredith still wasn't looking at him. "What do you know that I don't, Mer?"

She glanced up at him, and then became quickly interested in a magazine. "It's... oh... well, I'm not sure it's anything..." she stammered, glancing up at him again.

Frustrated, he gestured for her to spit it out.

"Well, I'm not totally sure how hiring works now, you know, with the whole owning the hospital thing..." she trailed off, seeing Alex wanted her to get to the point. "But I heard Jackson on the phone with Mommie Dearest about finding a new Vagina Squad attending." She didn't say any more.

Alex looked at her in utter annoyance. "Yeah, so? What's that got to do with me?"

"Jackson told her no attendings had applied yet. The whole 'Pegasus is happening, Pegasus isn't happening' thing has thrown people. But a couple of residents have." She stopped again, this time looking him dead in the eye, but she hesitated - thinking. This drove Alex to distraction when people wouldn't give him a straight answer. And Meredith was the worst at doing it. Things had to be dragged out of her. Beginning to storm out of the resident's lounge, he heard her voice behind him.

"One of the residents applying here is named Dr. Isobel Stevens, Alex."

He paused in the doorway, afraid to turn around and look at Meredith. Afraid to see what kind of look she was giving him. The words she had just spoken clanged in his head.

He was certainly fully awake now.

* * *

A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying it so far! Are things moving quickly enough? Let me know what you think!


	3. Sympathy for the Devil

**Chapter 3: Sympathy for the Devil  
**

_"One of the residents applying here is named Dr. Isobel Stevens, Alex."_

After Meredith had dropped that hellish piece of knowledge on his head, it had started repeating in a relentless reel in his mind. He had stormed out of the resident's lounge, leaving Meredith calling after him, but he ignored her and immediately ducked into the stairwell. He pressed his palms against the wall and braced himself against it - his head swimming. "Son of a bitch," he muttered, taking in a deep breath.

"Dr. Karev? Are you okay, sir?" Shane Ross asked as he came running down the stairs to enter the door that Alex was currently blocking.

"Fuck off, Ross."

"Yes, sir," Ross mumbled, quickly turning to run back up the stairs.

He had answered him with a "sir" after he told him to fuck off. This made Alex laugh uncontrollably. Sitting down on the bottom stair, he composed himself once again and then shook his head. "I'm losing my damn mind," he said aloud. So Izzie was applying for a job here, so what? She might not even get the job. Over the years, Alex had wondered what Izzie might be doing - if she even still wanted to practice medicine. 'Got that answer,' he thought. And Meredith had said they were looking for an Obstetrics attending, so that must be Izzie's specialty. Now his mind raced a mile a minute as more and more questions kept thrumming in his brain. He wondered the status of her cancer. 'She must be doing well if she's practicing medicine,' he thought. Had she been cured? Where had she been for all these years? Where had she started her residency? A million more questions started to circulate.

"Ah, shit," he murmured, standing up. His pager was beeping.

* * *

Alex had finished his shift at 7 a.m. and, barring that he wasn't paged 911, then he wouldn't have to work until the following morning when he rotated back to day shift. He headed straight home to take a shower and sleep for several hours. The shower made him feel like a new man; however, sleep evaded him. The idea that Izzie Stevens might soon be back in Seattle caused him to imagine countless scenarios. Everyone says that if you don't see a person for a long time, you forget what they look like. Alex had decided that wasn't true. Even after several years, all of Izzie's features were still just as easy to recall as if she were standing right in front him. And to say that they had left one another with no closure was an understatement. He could remember them both on the bench of the intern locker room, sitting opposite of one another but facing one another, and he had told her to leave him. He had told her "to go and be happy, and not come back." Even after she said they'd make it work even though he'd slept with Lexie after she'd left the first time. And he had regretted it long after he told her to leave him. They were both under extreme duress because of Izzie's cancer and then her firing, and they had both made mistakes. Alex would be the first to admit that if she would give him a chance - ('if she even comes to Seattle,' he kept reminding himself).

Finally giving up his attempt at sleep, he decided it was time for a beer. It was only 10 in the morning, sure, but who cared. Maybe the alcohol would relax him enough that he could go to sleep. Once he reached the refrigerator, he smacked his forehead in realization. "Damn it," he mumbled. He had forgotten to buy beer and cereal. But inspiration hit him. He knew that Yang kept random tequila bottles stashed throughout the house, so since she didn't have a problem eating and drinking things he bought, he wouldn't have a problem raiding her stash. He walked around the house, checking the most obvious spots first - the cabinets, the freezer - when he noticed the neck of a bottle sticking out of a cereal box. He smirked, not being surprised in the slightest. There wasn't very much left in it, probably enough for three swigs, and he didn't mind quelling his restless thoughts of Izzie so he could sleep.

* * *

But the alcohol hadn't put him to sleep - it had made him angry. He had sat down on the couch in the quiet living room. As it turns out, there were five, not three, wince-inducing swallows left in the bottle. And his thoughts of Izzie hadn't subsided - they had amplified. He had begun to torture himself with why _she _hadn't thought to check up on _him_. There had been a shooting and a plane crash in the time after she left, after all. In this day and time of instant and constant news, he was certain she had to hear about both. Had she even wondered or worried that maybe he, her _ex-husband_, had been involved? 'Bitch,' he thought, and harshly pulled his t-shirt over his head.

Needless to say, when Jo came cheerfully through his front door to see why he hadn't been responding to her texts, she had no idea that she would be leaving completely stripped of that cheer.

"Karev! Don't reply to messages anymore?" She plopped down beside him on the couch. He didn't reply. Looking at him quizzically, she nudged him with her shoulder. "Don't talk anymore either? What's wrong?"

'She didn't give a fuck that I got _shot_, that's what," he thought. His drunken mind was spiraling. He needed a distraction.

"Alex? Really, what's wr-"

"Shut up," he growled, roughly grabbing her at the base of her neck and crushing his lips against hers. He felt her tense up, and then he felt a hand strike him hard against the face. She had slapped him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Jo yelled, shoving him away from her hard. She jumped up from the couch and was looking at him with a mix of disdain and confusion.

"What's it look like? Hasn't a guy ever gotten into your pants before?" Alex spat, now even more angry that he had been rejected. He dismissed her by grabbing the stereo remote and turning it on. The Rolling Stones blared through the speakers: _"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name. But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game."_

He didn't even wince when she slammed his door on the way out.

* * *

A/N: I know... shame on me! Alex already gets a bad rap, and here I am fueling the fire! But we all know Alex can have his douche intervals, and we love him regardless, right? Feedback would be great. I'm just doing what I feel, so I hope you'll keep reading my rambles! Thanks again for reading!


	4. Gossip Train

**Chapter 4: Gossip Train  
**

The early morning surgery on the little boy with the hernia had gone extremely well despite the fact that Alex's eyes felt like a wad of cotton had somehow been lodged behind them. He hadn't woken up with a hangover, but he had slept too many hours and hadn't eaten much. He also felt terrible for treating Jo disrespectfully. Ever since she had started her internship, he truly valued their friendship, and he hoped he hadn't totally destroyed that. But from the way that Leah Murphy, the intern that scrubbed in on his surgery, kept shooting him dirty looks over her mask, he knew things would be difficult. He couldn't care less about Leah even though he had slept with her once – he didn't even like her – but Jo, despite her sometimes being naïve and overly sensitive, didn't deserve for him to take his anger out on her. 'All chicks are kinda crazy,' he reminded himself.

In between checking on patients and signing off on charts, he kept watch for Jackson. Since his mother had bailed the hospital out of being liquidated, she had appointed him the boss, and he should know something about hiring policies. The simplest way to get an answer is to ask a question, and Alex had questions about Izzie – specifically if she qualified to work at the newly minted Grey + Sloan Memorial Hospital. Then he wanted a timeline of when she may or may not be interviewed. No more torturous thoughts for him. Definitely no more tequila.

* * *

Alex was eating lunch in the cafeteria when Callie slammed her tray down next to him. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she glared at him.

"What the hell, Torres?" He had jumped, not expecting the noise, and he definitely hadn't been expecting Callie to be looking so angrily at him.

She just sighed and sat down beside him. "Stop sleeping with your co-workers, Karev. I thought we had been through this."

"Yeah, yeah. And now you sleep with men, whatever." He took a bite of his sandwich. "And I didn't sleep-"

He was interrupted by a smack to the back of his head from someone standing behind him. Arizona had done it on her way to sit opposite of him, beside Callie.

"Well, whatever you did to Wilson, fix it. She is weepy and distracted. I had to give up my free time to console her." Arizona said, glaring at him as Callie had done.

"What that means is that we didn't get to have a quickie in the on-call room, and that's your fault. Way to go, you ass," Callie looked knowingly at Arizona, and Arizona slow-clapped, both of them smirking at Alex.

"Whatever," he said, his mouth full of food.

Arizona's pager started beeping. "Crap. Now I can't finish my lunch." Scowling, she pecked Callie's lips and gathered up her tray, pointing to Alex. "I need to talk to you about a big case we have coming in from Mexico. We need to prepare. Joe's after work?"

"Sure. Joe's," Alex called out to her as she hurried away.

"Ugh, Karev!" Callie groaned. "You are getting in the way of my sex life. As if it isn't already hard enough," she sighed. "Guess I'll come to Joe's tonight, too. Drinks on you, right?" She winked at him while getting up to leave, too.

"You own the hospital now. You buy the drinks," he smiled exaggeratedly. Callie rolled her eyes and left, leaving Alex to finish his lunch in peace.

* * *

After work, Alex sat at a table in the Emerald City Bar, just as Arizona had asked of him. He had already gotten a beer from Joe, so he just sipped it, waiting for Robbins. He hadn't heard anything yet about a case coming in from Mexico, so he was all too happy to wait for her. Lately, there were really no exciting cases to work on. Of course, he was always glad when a sick kid had a chance at a healthier life because of him, but he needed something to rejuvenate him. He hoped this case would be challenging enough to do that.

Having already been in the bar for about 20 minutes, he finished his beer and stood at the corner of the bar to get another one. Stephanie Edwards, another intern – and the one who was sleeping with Jackson – was sitting two seats from him. He made his way over to her to ask if Jackson was coming to the bar.

"You meeting Avery here?"

She just looked at him with disgust, and then she stood up and walked in the direction of the dart board. Obviously Jo had talked to her, too.

"I am your boss, you know," he called out to Edwards's back.

Someone clamped their hand on his shoulder in a friendly manner, saying, "You know, you really should stop pissing off all the lady interns, dude." Jackson grinned at him, then called out to Joe that he wanted whatever Karev was drinking.

"Yeah, yeah. Then I couldn't claim any talents," Alex said, shrugging.

"And the man still has a sense of humor after getting burned by an intern, nice," Jackson touched his beer bottle to Alex's.

"What? What's she saying happened?" Alex asked defensively. "And don't give me crap about interns. You're the only guy actively screwing one."

"Jealous?" Avery took a drink of his beer, and then started to head in Stephanie's direction.

"Avery, wait. I wanna ask you something," Alex said, beginning to feel a little nervous for some reason. He wasn't sure he really wanted to know Izzie's application status. He knew that answering one question would only lead to asking more, and he didn't really want to involve Avery in his business. Meredith knew about Izzie's application, so that meant Derek and Cristina did, and who knows who else she had told. Alex hadn't even seen Meredith since she had told him about Izzie coming back, so that had probably made her gossip train roll even faster down the track.

"You need tips on how to get back in the sack with interns now, bro?" Jackson grinned yet again.

"Fuck you. Let's go sit down. I'm supposed to meet Arizona, but she hasn't shown yet," Alex said, gesturing to the table that he had been sitting at before.

"Is this about Izzie, man?" Jackson asked as he sat down.

Alex, who was taking a sip of beer, momentarily froze. Then he sat down the bottle and looked at his hands. His mouth felt dry even though he had just taken a drink. He cleared his throat, then spoke, "Yeah. It's about Izzie." He glanced at Jackson – sure that he would be looking at him with a look of amusement, or worse, pity. But to Jackson's credit, he had no sign of either on his face. "When did she apply?"

"Uh, well, let's see," Jackson said, rubbing his chin, "About two weeks ago, I guess. Résumés are sent to Human Resources, and that department pools the most qualified applicants for me to approve."

"So is she one of the most qualified-"

Alex didn't finish his question because, over Jackson's shoulder, Izzie Stevens had just walked into the Emerald City Bar.


	5. Horror Show

**Chapter 5: Horror Show  
**

"Karev? Hey, are you having a stroke or something?"

Alex, vaguely aware that Jackson was asking him something, wasn't having a stroke - he wasn't quite sure what he was feeling. A mixture of excitement and anxiety, perhaps. The mental equivalent of one's jaw hanging open, maybe. He even clenched his teeth to make sure his mouth _wasn't_ hanging open.

Izzie stood slightly to the side of the doorway, her eyes scanning the bar. The way she looked at everything was as if she were a person in a foreign country, experiencing a culture shock for the first time, a little bewildered but also enjoying drinking in the sights and sounds. Her hair had been dark and short when he had seen her last; now it was long and blonde again. 'Her 'long, hot hair,' as O'Malley used to say,' Alex remembered. Dressed in black slacks and a form-fitting pink shirt with only one shoulder, Alex appreciated that she was still stacked. And looking healthy, unlike she had been before when her body was ravaged by cancer. He felt a stirring in his groin as he remembered her body and the way it had felt against his. 'Knock it off,' Alex thought to himself.

Meanwhile, Avery had turned around to see what the hell Alex was so enamored with, and he spotted Izzie, too. Alex heard him say, "And to answer your question, yeah, she's qualified. You see she's here for her interview, obviously. It's not until tomorrow, though." Jackson finished, sounding a little puzzled, as if he wondered why she was here early.

Both Alex and Jackson heard someone call her name.

"Dr. Isobel Stevens! Is it really you? Come here and have a drink on the house!" Joe the bartender looked genuinely happy to see her. Alex remembered that Joe used to be pretty lenient with her open drink tabs because she used to bring him so many baked goods.

"Hey, Joe! Don't pretend to be happy to see me! You just want - what was it - blueberry muffins, right?" Izzie did that thing she always used to do where she spoke with laughter in her voice, and Alex smiled in spite of himself. He watched her walk to the bar, again noticing and appreciating her body. This time in motion. Her slacks clung to her ass quite well, too.

"Are you going to go talk to her, or make me talk to her, or are you going to keep on eye-fucking her?" Jackson asked, clearly amused this time.

"Avery, kiss my ass."

Alex felt torn about talking to her, actually. They had so much history, she was his ex-wife for Christ's sake, and yet many years had passed between them without having any contact with one another. Who was she now? Was she remarried? 'No kids, if so," Alex thought, thinking of the time he had jizzed into a cup for her. She would have had to get his permission to use his splooge after divorcing him. Alex shook his head, (thinking, 'crazy damn thoughts again,') guzzled the rest of his beer, and prepared to make his way to the bar to order another. And to speak to her.

* * *

While talking to Joe, Izzie had sat down on a bar stool, her long legs crossed. A bottle of beer sat in front of her, and she picked at the label when she wasn't gesturing with her hands as she talked. Alex remembered how she talked with her hands, too. They had once made a bet to see how long she could go without talking with her hands. Alex won, of course. She had already caved in by the one hour mark. And he remembered that bet so well because the outcome had been deliciously wild sex in the third floor stairwell of the hospital. He had told her that part of the thrill was not knowing if someone was going to catch them - that they had to make it quick and dirty. And, in between sounds of pleasure, she had panted _'quick and dirty, quick and dirty, quick and dirty,'_ over and over again in his ear. Sometimes, late at night, he could almost feel the warmth of her breath and the urgency of her whispers just as he had in that stairwell.

He was now standing close enough to touch her, and he cleared his throat in an attempt to shake that image of her from his mind. He wasn't quite sure what he was going to say to her, but he didn't have to worry. The sound of him clearing his throat had made her turn her head to look directly at him.

Her light brown eyes looked directly into his darker ones. Alex had always loved her eyes because they changed color depending on the light intensity or even her mood. At that moment, they were a dark almond color but still bright and expressive. She gave him a small smile that reached her eyes, and he offered one back.

"Well. Alex," she said softly, standing up. Alex shifted so he directly faced her, but they both looked like awkward penguins with their arms held out at odd angles by their sides while trying to figure out whether or not to hug. "Hey, ex-husband!" Izzie exclaimed brightly, leaning toward him to hug him and kiss his cheek.

He laughed nervously. "Ex-wife, hey!" At the same time she leaned in for a hug, he leaned forward and clapped her on the shoulder, shaking her shoulder slightly. The same gesture that someone's grandfather might do to a grandchild... And Izzie had fared no better - she had kept her arms stiff, straight out like a zombie, during her hug attempt - and when Alex had clapped his hand on her shoulder, she stiffly patted his back with the fingertips of one hand, teetering on her high heels instead of going through with kissing his cheek.

Now Izzie laughed nervously, steadying herself. Cutting her eyes to the ceiling, she said, "Awkward," in a sing-song voice.

Looking down at his feet, Alex shared in with her nervous laughter, slightly bouncing on his heels, and then turned up the beer Joe had just given him, gulping it. At the same time, miraculously, his pager started to go off.

He snatched it off his pants. "This is a- I gotta go." He sat his beer bottle down on the bar and peeled a few dollar bills from a roll he dug out of his pocket, looking up at Izzie.

"It was-"

"I'm glad-"

They kept interrupting each other until finally they both said, "Bye" at the same time.

And cue the nervous, awkward laughter again - they were both feeling mortified but were trying to be gracious.

Alex gave a half wave to her and headed for the door.

"Ouch, that was a horror show," Jackson whispered loudly as Alex hurried by.

Alex couldn't even tell him off because sometimes Jackson got it exactly right, and this was one of those times.

* * *

A/N: What do you guys think so far? Reviews give me the warm and fuzzies, you know... And, as always, thank you for reading!


	6. Shock to the System

**Chapter 6: Shock to the System**

_"The hell?"_

That had been Alex's mantra as he hurried back across the street to the hospital after the failed hug attempt with Izzie. He felt like he had been smacked in the head with a sledgehammer - didn't even know what that was that had just happened. He knew he didn't have any real romantic finesse, he wasn't the type of guy to sweep a woman off her feet with just a smoldering look or a passionate hug, but that had just been terrible. How he had ever pulled off that first kiss with Izzie in the bar was now lost on him. He shook his head quickly, trying to forget the image of them making a fool of themselves. And he made a mental note to punch Jackson in the face the next time he made a little snarky comment regardless of how true it was.

He reached the interior of the E.R., slightly out of breath, and found Dr. Bailey since she was the one who had paged him. "You paged?"

"Uh, Karev... You just got off work and were at Joe's. You better not be drunk in this E.R," she said, eying him suspiciously while standing on her tiptoes, seeing if she smelled alcohol.

Alex shook his head and scrunched up his face with impatience. "Yeah, yeah. I'm not drunk."

Still eying him suspiciously, she did a double-take and then seemed satisfied. "O-_kay_. I need you on this one. Don't make any mistakes, Karev." She turned away from him, motioning for him to follow her. "Trauma Room 2. A father brought in his 3-year-old daughter after backing over her with the family SUV," she said, holding the door to the trauma room open for him. The little girl was crying and screaming loudly while her father pushed back her hair, trying to console her. Bailey let the door swing shut after Alex had stepped in.

About that time, Jo barreled into the room, pulling on surgical gloves. Apparently she was the intern Bailey told to come and help him. Her face fell when she saw him. 'Great,' thought Alex when he saw her come in, but he pushed everything out of his mind except the situation unfolding in front of him.

He pulled on his surgical gloves and slung a stethoscope around his neck and stepped forward to address the father. "Hello Mr.?"

"Ferguson," the nurse said. She then began updating Jo on the case.

"Mr. Ferguson, I'm Dr. Karev. I know you're scared for your little girl, but I need you to go to the waiting room, sir," Alex said calmly as the screaming and crying continued. He stepped up to the little girl on the table and looked down at her. "I'm your doctor, okay princess? Can you tell me your name?"

"B-Be-Bethany," the little girl cried, looking wide-eyed with fear up at Alex. Then she screamed again and wailed louder.

"Mr. Ferguson? We need you to go to the waiting room, please," Jo said.

"You're gonna be okay, Bethany," Alex said calmly to the little girl, nodding at the nurse. The cries and screams were off-putting, rattling in Alex's ears and head. But he had learned to almost tune these things out. Jo and the nurse had just strapped Bethany down because she wouldn't hold still to have her IV line put in. Bethany started trying to jerk around on the table but couldn't, and this scared her even worse, so the screaming and crying amplified.

"What are you doing to her?! You're hurting her worse!" Her father screamed, trying to pull the nurse away from the table.

"GET HIM OUT OF HERE!" Alex bellowed, and a burly security guard and an intern rushed in to take Mr. Ferguson to the waiting room. Alex began assessing her, knowing he would have to check for internal injuries. Her right leg was badly scraped and the left leg was gruesome and bloody, broken in three places, maybe four.

"Wilson, page Torres! And call Radiology and tell them we need an x-ray and a CT," Alex barked at Jo. She was steely-eyed and her jaw was clinched, obviously unhappy to be working with him, but she picked up the phone and did what he said.

"Daddy! Daddy! Where is my daddy?! I want him! My wegs! My wegs!" Bethany let out a series of high pitched screams, struggling against her restraints.

"Push twenty of benzodiazepine," Alex called to the nurse. This drug would help to calm her and might subside her pain, but with her left leg in such bad shape, it would be better to get her to an O.R. quickly. "Bethany, your daddy is right outside. I know your legs hurt, but we're gonna fix them, I promise."

Callie came in at that time. "What do we have, Alex?"

"Bethany, 3. Her dad ran over her with the SUV. Obvious fractures to the lower tibia and fibula. Possible fractures to the femur. No distended abdomen or uneven breath sounds, so I think we're in the clear for internal injuries," Alex said, glancing up at the monitor to check her stats. "BP is 80 over 60. She's stable enough for an x-ray, but-"

"You're right, but she needs to get to an O.R. pronto. This leg needs to be set. Fast," Callie interrupted him. "Wilson, get me an O.R. Wanna scrub in?"

"Yes, Dr. Torres!" Jo's sour attitude quickly pepped up.

"Okay," Callie said amicably, cracking her knuckles. "Let's get the damn thing _done_," she said excitedly to Jo. Everyone knew Callie loved setting bones.

Bethany, now drugged and more calm, said, "You said a wordy dord."

Callie pooched out her lips while looking at Alex, and Alex knew she was thinking something along the lines of 'Oh, my god, she's cute!'

"I'm sorry, baby, no more dirty words. We're gonna get you fixed right up, okay?" Callie looked to Jo to see about the status of the O.R.

"Dr. Webber is finishing up in O.R. 3 now. They're prepping it for you," Jo told her while hanging up the phone on the wall.

"Great, let's go," Callie said, leaving the trauma room.

The nurse and Jo began to roll Bethany's table toward toward the door. Jo wouldn't even look at Alex. He lightly grabbed her arm as she went by, speaking softly in her ear. "I'm an ass, I know. Come to the house later, please. I need to apologize."

She pulled her arm away from him and cut her eyes over at him sharply, but her face had softened a bit. Maybe he would be in the clear.

They exited the trauma room and headed for the elevator, and Alex followed, stopping to lean against the wall to exhale and clear his head. His head wanted to ache slightly, but it was only from poor little Bethany's screams echoing in the trauma room and would probably stop once he went somewhere quiet. He looked up to see Arizona coming toward him, a thick case file in her hand.

"Karev, hey, sorry I never got to the bar. Emergency surgery," she said in a rush, holding the case file out to him, "this is what I wanted to talk to you about. A Mexican woman, 26, 7 months pregnant with twin boys. They have spina bifida and a plethora of other problems. We'll be working with Dr. Shepherd on this, too, when they fly in. Read it, think it, breathe it." She patted his chest and rushed off toward the elevator.

Alex had nodded to her, taking the file. He would take it home and get acquainted with the information, probably not as drastically as she had said, but nonetheless. Rubbing his temples, he headed out of the hospital for the second time that night - this time to go home.

* * *

A/N: Yay, medical stuff! I just got accepted to nursing school, so writing these kinds of chapters are fun for me. There will probably be lots more of these kinds of chapters in updates to come.


	7. Pour a Little Salt, We Were Never Here

A/N: Two updates in a row? I'm on a roll! I wanted to address the crash a little more in this chapter. The show focused some on Cristina's PTSD and Derek's and Arizona's injuries, but other than that, the whole season pretty much has been about almost losing the hospital. That storyline got old and tired quickly for me. With everything the characters have been through, I don't see how they all haven't completely lost it! Poor things. I hope this super storm season 9 finale is more hype than bite! And I have opinions to ask of you guys. Would anyone like to see an/some Izzie-centric chapter(s)? I have some thoughts for them, you know, to address the fact that she not only left her husband but also her friends. I think I could make it work with scenes instead of making whole chapters, though. Just a thought. Feedback or critiques? I'll gladly take them. As always, thanks for reading!

* * *

**Chapter 7: Pour a Little Salt, We Were Never Here**

Alex sat contentedly in his porch swing, the very one that was finally revealed to actually swing by Thatcher Grey, after ending his latest rotation at the hospital. The case file about the Mexican twins lay unopened beside him. An orange sticky-note, stuck haphazardly to the top of the file, read: 'KAREV, STUDY!' in Arizona's bubbly, girlish scrawl. He fully intended to read all he could about the case. He liked to stay on top of his cases at all times, of course, but he held a special respect for the cases on which he worked with Arizona. She had played a huge role in Alex's career, and he would be forever grateful. She had nudged him, well, rather she had pushed his buttons when they needed pushing. Kept him on his toes. Never let him have anything easy. And she had chiseled him into becoming a real surgeon.

This is why, though no one knew, that Alex still harbored little pangs of guilt about the amputation of her leg. Opting out of flying because of fear, Arizona had taken his place. His guilt was absurd, of course, he hadn't made the plane crash - but he was supposed to have been on the plane just the same. He was also the surgeon who had amputated her leg. Though he knew Arizona and the other survivors went through real suffering after that harrowing experience, he still played 'what if' scenarios in his head. What if he had been on that plane? What if, by some random chance, Lexie's and Mark's lives were spared? What if Shepherd never had to question his career because of his hand injury, and Arizona never needed her leg amputated? What if Meredith didn't lose her sister and Cristina hadn't had to witness what happened to poor Lexie's deceased body before being rescued? What if the crash had never happened at all? Would he have taken the residency position at Johns Hopkins?

He wasn't sure what his answer would be. Part of him thought that he definitely stayed in Seattle for Arizona's benefit for more than anything. Alex also respected Arizona because she passionately worked on her cases, but she still managed to find time to spend with Callie and Sofia. The part of him that never wanted to admit anything, even to himself, maybe wanted those things. The hotshot career. The devoted wife. A family. And after the crash, Arizona had become bitter. Angry. The way Alex used to feel all the time. He understood. And he had stayed in Seattle out of respect for a great mentor.

But what if he hadn't? What if, whatever power or force of the universe there is, - god, fate, destiny, chance - had kept him there? Earlier, while noting the changes Meredith and Cristina had made since their internships, he had wondered if he had changed. He thought maybe he had. The old Alex would have never allowed himself to think about such things; the old Alex would have just chalked it up as thinking _too _much. Nothing that downing a few beers or getting laid wouldn't fix. His past, his childhood, kept him closed off. Distrustful. He never wanted to let anyone in. And everyone knew that, so they had accepted him for it. Sure, he earned nicknames like Frat Boy Bitch and Evil Spawn, but he rolled with it. He now knew it was true, too, because he opened up to _himself _a little more - even if he didn't open up for anyone else.

And now the one person that he had ever given more of his real self to was back in Seattle. He didn't even know if he believed in things like destiny and fate, wouldn't know if he would recognize them if they danced naked in front of him, but Izzie's appearance in Seattle at a time when he was a little more honest with himself than in previous years felt a little uncanny.

Hearing someone approaching the house, he broke himself out of his reverie and looked up. And who would it be but Izzie? Of course it was.

* * *

He opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it.

"We meet again," she said shyly, walking onto the porch. The warm light coming out of the living room window glowed on her face. Her eyes were a light caramel color this time, Alex noted. She now wore a green t-shirt and jeans and no make up. Still beautiful. "Jackson said you lived here," Izzie continued. "I thought I'd walk over and, well, apologize for yesterday..." She looked as if she was going to say something else but then thought better of it.

'And for a lot of things?' Alex thought while moving the folder containing his and Arizona's case, motioning for her to sit.

"And also to tell you that it's really _really_ weird that you live here," she said, laughing as she sat beside him, "And with _Cristina_? God, I thought she'd-"

"Be living with Mer and Shepherd?" Alex interjected.

"Exactly!" Izzie said, and they laughed.

"Yeah. I still wonder why I bought it," he said, crossing his arms over his chest, and then he shook his head, showing disagreement with what he just said. "Nah, I do know why. It's home," he said simply, shrugging. And it was. It wasn't the first place he had lived when moving to Seattle, but it was the first place that he had ever really felt at home.

He glanced over at Izzie and saw her smile. Every little insecurity he had felt about seeing her again melted away, and he didn't feel as nervous or as awkward as he had been when they had seen each other in the bar. He just felt a little surreal because she was actually there, sitting next to him. "You, uh... you still have cancer?" He asked, shifting in the swing a little to turn more toward her.

"Oh, Alex. Blunt as ever," she laughed. "And no, thank god! All the mets in my brain continued to shrink gradually-" she gave the slightest of hesitations, but Alex noticed, before continuing, "after I left Seattle. I still go yearly for a brain scan, but I am usually in a hospital anyway, so what's the big deal, right?" She lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug.

"That's great, Iz," Alex said softly. "Really. Glad to hear it."

They were silent then, both obviously thinking of her departure from Seattle. Alex was looking at a point on the floor in front of Izzie, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw her stealing glances at him. He wondered what she was feeling, what she was thinking.

"So no more seeing dead guys, then?" Alex asked, cutting his eyes over at her, unsure of her reaction. He wanted to break the silence.

"Alex! You're horrible!" She exclaimed, laughing. She hit his arm with the back of her hand. "But nope. Nooo dead guys." She drew out the no, and Alex instantly remembered her habit of sometimes drawing out words.

He knew they eventually would have to talk about her leaving all those years ago. They would have to talk about painful, hurtful things. Old wounds would probably be torn back open, and then there would probably be some some salt poured into those wounds. Izzie would have to talk everything through. That's just how she was. And it was one conversation he actually_ wanted _to have. But he didn't think he was ready for that conversation in that moment, so he swallowed all of his pride and pretended to not be thinking of those things.

"So, what brings you to Seattle?" He threw his arm out straight up on the back of the swing behind her. In the past, she would have scooted right up against him, and he would have put his arm around her. But she just cleared her throat, rubbing the palms of her hands back and forth on her jeans.

"Well, I don't take my boards until next month... Yeah, I know, I'm a little behind you guys! But not much," Izzie smiled over at him before continuing, "but I had already been looking for places that may want a future neonatal surgeon." While she said 'neonatal surgeon,' she had deepened her voice to mock seriousness, leaned over, and wiggled her eyebrows. "This is one of them."

"Head of the Vagina Squad, seriously?" Alex smirked. He knew what was coming.

"You guys still call it that?!" Izzie exclaimed excitedly. "_Of course_, seriously!"

He just wanted to hear her say 'seriously' again.

"Wherever I finish out my residency will define where I start a fellowship," she continued. "I've already interviewed at the Mayo and Cleveland Clinics and at Brigham in Boston. I've interviewed here, and I have interviews set up with Mass Gen and the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston."

Alex made a 'not bad' face, and just nodded, impressed. He knew hospitals didn't interview residents who hadn't even passed the boards yet for potential fellowships for shits and giggles. She must have made a great surgeon, after all.

"I know, right?" Izzie said when he pulled the 'not bad' face. "It helps that I have shared publication on a really cool clinical trial about eye prophylaxis in newborns. Oh, and a _really_ amazing letter of recommendation from none other than Dr. Addison Montgomery," Izzie smiled brightly, obviously happy that Addison thought so highly of her.

Alex wasn't surprised. He recalled that he had once overheard Addison telling someone that Izzie was gifted. And Izzie's bright smile was infectious, so he found himself grinning like an idiot at her. "Happy for you, Iz." Then, he jumped up from the swing excitedly.

"Hey, you want a beer?"

She looked up at him, thinking. Then she shrugged. "Sure, why not?" She stood up, saying, "First, how about we try that awful hug again?" She held her arms out, waving her fingers in 'come here' motion.

"Hell yeah," Alex said, laughing. He happily complied.


	8. No Resistance

A/N: Thank all of you so much for the reviews! They are definitely keeping me inspired! Special thanks to Rasa - my heart broke a little, too, when Alex said he loved Jo. But in my mind, A/I is still going strong! Am I delusional? Maybe! :) As always, thank you all for reading!

* * *

**Chapter 8: No Resistance  
**

"I don't have that much furniture yet," Alex mumbled, walking inside with Izzie. He began to feel slightly self-conscious again, knowing that she could be a little judgmental sometimes, but he saw her smiling brightly again and realized his self-consciousness was unwarranted.

"What? Alex, this is _great_. Unlimited potential! All it needs is a woman's touch," she said, looking around.

He knew she was mentally adding decorations and furniture and who knows what else. The living room walls were bare. A fake potted plant, dusty and mangled-looking, stood in the corner. He had a TV sitting on a small rolling table, but other than that, only the couch, a small coffee table, and a lamp sitting on top of a stack of medical journals were in the living room. Meredith had let him keep the dining room table, chairs, and bar stools that were already in the kitchen. Three empty cereal boxes littered the island in the middle of the kitchen, and beer bottles with varying states of liquid were scattered on every surface. An empty pizza box lay in the sink.

Izzie had walked into the kitchen, then pivoted, instantly walking back out. "_Oookay_, I didn't see any of that," she sighed, practically falling backward onto the couch. "God knows Cristina doesn't care about that type of thing," she said, throwing her long legs up onto the coffee table.

Alex had walked into the kitchen to grab a couple of beers for them, and she continued to talk to him, well, talk _at _him from her place on the couch while he did that.

"And you're a_ man_... A knock-your-lights-out then ask questions, college-wrestling _man_, so you have to be excused for not knowing these things!"

Alex watched her while he opened the bottles, his mouth twitching a little at the corners with a smile as she rambled on. "But of course, you are a smart man, or else you wouldn't be Dr. Badass, so that doesn't give you an excuse to live like a broke ass little college boy," she finished, reaching for her beer. He had come back into the living room and held it out to her, then sat down beside her, throwing his feet up on the table in front of them as she had.

"Dr. Badass? I was a badass before I was Dr. Badass, so I can't even really claim that title," he said, looking at her. "The badass is just a given. Everybody knows it. Doctor or no doctor." He smirked.

She scoffed, then leaned over and poked her elbow into his ribcage. "Uh, _no_ -"

Alex winced slightly, his face tightening with a look of pain as he sharply inhaled his breath. Her elbow had gouged him in the exact place where he had been shot. The area where the bullet had entered him never ached or throbbed with pain, but sometimes if something touched the scar tissue just right, he felt a little electrical pulse of pain radiate through that small area. Dr. Bailey had tried to minimize the amount of scar tissue he would have, but he had left the bullet in for too many days, and of course, she gave him another scolding when she had finished the removal. Besides the direct contact with the scar tissue, he didn't feel any pain. But he could still remember the hot, throbbing feeling of the bullet entering his side and warm blood rushing out of the wound.

"Is my elbow too sharp or something?" Izzie asked, clearly getting ready to make a joke, but a flicker of something in Alex's eyes made her abandon her attempt at teasing him.

Alex momentarily wondered if he should tell her about him being shot since she clearly didn't know. She always used to complain that he never told her anything until after it happened, until she found out from someone else about whatever it was, and that she hadn't liked things being that way in the slightest. If there was a chance that she may be coming back to Seattle for good, he knew he couldn't start off on the wrong foot with her. Who knows where she had been these last few years, and she may have a whole different life, a whole new set of friends and relationships where she would run back to if things didn't work out in Seattle. If he pushed her away. If there was any chance for them to rekindle any kind of relationship, friendly or otherwise, he knew he'd have to use some of those new grown-up thinking skills he believed he had finally acquired. Though he hadn't been ready or willing to have the conversation yet, he didn't see any way around it.

"Alex? What did I do?" She asked. She had taken her legs off the table, placing her feet flat on the floor, a concerned look on her face.

'That's a loaded question,' he thought. He almost wanted to say it, but didn't. Instead, he rolled his shoulders, trying to pop his neck, and then took down a big gulp of his beer before clearing his throat.

"I know you heard things about Seattle Grace. Tragedies," he said quietly. He didn't look at her, but if he had, he would have seen a guarded look on her face.

"The plane crash?" She asked in a small voice, puzzled. He knew she was trying to make the connection between his side and that incident.

"No," he said, this time looking up at her, "Before."

She studied his face, and now he was the one wearing a guarded look. He was trying not to become defensive or angry. Izzie had left. Gone. With no trace. And these terrible things had happened. Injuries, deaths. Everyone had been affected in some way. Either directly, by being involved, or indirectly, by knowing someone who was injured or dead. And she hadn't had to experience those things. Now she was back here, all 'bright and shiny,' as Meredith used to say, and more people than him may have old wounds reopened, too. 'None of it was her fault anyway,' Alex reminded himself, calming his internal turmoil, 'she nearly died here, too.' An image of her laying in a hospital bed sick and pallid, weak and hoarse from cancer snapped him out of his growing anger.

"A mass shooting," Izzie said, taking her eyes away from his, "it was all over the news. I do remember because I cried while watching," she admitted quietly. "I was mad at myself for months because I was such a bitch and called no one. I worried about Mer and Cristina and you-" she stopped, jerking her head back up to look at him. Realization dawned on her face.

"Oh, Alex. You got shot," she whispered, tears in her voice.

Alex, his feet still propped up on the coffee table, felt the couch cushion shift as she moved closer to him. His arms crossed, he looked into her beautiful brown eyes and they were filled with tears that hadn't yet fallen. "You got shot," she whispered again, and he felt a tentative hand touch his side tenderly, feeling the smooth but raised edges of a scar through his shirt.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. You were there for me," she had started to cry. "You were there for me and I wasn't there for you."

"C'mere, Iz," Alex said softly, reaching up to take her hand away from his scar to hold it in his. He reached up with his other hand to wipe the tears that had fallen.

"I'm sorry I left you. I wasn't there for you," she repeated in a whisper again, and Alex put his arms around her, pulling her against him.

It just felt right, in that moment, to hold her against him. Natural. Familiar. Something that you've terribly missed and didn't know how terribly until it came back to you and you remember the feeling of what it was like without it.

"Alex?"

He was gently rubbing her back. "Yeah, Iz?"

She sat up a little, her eyes a bit dryer. "Kiss me."

He still had his arms around her, and she wrapped hers around him, leaning in closer to his face.

"Kiss me, Alex," she softly said, her lips almost brushing his.

He wanted to resist her, but he had never been able to before, so why start now?

He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, and for him, everything else nearly melted away. He deepened the kiss, parting her lips with his tongue, and they kissed slowly and passionately. She moved up a hand to cup the back of his neck, and she held his face with the other. His hands went to her hair, and he shifted underneath her so he could move and lay her against the couch. The surreal feeling came over Alex again - he couldn't believe he was holding her, kissing her again. He broke the kiss and looked down out her, and she was looking right back into his eyes.

"Wow," she breathed, then laughed a little. "Wow." No one had ever been able to kiss her like Alex.

"Want me to do it again?"

She gave him an incredulous look. "Do you have to ask?"

He smirked slightly at her, and started to kiss her again when he heard someone come in his front door.

He and Izzie both stretched to see who it was.

It was Jo.


	9. And I, for One, Can't Wait

A/N: I've already got another update in the works, just having a busy week's end, so bear with me! This story is my baby, so I'm rolling along with ideas. Thank you so so much for reading!

* * *

**Chapter 9: And I, for One, Can't Wait  
**

"Oh, god. Please tell me that's not your girlfriend," Izzie said, her voice low. Using her elbows, she pushed herself to a sitting position and eyed the younger woman standing there watching them. Both women's faces were unreadable.

'Son of a bitch,' thought Alex, quickly pushing himself away from Izzie and the couch. He had forgotten Jo would probably come to his house after her latest shift for an apology. "Jo, I-"

"Honestly, Karev," Jo interrupted him, "I had heard things about you and ignored them because we're friends. But I see everyone was right about you." She was obviously angry and hurt.

Not sure if her hurt and anger stemmed from something more than the fact that he had tried to use her, Alex didn't say anything for a few seconds. He hadn't wanted to hurt Jo in any kind of way, ever. He genuinely cared for her and valued her friendship, but when she said that, he was the one who turned from apologetic to angry and hurt.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, you heard things-"

Izzie had sat up, watching the scene unfold, and this time she interrupted him. "They probably told you stories about Alex and said he is an ass, right?"

"Who _are_ you?" Jo asked Izzie, looking confused and a little bothered that this strange woman was even talking to her.

"Who the hell are _you_?" Izzie snapped defensively, seeing the look on Jo's face.

"Iz," Alex said with a tone of warning.

"No," Izzie said, silencing him, "Little girl lost needs to get a clue. Yes, Alex can be an ass, okay? But he is a _good _man." She stood up, anger now apparent in her voice. "Don't you _ever _assume that he is only what hospital _bullshit_ says he is," she said, touching Alex's arm as she walked by him, "and if you were really his friend, you would know that."

Izzie stopped beside the shorter woman, looking intently at her. Jo's jaw was set, clearly keeping her from saying whatever it was she was thinking, and signaling that she clearly wasn't happy with what Izzie was saying.

Alex stood there, watching both women - one who he had once loved deeply and completely, and the other, who he regarded highly and probably would have attempted to love if his loneliness got the better of him.

Izzie had earlier apologized for not being there for him, and now she had taken up for him. He felt that was her way of saying she was there for him now, and he knew that her words hadn't been contrived. Izzie had meant what she said, and she had said he was a good man. Alex knew then that it wouldn't be hard to fall in love with her again because he had truly never stopped.

He instantly remembered their wedding day, when he had stood up in front of his closest friends and other colleagues, and looked into her beautiful eyes. He had meant what he said in his vows the day of their wedding:

_'Today's the day my life begins. All my life I've been just me. Just a smart mouth kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you. To our future. To all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I'll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life, to take on love. To take on possibility and responsibility. Today, Izzie Stevens, our life together begins. And I, for one, can't wait.'_

And now she was here again, and he knew they could face the issues they still hadn't discussed. Once, he had told her that he didn't want to be the future of the hospital if she wasn't in it, and now he felt it was true once again.

"I'm gonna leave and let you two sort out whatever it is that's going on," Izzie said, turning to look at Alex. They glanced into each others' eyes, and Alex looked at her with an intensity that made Izzie crack a huge smile, even if she wasn't quite sure why. She nodded to him, and he knew she was saying she'd see him later. She then walked out the door.

Jo, who had been watching Alex's face, had seen the way he looked at Izzie, and even though she was still a little angry with him, she softened.

"Who is she, Alex?"

"That's my girl," Alex said gently, looking at Jo, "Now shut up and come sit down so I can apologize or whatever."

And she did.

* * *

Izzie left Alex's house, wondering who the Jo person was inside with Alex. From Jo's admission of hearing things about Alex in the hospital and the fact that she looked like she had just walked off the stage from graduating medical school, Izzie deduced that she was an intern. She briefly wondered if Alex had slept with her before. If they had, did they have a back-and-forth relationship as she and Alex had once had, or had it been once or a couple of times? Or were they simply friends, as the dark-haired girl had said?

Like Alex had thought of her, Izzie had often thought of him throughout the years. Sometimes the thoughts brought pleasure, and other times, they only hurt. When she left Seattle the first time, still with cancer in her body, she had been extremely hurt that Alex was afraid to touch her when he once couldn't keep his hands off her. She was afraid that he had only married her because the opportunity arose, and scared that she was going to die, he made a snap decision. Seattle, a place she once loved, had become a sick-bed - a poisonous place. In her mind, all of her friends and colleagues were ever only going to see her as _'cancer girl'_ - whether she won the battle with it or not.

She knew that Alex loved her, and she loved him, too, but she had to get away. He had freaked out, yelling at her that he was afraid to move around her, afraid to breathe, because she had died in his arms. And she knew that had plagued him, and she didn't know how to fix it. All at once, she felt suffocated and trapped and couldn't think about anything but the cancer. When Alex kissed her, he was thinking of her cancer. Whenever Meredith or Cristina or even Bailey saw her in the halls of the hospital, they were thinking of her cancer. Then, as a special topping on top of her shitcake, she had been fired. She had been so mad at Alex for meddling, mistaking his protection of her for his fear, and then she was just hurt. And so she split. She needed time to think. Time to breathe.

She had gone back to Chehalis, craving a place where things were simpler. A place where she didn't have to worry about her next IL-2 treatment or whether or not Alex, her own _husband_, would look at her or touch her that day. She knew she would be safe with her mother in the trailer park where she had grown up. The neighbors might ask questions, might pity her for being sick, but they all had their own problems and would just chalk her cancer up as another one of life's shitty hands. They wouldn't make a big deal out of it. And her mother, busy with making sure her eyeshadow coordinated with what outfit she was wearing and that she had enough money in the bank to call the psychic with her latest crisis, would pet Izzie as best as she could, but she wouldn't make a big deal out of her cancer, either. And so there she had stayed, wallowing in pain and self-pity, which was embarrassing to look back on now, but she couldn't make heads nor tails of anything in her life at that time.

Alex would call her, leaving voicemails that conveyed every emotion, and she couldn't bring herself to pick up the phone. She couldn't bear to know that the man she loved was only watching the clock, checking off days on the calender, each time she made it through another day. And she felt he was partially to blame for her firing. She couldn't even look at him. She had worked so hard to get out of Chehalis, to make her dreams of being a surgeon work - giving up a daughter, subjecting herself to ridicule for paying her way through medical school by modeling - and now Alex, the true love of her life, had played a small part in marring her dream.

Then, after a few weeks, when her body hadn't ached so and the dark cloud in her mind had begun to dissipate, she realized she needed to get back to him. Back to her dream. And he was now part of her dream. She never thought she could have loved someone so completely as she loved Alex, and she didn't want to throw it away because of self-pity. Denny hadn't been her big love - she once thought he had been, but she realized she was wrong. Denny had only come into her life as a foreshadowing of things to come. He was the omen that had shown up in a hospital bed, telling her that he was healthy all his life until he wasn't, showing her that, she, too would soon be in the same position. And when she hadn't picked up on that omen, he had come to her in hallucinations, letting her know the melanoma was eating into her brain.

Denny had been death. And Alex had been the one she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with - he represented the part of her that was _alive_, alive in every sense of the word. And so she had gone scrambling for a job in Tacoma to be closer to him, to work on their marriage, and she returned to the hospital only to find out he had slept with Lexie.

She had been crushed by him once again, as she had been so many times before, but she always forgave him. Forgave him for cheating. Forgave him for calling her a 'dumb bitch.' Because underneath all of Alex's smug bravado and, yes, even sometimes vindictive need to make people hurt emotionally as he had for the better part of his life, she _knew _he was inherently good. She had seen it. She believed in him, so she hid her hurt and told him they'd work through it. But, closing himself off to her because he was hurt, he had told her that he deserved better than to be treated the way he had been for the past few weeks, and Izzie had automatically taken it to mean that he '_deserved better than cancer wife_.' He told her to leave and to not come back, and so she heeded his wishes. She had left. She was angry, at the boiling point, but she had sucked it up and left. And she had regretted that she didn't fight for him. Didn't fight for them. But she had no way of knowing if Alex felt the same.

Now, with no more sickness, fully healthy and ready to fight for him, she hoped they could work out their issues and make things right between them - regardless of whether or not she got the job in Seattle. He wasn't just Alex, he was _her _Alex.


	10. Rip Off the Band-Aid

**Chapter 10: Rip Off the Band-Aid  
**

Izzie didn't know how long Alex and Jo would have to discuss whatever it was they were discussing, so she didn't worry about waiting for him. She'd see him before she had to fly out for another interview in Massachusetts. Her mind had been cleared from worry about seeing Alex again, but the new worry that had started to creep in was how her old friends would react to seeing her again. And, for her, it would be different without George. Weird not seeing McSteamy in the hallways anymore. And strange to not hear Lexie spout off something from memory like she was reading it straight from a book. Due to the incidents that had happened there after Izzie's departure, there were undoubtedly new wounds for those at Grey + Sloan Memorial Hospital, but for Izzie, there were only old ghosts. She hoped she would be able to clear out the cobwebs that hid in the corners, to chase the ghosts from the hallways.

Her earlier interview with Jackson had gone well, and surprisingly, she had found that he was competent and attentive as the boss. She had been skeptical at first when she had heard about the hospital's ordeal and Jackson's new found title. After the interview, they had ended up just talking. That was one of the reasons she knew that Alex lived in Meredith's house now. But Izzie had voiced her concerns to Jackson about returning here if there was a position for her, and she didn't know how she should go about suppressing some of those concerns. And what Jackson had said had resonated with her.

_'Well, Dr. Stevens, sometimes you just have to rip off the band-aid.' _

He had made sure to call her Dr. Stevens because he knew she was worried that her previous firing might lower her chances, and then he had given her that dazzling smile. Handsome men always knew how to use their charms in the right situations, and she didn't mind at all. His kindness toward her had made her realize that she did need to rip the band-aid off and start over with her old friends.

* * *

That was how she found herself standing outside the hospital after she had left Alex's. The new Grey + Sloan Memorial Hospital sign shone brightly in the darkness. She stood outside, looking up at the glass windows, contemplating about whether or not to go in, when she heard someone speak behind her.

"You have a thing about being frozen to one spot outside hospitals."

Izzie turned to see Cristina standing behind her, munching on a bagel.

"Cristina!" Izzie immediately went in for a hug, and she felt Cristina recoil as she hugged her.

"I don't really... do the hugging... Okay."

Cristina didn't attempt to hug her back, still munching on her bagel as Izzie hugged her, but she let Izzie hug her anyway.

Izzie laughed. "You are _exactly _the same."

Lifting her shoulder in a half-shrug, she steered Izzie by her arm inside the automatic doors of the hospital. "Biologically, everyone changes. Cells are replaced every day. You know that. Or did you not retain all of that information?"

Cristina didn't smile at Izzie, but Izzie could see a softness in her eyes when Cristina looked at her, and Izzie knew then it would be okay with her. They walked together to the elevators.

Izzie was about to speak when the elevator doors opened. Clearly flirting in the elevator were Meredith and Derek. Izzie noticed that Meredith was hugely pregnant, and Izzie automatically began brimming with excitement.

Derek was animatedly saying something to Meredith. "Meredith, that's not what-"

Derek had looked up, seeing Cristina, still munching on her bagel, and then he was shocked to see Izzie standing beside her.

"Izzie! How wonderful to see you," he said, sounding genuine. He stepped up to her, and she offered to shake his hand, but he hugged her instead.

'Okay, weird, but I'll take it,' Izzie thought.

"Meredith, I have to go do a consult, but I'll see you and Zola at home." Derek had leaned over to kiss Meredith's cheek, and then smiled at Izzie again. "Hope you'll be joining our staff again. Addison emailed me this morning and told me to write a letter of recommendation for you. I told you before that I'd help you be hired here again, so I'd be happy to do that."

Meredith shot Derek a dirty look as he left the elevator. "You mean you _knew _she was coming here?!"

"From what I hear, you did, too!" Derek called over his shoulder.

Izzie coughed, pretending to disguise words. "Breakdown of communication?"

She had done it that way because she wanted to break the tension with Meredith. Izzie remembered being slightly bitchy to her friend before she had left. Meredith had asked her not to leave, had told her this was her home. And Izzie had said that it wasn't. It was just a place she worked, and she could do that anywhere. She realized after that she had no right to say that to Meredith, but she had been mad at Alex, and it had just come out. She had known Meredith wouldn't have forgiven and forgotten it so easily, and quite frankly, Izzie couldn't blame her.

"Hey, you just don't get to show back up here and expect everything to instantly be peaches." Meredith shot her a wary look.

"Peachy, Mer. The term is peachy," Cristina corrected her, now scrolling through her phone.

"Ugh, it's this pregnancy brain. This baby is sucking the smart out of me."

Meredith waddled off the elevator, with her hands on her hips, giving Izzie a looking over.

"This is totally weird, but you look so much like your mom right now," Izzie said, smirking.

"Wow, you really don't want to get back in her good graces, do you?" Cristina had her eyebrows raised, now looking at Izzie.

Meredith rolled her eyes, giving Izzie a dismissive wave with her hand. "Well, tell us where you've been. And do it while we walk to the coffee cart. The tiny human is actively trying to break out of my stomach to steal the rest of Cristina's bagel."

"I can't believe you're pregnant! That's so great! And who is Zola?" Izzie asked her as the three of them headed to the coffee cart.

"Nuh uh. No. I ask the questions, you answer," Meredith said, shaking her head.

Izzie opened her mouth to speak, but this time, Cristina interrupted her.

"She took off about a year, started a residency at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami under Dr. Mary Caldwell, who is only the most respected neonatal surgeon in, hmm, the _world_, besides Addison," Cristina stated, like it was the most well-known information in the world, "oh, and she takes her oral boards next month."

Izzie and Meredith both looked at each other, puzzled looks on their faces.

"Stalker, much?" Izzie said, "but really, how did you know that?"

"_Cris-tina_," Meredith said in her manner of scolding, "you knew all of that and didn't tell me?"

"What? She's got shared publication on an amazing clinical trial. It was in the American Journal of Medicine." She looked at Izzie. "Not that you're amazing. But the clinical trial was amazing."

Meredith and Izzie just stared.

"Don't you read?" Cristina asked her, rolling her eyes. "And anyway, I wanted to make sure that she wasn't, you know, dead."

Izzie laughed. "Pretty sure I couldn't have shared publication on a clinical trial if I'm dead."

"Not necessarily," Cristina said, about to continue, when her pager went off. "Well, I'm out." She began to head in the direction of the E.R. "And welcome back, Dr. Model."

"Oh, I know about that. If a doctor dies during a clinical trial, they automatically publish them for a memorial thing," Meredith said, sighing. "But no one tells me anything anymore, apparently."

"Well, I would've told you where I've been, but she obviously still knows _everything_," Izzie said, nodding in the direction that Cristina had gone in.

"I know. She reads," Meredith shrugged.

"You know that I'm really sorry that I acted like a complete bitch when I left, right? There were a lot of things that... that I said that I shouldn't have, and I had no right to just dismiss you. You were there for me, too," Izzie blurted.

Meredith smiled a little. "You're forgiven. I mean, I was pissed, but you had cancer." Her cell started to ring in her pocket. "One second, Izzie," she said, answering it.

"Hello? Hey, Brooks. Yes... ye- stop talking. Hold on a second," Meredith shifted the phone away from her mouth, talking to Izzie, "I have to take this, but we'll talk soon. I'm glad you're okay."

Izzie smiled brightly at her, giving a small wave, and turned to walk out of the hospital. But then she heard Meredith speak.

"Hey, Izzie?"

Izzie turned around to see her still holding the phone to her ear and shifted away from her mouth, Heather Brooks obviously still holding on the other line.

"If you and Alex decide to give it another go, do not hurt him. He's one of my favorite people, and you used to be. But you left," she said, giving Izzie a stern look, "not saying you won't be again, but I love Alex. Do it right this time or don't do it at all." Meredith nodded at her, giving a small smile, then shifted the phone back up to her mouth and began talking to Brooks.

Izzie sighed, watching Meredith walk away. Ripping off that band-aid had stung a little.


	11. Location, Location, Location

**Chapter 11: Location, Location, Location**

Alex and Jo's discussion had gone better than he expected, but Jo had still cried. 'Great. Two crying chicks in one night,' he had thought while handing her tissues.

The reason for her tears was that she had been confused in her feelings about him, not knowing whether to act on them or not, not knowing if she really liked him or just liked their friendship. Then, he had done the asshole thing of trying to get into her pants as a distraction, and she felt hurt. The ultimate hurt was when she had walked in on Alex and Izzie because she had wanted to know how he felt about her, and instead found him on top of someone else on the couch that she had helped him pick out.

But Alex had explained to her that he hadn't planned it that way, and he was sorry. He had entertained the idea of turning their friendship into more, but he honestly had nothing more than friendly feelings toward her and it wouldn't have been fair to her. Jo was glad Alex was honest with her, and she had forgiven him, telling him that their friendship was still golden.

"But Alex, your girl, you didn't say who she is..." Jo had said, after their conversation had wrapped and she was getting ready to go.

"That was Izzie, my ex-wife."

Jo had raised her eyebrows, giving him a skeptical look. "You know exes are usually so for a reason..."

Not missing a beat, Alex shrugged.

"Stupid reasons."

* * *

Alex found himself walking to the hospital after that. He wanted to find Arizona and talk about a few things on the case file she had given him to study. On the way in, he nearly ran right into Izzie as she was on her way out.

"Can't stay out of this place, can you?" Izzie winked at him. She automatically leaned in and kissed his cheek, and then wondered if maybe he minded. She then decided that he didn't. Alex was a lot of things, but he usually said what was on his mind, and he was definitely straight up with people.

"Nah. I lied to you earlier. The real reason I bought Mer's house is 'cause it's so close to the hospital," he winked back at her, "if I can't live here, the house was the next best thing."

Izzie laughed, and he smiled from ear to ear. Her prediction that he hadn't minded the kiss on the cheek was right. Of course he hadn't minded. Alex was glad that things between them were so easy and natural, not forced in the slightest. They were comfortable around each other even though they hadn't been near each other in years. That had always been one of the best things about their relationship in the past - no matter what they put each other through, they had always had the chemistry to make it work. To come back to one another.

"Hey, you wanna come talk to Arizona with me? I'll even buy you a cup of coffee," Alex said, clearly trying to tempt her to come in with him. He suddenly wanted to show her off, maybe, or just spend more time with her either way.

"I really need to go back to the hotel and pack," Izzie said distractedly, thinking, then changed her mind. "Actually, you know what, I have four hours before my flight. Be _such _a gentleman and buy me coffee," she finished, teasing him.

He offered his arm to her, smiling a little. "You're gonna mock me now? Well, no coffee for you."

"I'm _so_ hurt. Seriously. I might not recover." She took his arm and they fell in step with one another, entering the hospital again. "How'd your talk go with intern-girl?"

"Intern-girl cried, but we're good now," Alex said, shrugging.

"Do you guys have like... a past? Or?"

"Nah. Nothing like that. Jo's like my sister," Alex pressed the elevator button as they reached it, "things have just been messed up with the crap about the hospital and we all thought we were gonna be fired, you know, emotions ran high or whatever, so feelings got a little mixed up."

They entered the elevator. Alex stepped away from Izzie, leaning back against the wall. It had always been easy to talk to her, and nothing had changed. Now he was certainly hopeful that she got her job back here because he wanted to see more and more of her. He hadn't known she would be leaving Seattle for her next interview so soon, and he found himself thinking that he wasn't really ready for her to go yet.

"Yeah, getting fired does make emotions run high," Izzie glanced over at him, a small smirk on her face.

"Your panties still in a knot about that one?" Alex asked defensively, then saw that she was joking. "'Cause I was gonna say I can help you out with that. A quick fix," he said, trying to make a quick recovery from his defensive question.

Izzie stood facing the elevator doors, and Alex leaned against the wall, facing her. At his words, she turned toward him and crossed her arms, smirking at him.

"Oh, you do, hmm? And what, exactly, is your treatment, Dr. Badass?" She asked in a joking tone.

But Alex wasn't joking. He stepped toward her, placing his hands on her arms, and pushed her against the wall.

"Take them off," he said, his voice low. He put his lips on hers, pressing his hips against hers, and deepened the kiss. Izzie gripped his face in her hands and bit at his bottom lip. Alex pulled his mouth away from hers and moved to her neck. She sighed with pleasure, her hands now on his back. Alex felt himself becoming more and more aroused.

"Wanna go to an on-call room? Supply closet?" He asked, smirking, thinking of the time she had snatched her scrub top over her head in a supply closet, saying she was horny, and ordered him to take off his pants.

Still gripping his face, she looked into his eyes and Alex saw something there, but he couldn't quite decipher what it was.

"I can't, Alex. Not here. Not yet," she said, taking her eyes away from his, shaking her head slowly.

At first he wanted to be annoyed, wondering why she had enthusiastically joined in, but then he realized that she wasn't referring to him at all. She was referring to the location - the hospital. She still hadn't worked out all of her demons with the place.

She looked back up at him, a mischievous shine in her eyes.

"But you can take me back to your place."


	12. Tell Me How My Nature Feels

A/N: There will be probably be some Alex/Callie/Arizona interaction coming up, and I'm trying to decide if I want the whole Calzona/Lauren cheating thing to happen or not in my little Alex/Iz world. Shonda needs a swift kick, more than once, sometimes... Anyway, my notifications were screwed up for a day or so, so if I usually reply to you and didn't, I apologize! Also, I always call out the guest reviewers because I can't reply to them like you other guys, so Julia - thanks and hope you'll keep reading! And Rasa, that sounds so cool! I'd love to see illustrations. I'm gonna keep on keepin' on, so thank you all for reading!

* * *

**Chapter 12: Tell Me How My Nature Feels  
**

Alex didn't hesitate when Izzie suggested that they go back to his house. In fact, he had taken her hand and quickly pulled her through the parking lot of the hospital toward the direction of his house. Izzie had followed behind, giggling like a school girl, making jokes and pretending to dig her feet into the concrete to slow him down. All pretense of why Alex had even gone to the hospital had left his mind. He just knew that Izzie wanted him, and he wanted her more than anything in that moment. The first night he had seen her again in the Emerald City Bar, his thoughts automatically had been directed on her body, which was something he had always loved - even before he had actually fallen in love with her. Seeing her again in person had only made that fact more palpable. The little moments they had already had together, the kisses, the sexual tension, it was driving him crazy.

Izzie still laughed as they reached his front door, and he shuffled through his pockets looking for his keys. She had stepped up to him, her arms wrapped around him, planting small kisses on his lips as he looked for his keys.

"Really, Alex? _Really? _You never lock your door except this one time?" She asked, laughing a little against his mouth.

"I didn't know I was gonna be bringing a hot chick back to my place," he said, laughter in his voice, and turned her around to put her against the door. He had fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked it behind her as they kissed passionately.

"Lucky for me, you did," she said, and they entered the house, a tangle of lips and hands.

"Pretty lucky for me, too," Alex said against her mouth. He lifted up her shirt, tugging it over her head, and tossed it aside. She pulled his over his head in another blur of flying clothes.

Alex bent his head down, kissing her neck, moving her in the direction of the couch. Still kissing him fervently, Izzie's legs hit the couch and she tumbled backward onto it, bringing Alex down on top of her. He was already highly aroused, and when he saw the full picture of her half-naked and under him, he felt an erection begin to grow. Reaching down to unbutton her jeans, he placed small kisses down her chest, across her breasts, and the soft skin on her stomach.

Izzie felt like she was on fire from his kisses. He tapped her thigh with his fingers, signaling that he wanted to take off her jeans. She lifted her torso and he worked her jeans and panties down her legs, kissing her thighs and as he went. He unzipped his own jeans to let his erection free, and then moved back up her body, looking at her through heavy-lidded eyes. Staring at each other for a few seconds, he then ran a hand through her hair, and kissed her deeply. She had an arm around his shoulder, and she sat up a little, holding onto him, while taking off her bra. Another blur of discarded clothing flew through the air and landed in the floor. He placed a hand between her legs and pushed a finger inside her. She was already hot and wet, and she began to breathe a little heavier as he moved it in and out of her.

"Alex," she whispered breathlessly, "I need you."

He felt her hand travel down his torso and grab his hard cock. She gently worked her hand up and down his length. His breath hitched in his throat. It had been so long since she had touched him intimately, but she still knew exactly how to touch him. She unbuttoned his pants, and he stretched one leg onto the floor to get one leg out, nearly falling in his attempt to get the other leg out.

"Son of a bitch," he said as he toppled over, and she giggled, sitting up and grabbing his arms. He pulled her against him, her naked breasts pushing against his chest, and he kissed her deeply. Wrapping her arms around his neck, he laid her back against the couch again and positioned himself over her.

"You want this?" He asked softly, making sure.

She nodded.

He rocked his hips forward and pushed himself into her. Her body was tight and hot, and he groaned slightly as he went in deeper. Izzie gasped, digging her fingernails into his back. He smirked down at her. "You like that?" He quickly pulled all the way out, hovering over her.

"Oh, god, why did you stop?" Her voice was both husky and exasperated.

Grinning, he slid slowly back into her.

"Mmm," she gasped, arching her back. Then he pulled out again.

"Alex Karev, you are a fucking tease! Either put it in and leave it, or lose it," she had reached up and grabbed him by his hair, talking through gritted teeth.

"Shut up."

Alex liked to tease Izzie, liked to make her crazy. Half the time she made him crazy and she didn't even realize it. He had to balance the equation in any way he could. And in their past relationship, there had been missteps, but this part had never been one. Every emotion came through, almost as a cleansing experience. Volitility. Passion. Anger. Love. Everything was fair game when no words had to be used.

They both moved together with fluidity, their bodies in sync with one another. Alex had been with plenty of women, but none of them had ever responded to his touch quite like Izzie did. He moved against her, and she wrapped her long legs around him, moving to meet his thrusts. Her heavy breathing in his ear caused him to quicken his pace, and she dug her fingernails into his back, tightening her legs around him. She moaned his name into his ear and he felt himself beginning to get ready for release. Izzie's mouth felt like it was everywhere - his face, his neck, his earlobes - her breath catching in her throat.

He felt her mouth on his shoulder, her teeth and tongue pressing into his skin as she lightly bit his shoulder while making small sounds of pleasure. This sent Alex over the edge, and he groaned, thrusting hard into her. She cried out, biting him a little harder, and they both came at the same time. Alex collapsed on top of her in a hot, sweaty tangle of legs and arms. Both of them were breathless and satisfied.

"Oh. My. _God_. Seriously?" Izzie said, still trying to catch her breath.

Alex, his head against her chest, smirking a little.

Izzie reached up and combed her fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head. Her legs were still around him.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?" He was enjoying just lying on top of her, feeling her brush her fingers through his hair. He didn't have to be afraid to touch her anymore, afraid to breathe around her, and it felt amazing.

"Look at me."

He raised up on his arms, lifting his head up to look at her. She kissed him, allowing the kiss to linger.

"We have time to do it again before my flight," she said seductively.

He grinned.


	13. You Got Me

**Chapter 13: You Got Me  
**

Izzie and Alex had spent the better part of the time she had left in Seattle just exploring each other's bodies, making up for lost time, and chasing away any trace of loneliness either one of them may have felt. They laughed and talked and joked and each of them wondered how they had made it so many years without the feeling of being with one another. Neither one of them could bring themselves to voice it, but the feeling was there and definitely mutual.

Izzie had almost been late for her flight because they had rushed to her hotel room late, and Alex had helped her throw things haphazardly into her suitcase. She complained the whole time because she liked things neat and orderly, and there was no chance of her suitcase having a semblance of order. Alex had just laughed at her, telling her she was borderline obsessive compulsive, feeling happier than he had in a while.

Alex had taken her to the airport for her red eye flight to Massachusetts, waiting with her until he couldn't go any farther in the terminal. She stood in front of him, tall and blonde and beaming, the way she had in the past. But he saw a flicker of something in her eyes, and he wondered what it was. She did want to know what exactly it was they were doing? Was she worried she wouldn't see him again? He himself had doubts... she had taken off before, what stopped her from going back to the life she had been living in Miami? Had she been just using him as a gauge, a test, to see if she had truly moved on?

He had been looking down at his feet while thinking, and when he looked back up, she was looking right into his eyes. Tears were shining in hers.

"I feel like I just got you back," she said softly, "I don't want to let you go." She now looked down at her feet, her lips trembling.

Alex pulled her against him, and she fit perfectly against him in his arms. He sighed, thinking, unsure of what to say.

"Listen, if you want me, Iz... you got me. We were stupid. Two kids trying to play house while you were freakin' dying," he said, placing his hand under her chin and tilting up her head for her to look at him, "and not saying I won't mess up again, but you know you make me want to be good. You always have. And I can be good with you."

Tears started freely flowing down Izzie's face, and she wiped at her eyes with both hands, choking back a sob. "Oh, _god_, Alex... you were supposed to keep me from crying, not make me cry!"

Her voice sounded full of tears. She leaned in and kissed him as he wore a little lopsided smirk on his face.

"What if I don't get the job in Seattle?"

"Then Jackson is..." he trailed off, sliding his index finger across his throat while making a slicing noise, "but we'll worry about that when we have to. You just kill it in your next interview."

Izzie laughed, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him again. "Does Alex regret signing divorce papers?" She asked, turning her head and looking at him from the corners of her eyes, smirking.

"Does Izzie regret sending them?" He made a face at her.

She laughed, turning to walk away from him, and they stood looking at each other for a few seconds before she disappeared through the terminal. Alex was smiling. The last time she had left Seattle, he had thought he would never see her again. This time, he didn't worry about that problem.

* * *

Alex went back to his house after the left the airport, wondering how he had managed to have such a perfect night. Sex, sex with Izzie specifically, and no pages to the hospital? He wondered if maybe his luck was turning around or if he should wait for everything to come crashing down again. He never knew what to expect.

He was sitting on the couch, twirling a ponytail holder that Izzie had left on his coffee table. It had been on her wrist at first, but then she had taken it off and put her hair up and taken it down at least a million times as she and Alex had talked and spent time together. It was just another one of the small things she did, such as talking with her hands, that Alex remembered and loved about her. Lost in thought, he heard someone come in the door.

"And we are sitting in the dark why?" It was Cristina, carrying two bags full of odd-looking, random items.

"What you got, bag lady?" Alex leaned over and cut on the lamp that sat beside the couch on top of medical journals.

"You won't even believe the good shit I found at the dollar store. Do you know how many things I can buy for a dollar? Unbelievable," Cristina said, plopping down beside him on the couch, dumping her bags out on the coffee table.

Then she paused, a grossed-out look on her face. "You and Izzie just humped like bunnies on this couch, didn't you?"

"So? My couch. Whatever," Alex said, leaning forward to dig through the things she had dumped on the table.

Cristina stood up and then sat herself down on the floor in front of the couch and between the table, rummaging through her things. "You have a bed. This is public domain."

"Whatever. We didn't make it that far, get over it," he said, shrugging, "and I have to put up with listening to you and Hunt knock the headboard against the wall and I don't say shit."

Cristina sat cross-legged, still rummaging through the items. "Hmm, you have a point, Karev." She turned to him, offering him an extremely large jumbo pencil with an oversized eraser and a butterfly pattern on it. "For your troubles."

Alex scoffed. "Get the hell outta here with that."

Cristina now shrugged, laying the butterfly pencil back on the table. "Your loss."

She then proceeded to point out more items in the pile, and Alex sat with her, mocking her purchases and stealing and eating pieces of candy he found in the pile. The cloud nine that he found himself on may come crashing down at any time, but for now, he was going to hold on to it for as long as he could.


	14. Do You or Don't You?

**Chapter 14: Do You or Don't You?  
**

"He wasn't breathing when he came in the E.R. and the EMTs had already checked for breath sounds and that was over 20 minutes ago, it's just a miracle! I can't believe-"

"Kepner, put a lid on it, will you? The kid's gonna stop breathing again 'cause you're sucking all the oxygen out of the room," Alex snapped at April, who was in charge of this particular case they were working on.

A little boy, about 9 years old, had been brought in after falling off a ferry boat and into the dark waters of the Bell Harbor. April had talked tirelessly since Alex came in, and this case had her more excited than usual because the little boy had woken up after 20 minutes of unconsciousness. Alex was tired since he was now rotating back to night shift and his mental capacities still hadn't caught up with the clock. Having to listen to April's excited babble was grating on his nerves. He liked her, but sometimes she was better in small doses.

When he had snapped at her, she had given him a dirty look before babbling on to the intern about 'the miracle of life.' Alex had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Kepner had never heard about Meredith's brush with drowning, in which her unconsciousness lasted way longer than 20 minutes, but he didn't want to snap at her again, so he said nothing, instead focusing on the patient.

The little boy was obviously scared, but Alex put a comforting hand on his arm.

"You're gonna be okay now," Alex assured him, "and hey, you know the story about the fish? Little orange fish gets lost, his dad is bummed out, you know the one?"

The little boy nodded. "Finding Nemo?" his little voice croaked.

"Yeah, that's the one. Just imagine Dr. Kepner as a blue fish, and you've got Dory. Kinda," Alex smiled at the little boy, patting his arm. The fear wasn't so present on his face now.

Alex stepped over to April, thinking to himself that maybe an analogy about fish wasn't the best idea of cheering up a little boy who nearly drowned.

"You page Shepherd?"

April looked at him and then sort turned up her nose, looking away. "Yes, Alex. I'm a doctor, too. I know the protocol for people who've been unconscious."

"Yeah, yeah. You're protocol patrol. Whatever," he said dismissively, "so I can go now?"

"By all means," April said sarcastically, handing him the file to sign.

He gave the file back to her and walked over to the E.R. nurses' station.

"Hey, can you page Dr. Avery?"

"Sure," said the nurse at the desk.

The little boy he had just seen on April's near-drowning case seemed to have no problems breathing and his lungs sounded clear. Now Derek just needed to come and check him out in case the deprivation of oxygen had caused any problems in his brain. And if Jackson needed to find him, he would, so he didn't have to stick around and wait for him. Alex then decided he would head upstairs to the Peds wing and check on his patients. He had grown fond of most of the kids who were regulars or had to come back for repeat surgeries, and he often stopped by to check on them if he had time. He had made it inside the elevator when Jackson came clambering in after him.

"You paged?" Jackson asked, a little out of breath.

"Yeah. Kepner needs to get laid."

Jackson stared. "Uh, _what_?"

"You heard me. She's all twitchy. I know you boned the Virgin Mary, so do it again."

"Isn't she like that most of the time?" Jackson asked, not taking the bait.

"Nice way to change the subject, Avery," Alex said, digging his phone out of his pocket.

"Just don't pick on her, you know, she means well," Jackson said, taking up for April.

Alex shrugged, looking through his texts on his phone. He knew Avery and April had something going on, regardless of how oblivious he acted or how far he tried to stay away from other relationships. He couldn't stay out of most hospital relationships anyway. Everyone around that place brought their problems into the hospital, dealt with them in the hospital, sometimes created them in the hospital. It was exhausting for Alex sometimes. One of the reasons he liked living with Cristina is because while she had issues going on, she wouldn't try to push them off on him. She would just buy her bags full of crap and dance around with her iPod. April, on the other hand, kept all her emotions at the forefront even if she was vague on what exactly bothered her. And Alex knew that he would probably be working with her more this week since he didn't really want to - it always happened like that for him. All of her secret Avery crap would make her more annoying than usual.

"So... did Izzie come see you?" Jackson asked.

"Yep," Alex said, not giving anymore information.

"Went that bad, huh?"

Alex looked up from his phone and over at Jackson, his brow creased. "Nah, it went great. I don't waste time walking on eggshells around women."

Jackson shook his head at Alex's dig about walking on eggshells around women. "It's more complicated than that."

"Dude, make it not complicated. Either you like the chick or you don't, or either you wanna bone or you don't. Simple," Alex said.

The elevator reached the Peds floor, and they both stepped out.

"So you didn't want anything except to tell me I should sleep with April?" Jackson asked, getting ready to walk away from Alex.

Alex shrugged. "I guess. I must be losing my freakin' mind. But if Izzie gets the job in Seattle, I'll have to get used to knowing gossip all the time," he finished, smiling a little.

Jackson grinned, leaning forward to clap Alex on the shoulder. "That's the spirit."

He turned and walked down the hallway, and Alex saw his phone light up in his hand out of the corner of his eye. It was a text from Izzie, reading:

_'Mass Gen interview went GREAT. Miss u'_

A little touch of the surreal feeling came over Alex again. He couldn't believe how everything with Izzie had happened in such a quick succession - first he learned of her coming to apply, then seeing her again for the first time in years, then sleeping with her, experiencing feelings for her that he had tried and failed at for years to get over, and now she was updating him on events in her life. There were still doubts and questions and things they needed to discuss, but he remembered what he had said to Jackson, and Alex realized he needed to take his own advice.

Either he wanted Izzie in his life or he didn't.

And he definitely did.


	15. Maps

A/N: Did I tell you guys lately that I love you all? No? Okay, okay, you had to beat it out of me... I love you all! Thanks for reading and reviewing and hope you love reading it as much as I love writing it!

* * *

**Chapter 15: Maps  
**

Izzie walked into her hotel room, lugging two suitcases behind her, and stood in the doorway as she yawned. The door clicked shut behind her, and she jumped a little, turning to give the door a dirty look. She had just flown from Massachusetts and into Texas for her next interview for a potential fellowship in Houston, and she was mentally and physically exhausted. Her interview with Mass Gen had gone exceptionally well, and they had offered her nearly anything she wanted to come and sign a fellowship contract with their hospital. A year ago, even six months ago, she probably would have jumped at the chance to sign such a contract. That kind of deal was something she had been working extremely hard for. But there was one thing missing in Boston, in Houston, in Miami... in everywhere except Seattle. And that was Alex.

Feeling along the wall for a light switch, her fingers touched a knob and she turned it, hoping it would illuminate the dark room. The lights gradually came on, and she blinked, allowing her tired eyes to adjust. She checked the watch on her wrist, and it read 4:39 a.m. She yawned again, kicking her suitcases to the side, and then went and collapsed onto the bed, lying on her back. Her phone fell out of her hand and thudded on the bed. She was used to working crazy hours, and in fact, she even liked the grueling pace that surgeons needed to keep. Working so hard reminded her of everything she had been through, and the reminders made her want to be a better doctor - a better person, even. But flying all around the country while trying to stay fresh and professional for extremely important interviews was something that even the most veteran doctors, and other professionals, had to master. Izzie was still working on mastering that.

Before flying out of Boston, she had sent Alex a text to let him know she was thinking about him. He hadn't replied to her yet, and she wouldn't be surprised if he didn't. He had always been more of a 'in-your-face' kind of guy, so she figured he probably wouldn't have an all-out conversation through text messages. She just wanted him to know he was in her thoughts.

And he had been in her thoughts practically nonstop since she had seen him in the Emerald City Bar. To see him standing in the dimly lit bar, looking dark-eyed and ruggedly handsome, had made her heart race. She always liked to see the positive side of things, to believe the best in every situation, so of course she believed, she _felt__,_ that Alex gave her butterflies. No other man had ever done that for her. When she had been in her darkest moments - watching Denny die, knowing that George had been killed, battling cancer - Alex had almost literally been her knight in shining armor. Or her medical rescue in light blue scrubs, but who was really concerned with correcting her metaphors?

She hadn't meant to want him so much, to make him kiss her, to take off her clothes for him again so soon. But she wanted to see if he was still the good man that she knew - the one who could fill the empty space that she had never quite closed up since leaving Seattle. She touched her lips tenderly, thinking of the night spent with him only a few nights ago. Had she dreamed it, as she had so many times before? If she had known things would have gone as well as they had, she would have looked him up before now.

_"We were stupid. Two kids trying to play house while you were freakin' dying."_

She smiled, thinking of what Alex had said. She didn't think they had been stupid, just in love, and unsure. Unsure of how to get through everything they were going through at the time. When she had gotten pregnant at 15, her mom had told her that she and her then-boyfriend could make it work one day if not right then. 'Sometimes, Cricket, the timing is off,' her mother had said. Izzie had known at 15, just as well as she knew now, that she and her daughter's father never would have made it work, regardless of timing. In her and Alex's case, however, she thought maybe her whimsical mother had been right - the timing had just been off before. Maybe now the timing was right, and Izzie believe that it truly was, or else things wouldn't be falling into place as easily as they were now.

She knew that she had never been in love with anyone as fully as she was with Alex, and she'd be willing to be that Alex had never loved anyone the way he had once loved her. Alex was nowhere near as expressive as she was in terms of talking, but he could look at her in ways that made her feel like she was the only woman for miles. She always used to tease him, telling him he was a painter in another life, because the way he touched her made her feel like he was painting a picture of his love for her. He had told her she was crazy, of course, but she could tell he kind of liked the idea. Like he wanted her to know how much he cared for her and hoped that she knew. She had. And he still made her feel the same.

When she was at Alex's, in Meredith's old house, in _her_ old house, everything had felt completely different and yet it felt exactly the same. Just as Alex had been feeling, she also felt a little of the surreal feeling - like she was part of a double-exposure photograph. One layer of her felt like she was still on the same timeline as she had been when she lived in Seattle, and the other layer of the photograph revealed all of the changes and scars that the new timeline in Seattle held for her. Alex had changed, but not really, not enough that he wasn't still _her _Alex. He had changed enough to want to discuss things with her, she could tell that. She also thought the same of herself.

The last few weeks she had been in Seattle the last time, she had lost practically all of her ideals. She had always been so sunny and optimistic, but to have her fiancé-to-be, her best friend, and nearly her life, ripped away from her all around the same time had taken a toll on her optimism. Alex, her husband, being afraid to touch her had broken her even worse. She had come through all that darkness a little stronger, but also a little less ready to accept everything with such a sunny disposition. But she had gradually learned to get her positive outlook back, but now she was more realistic. So, just as Alex had changed and grown up a bit, so had she.

But Alex had asked her about the tragedies that had happened at the hospital, and she couldn't bring herself to tell him that she had been there not long after it happened. Of course she remembered the shooting. She had come as quickly as she could to Seattle after the news of all the violence. She had wanted to see if everyone she loved was okay. Alex. Meredith. Cristina. Bailey. Webber. Shepherd. All of them. But she hadn't been able to bring herself to search out of all them and check on them because she had seen Alex and Lexie walking out of the hospital together. They hadn't looked exactly happy - if a relationship expert had examined their stances, they would have said it wasn't looking good for the couple - but Izzie knew trauma tended have to have that effect on people. But Izzie had seen what she needed to see. Alex had signed the divorce papers and was moving on.

She had no way of knowing that _she_ was the one Alex called out for when he got shot.

At that moment, sitting in her Jeep in the misty Seattle rain while watching Alex and Lexie leave that haunted place, she had decided to go somewhere where she could have a fresh start. Somewhere warm and sunny. 'Melanoma be damned,' she had thought. Where Alex was an afterthought and cancer couldn't possibly exist in the warm sunlight. She had begun to associate her cancer with the dampness of Seattle, almost like a fungus that coats old dead wood. And Chehalis was no better - Chehalis had been nothing but a barren wasteland of tired old trailers and secret tears and crushed dreams for as long as she could remember.

Like a little girl, she had gone home and put a map of the United States on the wall (upside down and rotated differently, of course, since she knew her geography pretty well). She closed her eyes and stuck a pin on a spot on the map until it hit a really sunny spot, and the first state she stuck a pin in that had plenty of sunshine would be her new destination. With the map upside down and in a different position and her eyes closed, her pin had stuck in the waters off Cuba. She didn't bat an eyelash before she decided on Florida, thinking that the waters off Cuba were close enough for her. And so she had packed up her life and made the transition from the top, damp corner of the U.S. to the bottom, sunny corner on the opposite coast. Afterward, she had thought it was childish, but it had still been effective. Florida had been the place where she became healthy again. Became happy again. Became Izzie again.

The only downer in her first few weeks in Miami was that a piece of mail came to her new address that had her labeled as _Dr. Isobel Stevens-Karev_. She didn't know why it had said that because she hadn't even signed any paperwork before their divorce to attach his last name to hers, but it had stung her just the same. When she left Seattle, she had left Alex stuck with all her medical bills, but then she had quickly made a couple of phone calls with her insurance company and Dr. Swinder in Seattle and everything had been fixed. But she knew Alex had probably been pissed about having to deal with all of it - even for a short time. That piece of mail had been a reminder of that. And Miami was supposed to be Alex-free. Cancer-free.

Miami eventually became cancer-free, but while she was able to push most thoughts of him from her mind, it truly never became Alex-free. She figured no matter where she went, he would always be with her, so she just dealt with it.

Then, as she began to drift off to sleep in her hotel room in Houston, lost in sleepy thoughts about Alex and Miami, she heard her phone make a noise with a text notification. She sat up, looking to where the phone had fallen from her hand when she had collapsed onto the bed, and checked her texts. Her phone read:

**Alex (5:26 a.m.)  
**_Miss u too_

Izzie read it and smiled, turning on an alarm, and then casting her phone aside. She knew now she would sleep soundly until time to rouse herself for her next interview.


	16. What If?

**Chapter 16: What If?  
**

After sleeping a good 9 hours, through a whole span of daylight, Alex awoke at 6 p.m. in order to be fresh for the night rotation which started in an hour. He got up and walked into the kitchen, eying a box of pizza that Cristina had left on the counter. Flipping open the box, he saw that Cristina had just eaten the toppings and nibbled the crusts off all but 4 slices of the pizza. He discovered new and weird things about her every day, and he wasn't exactly sure how to feel about them...

He gobbled up three slices of the pizza and then threw the box, still containing the nibbled pieces, into the sink. Izzie had been right - Cristina didn't care about cleanliness in the slightest. And Alex didn't either. He really kind of liked the idea that he could live with a female who didn't care if they _both_ lived like frat boys. It was comforting to him in a way. He had decided that all chicks were crazy, but some were a good crazy.

After washing the pizza down with a glass of milk, which he had been shocked to see in the fridge, he checked his cell to see if Izzie had sent him a text yet. An email. Called him. Anything. She hadn't, and he wondered what she was doing, how she was doing, in Houston. He kept checking his phone while he walked to the hospital as if something would magically appear in between the times he had last checked.

Still preoccupied with his phone, he walked through the electronic doors of the hospital when he felt a small stir in the air as if someone had walked up and stopped in front of him. Looking away from his phone, he saw that Dr. Bailey was standing in front of him. And she looked angry.

"Alex Karev, don't you walk into this hospital like you own the place and tell me that Stevens, _Izzie_ Stevens, has been here. Been with _you_, from what I gather, and neither one of you thought to tell Dr. Miranda Bailey. The _same_ Dr. Miranda Bailey who raised you fool babies and watched you cut L-VAD wires and operate in stalled elevators-"

"That wasn't me, that was Geo-"

"Dr. _Karev_, don't you dare interrupt me when I am trying to lecture you. I am trying to tell you that I am angry, very _angry_, that my own babies, my own set of interns that I raised and tried to teach wrong from right, did the _WRONG_ thing and did not tell me that one of my own babies came back to Seattle. That better not be true, Dr. Karev."

She stood with her hands on her hips, glaring up at Alex. He just stared down at her.

Alex opened his mouth, almost telling her it wasn't true. "Uh, she-"

Bailey shook her head and waggled her finger at him. "No, sir. _No,_ sir. Don't you make excuses for that woman. She is a grown woman, and you are a grown man, and the two of you just breezed on by Dr. Bailey. Didn't even think about little old Dr. Bailey who nurtured you fools into the surgeons you are now. You tell _Dr. _Stevens that she better not put one _toe _in Seattle again if she doesn't come and see me."

Dr. Bailey turned to walk away from Alex, and then she whipped back around and glared up at him again.

"And you, _Dr. _Karev, you knew better, too," she said, then finally turned to walk away. "Let the woman come in this hospital and didn't even see me..." she mumbled to herself as she walked away from him.

Alex's face was furrowed in annoyance. He hated lectures from Bailey. But at the same time, he felt a bit amused that she was so riled up about something like this. He also felt a little surge of pride in a way. Dr. Bailey thought enough of Izzie to get this riled up over her, and that was saying something. He remembered the clinic had been their thing, and Izzie had always loved Dr. Bailey. He also remembered that she and Izzie had some big secret going on at one point, but he never figured out quite what that was. O'Malley had been in on it, too. At any rate, Izzie had trusted Dr. Bailey and Bailey obviously had never forgotten it. So pride was exactly what he was feeling, he decided.

Turning once again to enter the hospital, Jo was walking toward him on her way out.

"What was that about? In trouble?" She asked, stopping in front of him and smiling a little.

"Nah. Bailey's pissed 'cause Iz didn't look her up before going to her next interview," Alex said, giving her a lopsided grin.

"Ah. Everybody loves her, huh? Isn't she the one who made Dr. Torres get a divorce and start sleeping with-"

Alex felt heat rising in his neck and face as he grew angry at Jo's words. "Yeah, yeah. She banged O'Malley when he was married. Why? I don't know. He was a dweeb. A good dweeb, but whatever," he realized he was off the point, so he shook his head and continued, "but you have no fucking right to come in here and criticize what you don't know shit about. I don't care if you're my best friend or my sister or my mom, you got me? Are we good on that?"

Jo, who had been wearing a little smirk on her face, had quickly lost it and instead replaced it with a look resembling fear. She hadn't yet seen Alex become that angry or defensive, though she had heard others tell her about things he had done in the past. She never expected he would get that angry and defensive with her, but she was obviously wrong. She did feel a little jealousy about the whole Izzie situation - regardless of what she told Alex. Alex might not want or be able to spend as much time with Jo as she wanted him to if his ex-wife came back. But she had misjudged the situation - now knowing that Alex was serious and protective of his ex-wife - no matter what wrongs she had committed in the past.

'As if leaving wasn't enough,' Jo thought, then held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Sorry, I didn't realize this would set you off so much."

"Just go," Alex said, stepping around her.

"Alex-"

"Leave, Wilson," he spat, this time his voice sounding dangerously low. But he kept walking, not turning to look at her, because he didn't want to yell at her again. All he needed was for Izzie to come back to Seattle and hear about him raging at one of the stupid interns - that would really hinder the process of them moving forward. He knew Izzie wanted to believe that he had changed for the better and not for the worse, and he wanted to prove her right.

But Jo had caused a little inkling of doubt to prick at his brain. He had no right to judge anything Izzie had done - he had usually one-upped her in that department. But she had been living in another place for years and Alex didn't know what, or who, she had been doing. To Alex, she seemed to be the same Izzie, but what if she wasn't?


	17. Little Talks

**Chapter 17: Little Talks  
**

Alex, in a state of half-consciousness, was stretched out on his couch and absently flipping through TV channels. He had earlier done two surgeries, both routine and ending with no complications, and other than that, his night had been uneventful. The deadline about the case of the Mexican mother carrying two twins was fast approaching, and he still hadn't really discussed the case with Arizona. He hadn't seen all that much of her in the past few days unless she was rushing past him. He decided he would sleep for a few hours and then try to find her.

His eyes started to drift closed until he heard a knock on his door.

"Who the hell could this be?" he murmured to himself, getting up. No one came to see him at 8:30 in the morning, ever, and Cristina had a key.

When flinging the door open and getting ready to tell the person, most likely a salesman, that he didn't want anything, a blur of blonde came at him full-force.

Izzie.

He barely had time to support her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and threw her long legs around his waist. He put his arms around her and she was kissing him.

"I told you. I missed you. So here I am," she said against his mouth, in between kisses. He felt her hand twirling his hair at the nape of his neck.

"Yeah... I didn't expect to see you so soon," he now said, in between kisses. He backed into the house with her.

"Doesn't really sound like you're thrilled to see me, Alex," Izzie said, breaking the kiss and searching his eyes, trying to decipher what she heard in his voice.

Alex looked right back into her eyes and felt her body shift as she made to untangle herself from him and plant both feet firmly back onto the floor.

"You didn't have to stop kissing me, Iz," Alex said, taking both of her arms into his hands. He tried to pull her against him, but she rocked back on her heels to keep from being tugged toward him. She wasn't smiling, but her eyes gave away that she liked doing these things, playing, with Alex. He pulled her arms again, this time harder, and he made her lose her footing. She stumbled into his arms.

He tilted his head and kissed her again, and she even deepened it, but then she pulled away. Alex wanted more, way more, and tried to kiss her again, but she leaned her head back, wearing a smirk.

"There. That was an excellent, amazing, mind-blowing kiss," she winked at him, pulling him toward the couch, "but something's bothering you. And you didn't react to my grand entrance the way I wanted, so hot sex has to wait."

She stepped away from him and walked to the couch and sat down. Giving him a soft smile, she patted the cushion beside her.

"Sit."

He did as she said, putting his feet up on the table. She swung her legs around and threw them on top of his. He then leaned over and tried again to kiss her, but she shook her head.

"Nooo kisses. We talk," she said softly.

Alex sighed. "Okay, we talk."

He began to absently run a hand gently up and down her thigh, but she smacked him in the arm to make him stop.

"What?" he asked defensively, looking at her.

"I can't think when you're touching me!" she said loudly.

Alex smirked at her and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Anyway... I read about the thing you did with the African kids," she raised her eyebrows, "very impressive. Kind of a kiss-ass thing to do since everybody loves needy kids, but kind-hearted all the same."

Alex nodded his head in exaggeration, as if to tell her to keep showering him with praise. She laughed, pushing him.

"Are we gonna talk about work stuff? 'Cause I could think of a much better way you can use your mouth," Alex said, leaning toward her again. He couldn't help himself. She was like a flame and he was the moth.

She smacked him on top of his head. "Eww, Alex! God! Men, all the same," she scolded him in a joking manner. "I wanna talk to you," she whined a bit.

"Pillow talk?" Alex asked, smirking again, but Izzie shot him a dirty look.

"Okay, alright, we talk."

Alex now tapped his fingers impatiently, almost nervously, on her legs. He wasn't sure if he was ready to really talk.

"So... I've been in Miami for a while. It's been amazing," Izzie started. Alex glanced over at her, and her eyes were honey-colored in the sunlight that streamed in through the living room window. 'Sun two days in a row,' he thought, 'she brought it with her.' Her eyes now had a far-away look, and her mind obviously was thousands of miles away in Miami.

"The hospital is great, and the people are great. There's even a grouchy old surgical nurse there who I won over with my charms," she wiggled her eyebrows, "and banana nut muffins," she finished, grinning.

Alex just nodded, tracing a finger back and forth on a spot just above her knee, and let her talk.

"I was sad at first. Heart-broken. Homesick. I missed you," she said, glancing at him a little self-consciously. "I missed everything. It was all so unfamiliar. But then I loved it. My apartment is great, and like you, I don't have far to go to get to the hospital. And I have, honestly, the best mentor in the world. Dr. Caldwell really believes in me."

'That's her Arizona,' Alex thought.

"So she would be, like, beyond pissed to know that a man is one of the main deciding factors in where I accept my fellowship."

Alex looked up at her, beginning to speak.

"Just hear me out," she stopped him. "I have all this potential. I know it. I'm an amazing surgeon, seriously. Just like you are. And we both deserve the best of everything life can offer us," she sighed, pausing to think.

"I agree-"

"Just let me finish," she said, stopping him from speaking again. "I was engaged, Alex."

Alex bristled, feeling his whole body tense. He didn't want to look at her, so he clenched his jaw and stared at his feet.

"His name is Ryan. He's a good guy. A nice guy. He never put a toe out of line, never raised his voice to me, was always polite. I could have told him to jump and he would have asked me how high."

Alex's feathers were beginning to fall, so to speak. He was none of those things, at least never all at the same time. And so he knew now what her agenda was with him. He had been her bad-boy fling, a test after all, and she would go back to Miami and carry Mr. LoveGood _Ryan_ to wherever she was going to take a job. He started to push her legs off him and go get a beer, but she continued.

"I made myself believe he was good for me, and he was. We could have lead a happy, quiet life, you know? No kids, obviously. I didn't want to bother you with all of that... So I said yes when he asked me to marry him. That's what we're supposed to do, as women, it's the good thing, the right thing."

"Iz, I really don't wanna hear-"

"Shut up. I'm talking!" She snapped, and he settled into the couch again.

"But when I said yes, do you know what I thought? I thought of a wedding. Me in another wedding gown, standing with Ryan, committing my life to him. And then I imagined the part where the guy asks if there are any objections, and it was you. You always stood up to object."

Alex glanced over at her then, and she looked right back at him.

"There wasn't a day that I didn't think about you. On the days I didn't think about you, I would always think, hmm, I didn't think about Alex today! So it defeated the purpose."

Alex searched her eyes and face for any signs that she may just be pulling his chain. She wasn't, he decided. She was looking right back at him with the same intensity, and she smiled softly at him. Alex allowed himself to relax then.

"You said that if I want you, then I can have you," she said as almost a question. Alex nodded once, affirming it.

"There's nothing else I want more than you, Alex. I-" she paused, throwing her hands up in the air, "I don't want to be the next up-and-coming neonatal surgeon if I don't have the next up-and-coming Peds surgeon by my side."

Alex opened his mouth to speak again, and she shook her head, continuing, "You make me absolutely crazy. Seriously. You are frustrating and hardheaded and impossible. Sometimes I think I hate you, and I don't know why I want to put up with a man who makes me feel like I want to explode and fly into a million pieces!" She sighed.

"But you get me. Beyond all of the shit that we've been through, beyond all of that, you know exactly what makes me tick. And I'm not exactly sure if you know that, but you so _do_. You make me laugh. You make me feel like the world is _all _good. Like pain could never exist. Like," Izzie stopped, shaking her head, as if trying to come up with the words, "you're a good man, Alex. You don't let yourself see that or be that most times, but I know it. And deep down, you know it. And I want that in my life."

Now she sat up, leaning forward toward him, and kissed him.

"I don't want a man who is nice and good and loves me because it's what he's supposed to do," Izzie said, looking right into Alex's eyes, "I want a man who loves me, in spite of my flaws, in spite of whatever baggage we have, because we're like... we're supposed to be together. Because he can't get enough of me. Because he feels like he deserves me, and that I deserve him, and no matter what we put each other through, we always wind up together in the end. I want destiny, Alex. And I think you're it."

Alex looked right back at her into her eyes. The surreal feeling was gone. Izzie was here, sitting on his couch, her legs thrown across his. And she was telling him that she wanted to be with him. This was reality. She had broken off an engagement, with a man who sounded like most women would be lucky to have, to be with _him_; she was considering on turning down certain fellowships to be with _him_. And, of course, he had never been an expressive man - his vows to Izzie in their wedding had been spur of the moment, and he still, to this day, didn't know how he had pulled that off - but that was just the effect Izzie had on him. He never fully showed it, but if she ever needed something from him, he would try his damnedest to pull it out of thin air. He loved her. Right there, right then, right now. He loved her.

"You know, you're no piece of cake yourself," Alex said, giving her his little lopsided smirk, and kissed her again. Izzie laughed.

"I know, chicks are crazy, right?" Izzie said, mocking his voice, and then rolled her eyes playfully. "I had cancer. I left you. But I came back. And I'm not broken. I'm not damaged. I'm not gonna flip out on you, well, no more than what you've already seen before," she said, winking at him.

Now Alex laughed. "So you're saying you want to be the crazy chick to end all crazy chicks? Stop the crazy chick train?"

Izzie kissed him again. "That is _exactly_ what I'm saying. We know how to handle each other. It's great. We can make each other crazy."

Alex, kissing her, began to rub her thigh again with the palm of his hand. This time she didn't stop him.

"Best damn idea I've heard lately," Alex said against her mouth, deepening the kiss. He felt Izzie smile.

He had heard what he wanted to hear, so he pushed her back against the couch, his hands going to her hair. They could finish talking later. He wanted to make her crazy in a good way, in a way she had always liked, now.


	18. What a Wicked Game to Play

A/N: FYI, I'm probably going to go back and correct some grammar mistakes that I found during a re-read, but don't worry, I'm not changing anything - just fixing my carelessness! To Julia - I did see the finale, and my heart is broken in more ways than one, but there were also things I loved! I'm probably biased, but I don't feel like Jo has chemistry with Alex or any of the other characters... They've tried to force them together all season. I just don't like her. But I want Alex to be happy, even if it is with Hobo Jo, I guess... At least I can write this and dream, you know, since they are all just characters anyway. Thanks, ALL of you, for reading and reviewing.

* * *

**Chapter 18: What a Wicked Game to Play  
**

Alex and Izzie had made love again on the couch, and this time, Alex hadn't tried to tease her as he had the first time. Sex had always been just sex to Alex, until he had met her. She made it meaningful. This time had been no different. Izzie felt the same about Alex - he knew her body and seemed to be able to touch her in a way that made every nerve ending in her body sizzle. That feeling, and being so in love with him, cemented her belief that he was her soulmate. And since Alex wasn't sure he believed in soulmates, he just knew that he had never wanted anyone as much as he wanted her. Izzie was the first woman who had ever really tried to work with him, to call him on his bullshit. She had once stood in front of him in her old bedroom and repeated over and over to him that she cared about him. And, he was happy to admit to himself, he believed she had never stopped caring.

Izzie was now leaning against the door frame leading into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a bigger t-shirt of Alex's. She had a box of cereal in one hand, picking out and eating nothing but the marshmallows. She was watching Alex step back into his pants, pulling them back up to his waist. Alex looked especially pleased with himself, wearing a smug look as he looked at her. She just let him have his moment of smugness because she had benefited from it with an amazing orgasm. She had even been a little louder than normal, and she knew he was really pleased with himself about that. He was now staring at her legs, looking at the contrast between the light colored t-shirt riding high on her tanned thigh. She noticed, so she posed sexily, still holding the cereal box.

He grinned, swaggering over to her, and tried to snatch the cereal box from her. She abandoned her sexy pose and tugged the cereal box away from him, laughing a little as she popped more marshmallows in her mouth. He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her sloppily all over her face and neck. She threw her head back in laughter, trying to clamber away from him. Her grip loosened on the cereal box and he snatched it from her.

"I win," he said, grinning and digging through the box for more marshmallows.

"You cheated! _So _dirty," she said, pouting in exaggeration.

Still grinning, he stepped around her to head into the kitchen and smacked her ass as he went by.

"You ass! I will bite you," she wheeled around to give him a fake glare.

"Do it. I'll like it," he said, shrugging. He then proceeded to sit the cereal box on the bar and began to rummage through the fridge.

Eying the messy state of kitchen, Izzie had a disgusted look on her face, thinking.

"You do have a bed, don't you?" Izzie asked, half-joking but also a little skeptical. They had now had sex on the couch multiple times, and she was just a little worried. With the state of the house, she wondered if Alex and Cristina were capable of maintaining a house for an extended period of time. But they seemed to work well, living together, so Izzie had no complaints. She was glad that Cristina and Meredith had embraced Alex as much as they had in her absence.

Alex, standing up from digging through the fridge, held two beers. "Yeah. Of course I do. You would rather climb the walls in it next time?"

"_Oookay_, let's not get too full of ourselves here," Izzie said, rolling her eyes.

"What? I'm that good. Admit it. I'm irresistible. Hot. Hot Dr. Badass," he smirked at her, opening a beer for her.

"Whatever, Alex. But you are pretty hot," she grinned, taking the beer from him. She smiled before taking a sip. "Do you know how long it's been since I've had a beer this early in the morning?"

Alex stepped right up to her, and she put her arms over his shoulders, her beer bottle hanging loosely behind him from one of her hands. He put his hands on her waist.

"Beer is like water around this place," he shrugged, "and you're definitely hot."

He licked his lips, leaning in for a kiss. Her lips met his, and he kissed her slowly and passionately. She felt his hands creep from her waistline, down over her hips, underneath the hem of her shirt, to grip her naked ass. He picked her up, and swung her quickly around to the island in the middle of the kitchen. She landed hard against the surface. Beer bottles went clanging and sliding across it, falling everywhere. The one she held in her hand dropped to the floor and sent beer flying all over Alex's pants and up onto Izzie's legs, but neither one of them noticed or cared.

Izzie then gripped both sides of his face, still kissing him passionately. Her tongue explored the inside of his mouth, and he lightly bit it, as a homage to when she earlier said she would bite him. Now she smirked against his mouth, then ran her hand slowly down his chest and abs and down to the bulge that had appeared in his pants. She traced the outline of his erection lightly with a fingertip, and Alex groaned a little, ripping her shirt over her head.

"Hmm, apparently I'm irresistible, too," she whispered seductively in his ear, running her tongue over his earlobe and then nibbling it. She massaged his bulging erection through his pants, feeling the heat radiating off him. He didn't say anything, but he had a devilish shine in his eyes.

Alex stepped closer to the counter, in between her legs, and put her legs around his waist. He then put his hands on her legs, and he ran his hands up her thighs, her hips, her stomach, her breasts, and back down again. Her nipples were little pink points, and she shivered as he stopped to drag his thumb across one. He kissed her neck, tracing his tongue along her collarbone. He ran his tongue down her breast, stopping right before coming to her nipple. Her breath quickened, and she skillfully worked his zipper down on his pants to work her hand inside to touch him.

His mouth hovered over her breast without touching it, and as soon as she had gotten her hand inside his pants, he shoved her backwards against the surface of the counter. Her blonde hair spread out over the surface behind her. He backed away from her a bit, leaning down to plant small kisses on her legs. He traced his tongue up her thigh slowly, then put small kisses on the inside of her thighs. She was practically writhing beneath him in anticipation, and she let out a small moan. Alex smirked, standing straight up now, looking down at her.

"I will kill you," she said breathlessly, and sat up, pushing him away from her. 'Two can play that game,' she thought.

She hopped down from the counter and freed his erection through the zipper opening in his pants. She gripped his cock, and he grew fully hard then at her touch. She bent down and flicked her tongue over the head of his erection. Alex groaned, wrapping his fingers in her hair. She then took him fully into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the shaft. He grunted slightly, and Izzie gently moved him in and out of her mouth, stopping again the lick the head. He then shoved her hard, pushing her back far enough so he could pick her up and carry her.

He quickly walked to the couch and threw her onto it, falling on top of her and kissing her. She pushed him backwards and made him sit up, and she straddled his hips. He still had on his pants, but she positioned herself over him and let herself slide down onto him anyway. She gasped when he was fully inside her. She let out a moan as he thrust upward into her, and she put her hands on his shoulders, rolling her hips onto him. Both of them now breathed heavily, and Izzie threw her head back in unbridled pleasure, still rolling her hips against him. He thrust harder into her, gripping her hips. He watched her breasts bounce with her motions and felt himself coming closer to a hot release.

Izzie now wrapped her arms around his neck and crushed her lips to his, making small moans in a quick succession against his mouth. She already felt the warm, tingling feeling of an orgasm beginning to bloom in her lower abdomen, so she moved her hips quicker and rougher against Alex's. She felt the orgasm spread throughout her lower body, and she curled her toes, kneading her fingers into Alex's shoulders as she came, repeating his name over and over longingly and breathlessly in his ear. She trembled all over. Alex, driven over the edge by her breath in his ear, gave a few more quick thrusts and then let himself succumb to his own orgasm.

He let his head fall back against the couch, still breathing heavily. Izzie, still straddling him, pushed her sweaty hair out of her face by dragging her fingers through it. Alex watched her while trying to catch his breath.

"You're beautiful, Iz," he said, still out of breath. He ran his hands up and down her hips and sides, admiring her body.

She gave him her bright smile, placing her hands on his chest.

"I love you," she said, searching his eyes with hers.

"Are you sure you love me or just what I do to you?" Alex said, his lopsided smile returning to his face.

"What a question," she said, pecking his lips, "obviously both. We still have a bed to break in. And rooms to christen."

Alex grinned. "You just might kill me."

"You're a big boy, _Mr. 'I'm so hot, I'm that good, admit it.'_ You can handle it." Izzie said, beginning to push herself off him because her legs felt like they were made of putty. She needed to stand up.

"Hey," Alex said, holding onto her hips in order to keep her from getting up, "I love you, too." He then took his hands away from her hips, allowing her to stand up.

Izzie's bright smile was then on her face again, and she lifted herself off him, taking a ponytail holder from her wrist. She quickly threw her blonde hair into a messy bun and then, naked, walked on wobbly legs into the kitchen to retrieve the big t-shirt she had on before. She turned around to look at him before she went into the kitchen, and Alex couldn't read what expression was on her face.

His was pure contentment. He had his girl back.


	19. No News is Good News

**Chapter 19: No News is Good News  
**

Alex was completely happy that he had gotten to spend the whole day with Izzie. Clothes had been optional, and laughter had been abundant. Alex couldn't remember the last time he had laughed so much or so freely. He found Izzie completely and utterly breathtaking in her beauty and her sex appeal, but she was also intriguing to him because she was, after all, a tad bit neurotic. But she could be goofy and cheesy, and he loved it.

They had taken a shower together, and while being silly and giving Alex a shampoo mohawk, Izzie had exclaimed, "This is like the honeymoon we never had!" And in a way, it was. The good thing about their relationship in the past is that they could enjoy each other's company at anywhere or anytime. They were both glad not to have lost that quality even with all the years spent apart.

And Izzie hadn't meant to tell him that she loved him again so soon, but she had felt it so strongly, it just came spilling out. When you never stop loving someone, the words don't restrain themselves. Human nature and fear, insecurity, keeps people from revealing genuine feelings sometimes, but Izzie had felt it genuinely. And she had been surprised that Alex said it back so soon. Even if he was feeling something, he usually held it back, guarded it, because he was so used to getting hurt. Izzie didn't know if any of those old traits were still present in him, would eventually come creeping to the surface, but she didn't care. She would deal with it. Anything for him.

Alex had been paged into the hospital about an hour early for an emergency case with April, and she could tell he hadn't been thrilled about it. But Izzie liked the fact that April, who had previously been fired, was now back at the hospital. That gave Izzie hope for herself. But she still hadn't even decided whether or not Seattle was the best choice for her career. Mass Gen had expressed extreme interest in her, and she had strongly considered accepting the position on the spot. If not for wondering if she could truly rekindle things with Alex, she would have. She wanted to talk to him about that, too.

After Alex had left, she had climbed into his bed and snuggled down into the sheets. His bed was extremely comfy, and the sheets smelled like him. Izzie, worn out from traveling across the country and her romps with Alex, instantly felt at home. Safe. Able to relax. Freshly clean and surrounded by the scent of Alex, she had instantly fallen into a deep sleep.

She woke up the next morning, around 5 a.m. Her body had trained itself not to require much sleep, since a knock to an on-call room door or the angry sound of a pager usually disrupted any semblance of sleep she desired, but traveling always made her sleep longer than normal. She woke slowly, knowing that Alex wouldn't be in until after 7 a.m. - barring he had no other cases. She glanced around at his room, and she wanted badly to fold the clothes scattered in the floor, but she resisted the urge. She and Alex may have started something extremely intense between them, whatever it may be, but it was still too soon to start hen-pecking at his things. Especially in his bedroom.

She then remembered the mess they had made in the kitchen earlier, scattering beer bottles and spilling their contents, and she decided to clean that up. Plus, she wanted to wipe down the counter anyway. When she had lived there before, she wouldn't have liked knowing that Meredith's or Cristina's naked body had been on it, so if she cleaned it, then her conscious would be clear. She had fallen asleep in just her panties, so she searched out her bra and threw on the t-shirt she had been wearing when she arrived that morning. She _did_ disturb the clothes in Alex's room, but only to pull on a pair of his sweatpants. Her legs were long enough that she didn't have to roll them up, but they hung low on her waist, so she rolled them over at the waist once to keep them from sagging. She threw hair hair back into a messy bun, feeling contented and rested, and went to survey the damage in the kitchen.

Sighing, she looked around the kitchen. Dried, yet sticky looking puddles of beer shone in the glare of the overhead lights. Bottles lay everywhere - in the floor, some teetering on the edge of the island where Alex had sat her - and then there were those on the counter by the sink that hadn't been touched.

"Oh my _god_, you messy, grungy people," she mumbled to herself.

She knew that Alex would probably fuss at her for cleaning, would tell her they'd get to it eventually, but she couldn't control herself. She wouldn't be able stand living like that, and seeing a kitchen she had once lived in and loved, in such disarray made her crazy. And when she made up her mind to do something, she did it, so she began to search for a mop, garbage bags, and anything else that may help her in her mission. She would be more surprised if she found all of those in this house, instead of if she didn't, she decided.

* * *

To her surprise, she had found most of what she needed to clean up the kitchen. The cleaning supplies were in random places, granted - under the couch, mostly - but at least they were there. She had wiped down the counters, bagged up all the bottles to go out to the trash, and she was almost done mopping the floor when she heard someone come in the door. The sky was still dark outside, but there was a light-tinged quality to the horizon, the way it looks right before the sun began to rise. She figured it was around 6 a.m. Surely, Alex hadn't finished his rotation early...

"Alex?" Izzie called hesitantly, still mopping.

"I smell cleaning chemicals. Am I in the right house?" a voice answered her. Cristina's. Izzie heard her approaching.

"How are you so brilliant and yet let yourself live like a slob? Personality disorder?" Izzie asked, looking up at Cristina when she stepped into the door way.

"I don't have to clean when Alex's little sex slave will do it all for me," Cristina said, walking around where Izzie was mopping to sit at the bar, "does he only let you out of the shackles at night?"

Izzie held back laughter, rolling her eyes. "I'm just saying, you know you like coming home to a house and not a smelly dorm room."

"Meh," Cristina said, opening a honey bun that she held in her hand, "what if we were decorating with glass bottles and you killed the decor?" She took a bite of the honey bun.

Izzie snorted. "Seriously, Cristina? _Seriously_? I didn't kill your vibe, I enhanced it."

Cristina stopped chewing her honey bun. "'Killed your vibe?' Izzie, did you live in the hood in Miami?"

"Yes, in fact, I did. I've been carrying a glock and bustin' caps in bitches who cross me," Izzie said sarcastically, throwing a gang sign.

"Disturbing," Cristina said, shaking her head and taking another bite of her snack. "It's kind of nice to have you back, though."

"Aww, Cristina you _love_ me-"

"No, I have someone to talk down to make fun of again, so thank you for that," Cristina gave Izzie a fake smile.

Izzie laughed. "I _so_ hate you."

"Good," Cristina answered, giving Izzie a small, but real smile now. "Has Buffy called you concerning your position here?"

"Buffy?"

"Um, yeah. Jackson. You know, Buffy the Woman Slayer instead of Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Cristina said matter-of-factly.

Izzie laughed. "Oh my god, that is _amazing_! He is buff for sure," Izzie said, beaming.

"Don't tell him I said that. He's all sensitive about his beauty," Cristina said, finishing off her honey bun, and giving Izzie a look of disbelief about Jackson's sensitivity.

"What? He needs to embrace it. Use it for good," Izzie said, still mopping, "if he uses it for evil, then you know, he needs to be taken out. Nooo heart breakers allowed in the hospital now," she finished. She then thought of Mark, in all his days of womanizing, and then realized she wouldn't see him anymore. She almost wished she hadn't said it.

She continued, "But no, I haven't heard anything. I hope I will soon because I need to let-"

Her phone began to ring from the living room where she had left it on the coffee table.

Izzie quickly leaned the mop against the wall and took off toward the living room.

"Sorry, Cristina, let me get this!" she called, looking at her screen to see who was calling.

It was Jackson.

Izzie answered, "Hey, Jackson. Good morning!" and then awaited to hear the fate of her job in Seattle.


	20. Don't Blink

A/N: Thanks to Happy J! I'd be glad to keep writing. Thanks to all!

* * *

**Chapter 20: Don't Blink  
**

Dr. Webber had come to Alex around 3 in the morning and asked if Alex would cover his cases for him. Reluctantly agreeing, Alex had sent Izzie a text telling her he didn't know when he'd be back. He told her to come to the hospital later if she wanted. He would sit with her outside at the patio tables and eat lunch with her - just like old times. And he would probably try to get her off in a supply closet if she would let him. The image of her, lying naked on the island in the kitchen, her blonde hair splayed out behind her, wouldn't leave his thoughts. He had years and years of pent-up fantasies about her that he could now bring to life. He hadn't been kidding - she might actually kill him.

Trying to clear his mind before it started relaying messages to his penis, he shook his head and flipped open the case file Arizona had given him. There was a lag in between surgeries because one of Bailey's had encountered complications and took a little longer than normal. Alex checked his watch, and it said 9:42 a.m. He had to scrub in and do one of Webber's surgeries at 11 a.m., but until then, he was going to sit in the conference room to keep the interns from bothering him.

Just as he had cleared all sexual images from his mind and delved back into the case, Arizona came bursting in through the door. She was breathing heavily and was still clutching the doorknob, looking at the floor.

"Dude, what's after you?" Alex asked, turning toward her.

"I'm a terrible person, Alex," she said, still not looking at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked, standing up.

Arizona burst into tears and went to Alex, putting her arms around him.

Alex was completely thrown off, but he allowed her to cry in his arms anyway.

"What's your deal, Robbins?" he asked softly.

He felt her hands clutching at the back of his scrub top, in a manner that people who are desperately sad tend to want to clutch onto something while crying.

"Is Sofia-"

When Alex had mentioned Sofia's name, Arizona had let out a garbled wail.

'Oh, shit. Something's happened to Sofia,' Alex thought. He hugged Arizona a little tighter at this, and she sobbed.

"I didn't even think about Sofia, Karev. Didn't even-" she sobbed. Alex could barely understand her because she was so distraught. A million scenarios played out in Alex's head. Sofia had drowned. Like the case he had seen in the E.R. a few days before, Arizona had somehow run over Sofia. He didn't know what it could possibly be.

Arizona composed herself a little, then looked up at Alex with red, swollen eyes.

"I cheated on my wife," Arizona stated, this time her voice was barely no more than a whisper.

Alex's first feelings were instant relief. At least Sofia was fine. But then Alex felt a little anger. The person he had modeled his career after, who he looked up to, had just admitted to him something that he didn't want to know. He didn't want his ideas of her tarnished, and here she was, admitting to doing stupid things.

He didn't say anything. He just allowed her to cry in his arms. Izzie had taught him a lot about himself, but Izzie had also taught him a lot about women. He had learned over the years that if he would just shut up and allow Arizona to compose herself a bit, then she would eventually talk to him about it. That was the reason she had sought him out in the first place - if she didn't want to talk to him, she would have kept her tears to herself.

Arizona let go of Alex and backed away from him, throwing herself into the chair he had been sitting in. Alex glanced down at his scrub top, wondering how much of her snot she had dribbled onto it, but then just let it go and pulled out the chair beside her. Sitting down, he leaned closer to her.

"You okay?" He asked gently.

She sniffled, wiping her eyes. She then took both hands and placed them around the thigh of her prosthetic leg, tugging slightly.

"This. Fucking. THING!" Arizona yelled angrily, slamming her hand down on the prosthetic leg. The small gush of wind sent the papers in Alex's case file fluttering, and then the room seemed eerily quiet after her loud yell.

"Calm down. You're gonna hurt your hand-"

"Karev, I don't care! I do NOT care! All this time I've watched you walk around on your two good legs that you, YOU, still have because you were a coward," Arizona snapped in a rush, "a coward who couldn't man up and fly on a PLANE! And then I watch you some more, walking around with no worries at all, joking with my wife... My own WIFE who conspired with YOU to cut off my. Fucking. LEG! It's your fault! And Callie's fault! I'm just so MAD at you both, Alex! I wouldn't have cheated on her under different circumstances."

Alex tensed, feeling guilt and anger at the same time. He thought that he and Arizona had gotten through this - that she had worked out the fact that she would have died if she hadn't had her leg amputated. Apparently, he had been wrong. But he knew that Arizona's angry bitterness had still been below the surface. He knew that because that had made them alike, in a way. He knew about bitter and angry. And he looked up to her.

She pounded another fist on the table, and looked right at Alex to continue her rant, but Alex jumped up in anger. His chair went flying to the side, and Arizona flinched a little when Alex got in her face.

"You still don't get it, do you? It was your leg or your life, Robbins. Your freakin' _leg _or your _life_! You lived. People died, do you get that? Cutting off legs wouldn't have saved them. And you're having a damn pity party for yourself _now_? After you get to _live_ with your wife and your kid? You want me to feel sorry for you and say I'm sorry because you got on a plane and I didn't? Hell no, Arizona. I'm not gonna pity you. You have to learn how to walk on a prosthetic leg, so what? Get the _fuck _over it. You're alive. You have a wife. You have a kid. And now you're blaming everybody else that you spread your legs for somebody else besides your wife? That's bullshit," Alex had lectured her in an angry rush.

Arizona shook her head, anger apparent on her face, as she looked up at Alex. "Oh, but it makes you think you can talk to me that way? Did you forget I'm your boss?"

"You came in here looking for a friend! Not a freakin' colleague!" Alex yelled at her, throwing his arms out at his sides. His face was screwed up in anger at her denial. Then he sighed.

"You're the female me," he said, under his breath, and then went to retrieve the chair he had knocked out of the way.

"_What_?"

"You're me," Alex said, louder now. He stood the chair back upright and sat down. "If I were a chick. You're all pissed off at the world, blaming everybody else for your shit, shit that you put yourself in."

To his surprise, Arizona burst out laughing. "That's original. I'm the female Karev."

Alex's one-sided smile appeared on his face in spite of himself.

"Shut up. You know what I mean. No one forced you to sleep with the other chick. You did it because you're all messed up inside about other shit. I know because I did it to my wife."

Alex instantly remembered when he had slept with Lexie after Izzie's weird goodbye letter and sudden disappearance. Alex had hated real and true communication back then, and hadn't wanted to talk things over with Izzie, but he had called her and called her, to no avail. He had mostly threatened her about coming back to take her IL-2 treatments, but underneath all that was his want, his need, to have her come back to him. She hadn't answered his calls. Hadn't bothered to call him back. He had even talked to Izzie's wacky mom, and he thought the lady was completely batty. He never would have talked to her unless he absolutely needed to. So instead, he made Lexie his excuse, his distraction, to keep him from calling Izzie more than he should. He hadn't wanted to appear desperate, so if she _did_ come back, he wanted her to hurt the way she had hurt him.

"You're not married- oh, Izzie. Right," Arizona said, looking at him with a slightly puzzled look, "and what makes me madder right now is that you're completely right. I'm pissed about this leg and I shouldn't be. And Callie has done nothing but try to help me, and I took it out on her. I'm terrible, Alex."

Arizona had calmed from anger, but now she was cycling back to sadness.

"Nah. I've cheated on Izzie more than once. I don't know if that makes me or her the idiot," Alex said, then shook his head, not wanting to think of it that way, "but if you really love Torres the way I love Izzie, it'll work out. Just talk to her," he finished.

He didn't know where all of these sudden realizations about him and Izzie were coming from, but he felt the need to tell her that he realized he had been an idiot in the past. Everything right now was happening so fast and intense, and he wanted to slow it down a little. Build on it. Work out issues. Izzie would like that. He hoped the sex wouldn't slow down at the moment, though.

Arizona sighed, wiping tears again. "You're right. And I heard Izzie was back. So I take it you're working things out with her?"

Alex's text message notifications had gone off while Arizona was talking, so he checked them and saw that they were from Izzie.

"Yeah, it's going pretty-"

He stopped talking when he comprehended what the messages said:

**Izzie (10:12 a.m.)  
**_Gonna wait for u here  
_

**Izzie (10:1****2**** a.m.)**  
_Didn't get the job  
_

Alex felt like he wanted to eat his words. He was now mad at the world.


	21. Memories

A/N: I just want to say that y'all really know how to make a girl feel special! Thank all of you so much! I'm in the process of moving, so updates may not be as quick as before for a little while. But I'll definitely keep them coming!

* * *

**Chapter 21: Memories  
**

Alex had stormed out of the conference room, leaving Arizona puzzled and calling after him. Interns and patients alike scattered out of his path as he walked. His jaw was set and his eyes were narrowed in anger. He threw on his lab coat, which he had snatched from the back of Arizona's chair when he stormed out, and the sides of it billowed behind him as he walked.

Dr. Bailey, who was standing in front of a portable medicine cabinet, was keying in her entry code to the cabinet when she saw Alex storming her way down the hall. She knew that look - everybody who knew Alex knew that look.

"Karev! You better slow that race car down," she said as she stepped in front of him, "there won't be any ass kicking on my watch. Not today," she finished, still blocking him.

"Dr. Bailey, I'm not being disrespectful, but _move_," Alex growled, trying to go around her. She blocked him again.

"Karev, you are working my nerve, trying my patience, and wasting my time. You know you're already on my list 'cause you're hiding Izzie away and now you wanna up and-"

"Izzie didn't get hired! She didn't get the job," Alex interrupted her with exasperation.

Bailey looked like she wanted to tear into him again because he interrupted her, but then she softened.

"And do you really think me letting you go after Jackson is going to help?"

"Yeah, it would help me kick his ass," he growled.

"Uh, Karev! That'll help _you_, maybe, but it sure won't help _Izzie's_ case if you go around whoopin' up on the _figurehead_ of the hospital. On the _son_ of the Harper-Avery foundation," she said, looking at him in disbelief. She knew Alex had a rough upbringing, but she sometimes wondered how he had dodged prison with his habit of wanting to throw fists.

Alex relaxed a little, shaking his head quickly in annoyed agreement.

"Yeah, yeah. So what then, I just walk in there and calmly ask why the hell Izzie didn't get hired?"

Dr. Bailey threw her hands up in a "duh" gesture and then turned back to finish entering her key code into the medicine cabinet.

Alex took off to his original destination, but this time he wasn't so angry.

"I better not hear that you hit that man, Dr. Karev!" Bailey called out to his back.

Alex kept walking.

* * *

Izzie sat on the bottom stair in Alex's house, holding her head in her hands. She looked down at her bare, tanned feet and didn't really have any thoughts in her mind. Maybe she felt disbelief or disappointment, but she was blocking everything out of her mind. Blocking all feelings. She didn't want to cry. Not now, sitting in her old house, in Alex's new house, where she had finally started to pick up the pieces of her life with him.

Sighing, she looked up at her surroundings. There was a creaky floorboard in between the living room and the front door, and she remembered bouncing back and forth on it one night when Derek and Meredith wouldn't stop laughing in their upstairs bedroom. Her plan hadn't worked.

The chandelier above the dining room table once had a pair of George's underwear hanging off them for who knows how long. Everyone knew the kitchen and the bathroom were communal areas, so they didn't use the dining room all that often. They had all laughed at George when he realized that the piece of cloth hanging in the air belonged to him, and Izzie could still remember how scarlet his face turned with embarrassment. They had never figured out who had done it or why.

She thought of her old bedroom, girlish and pink, and how she had complained about not wanting to go to work one morning. Alex had come in and tried to pull her out of bed by her feet. They hadn't even been together then, but he had clearly been flirting with her.

This house held some of her best memories, but it also held some of her worst.

Lying in the bathroom floor, numb about Denny.

Sitting outside on the porch swing, feeling gloomy after making an ass of herself by helping to ruin Callie's and George's marriage, wondering how she had ever gotten to a point in her life where she had no one.

Watching Alex parade girl after girl through his bedroom like a revolving door when all she wanted him to say was that he wanted _her_.

But she loved this house. The mixture of good and bad memories are what make a house a home. Behind these walls, she had learned things about herself. Made mistakes. Made love. And now she was back in it - back in the city where she had first become a surgeon and back where she questioned if she truly wanted to be a surgeon or not - and her mind was once again trying not to go to a desolate place.

Maybe things had been going too well. She was one of the only residents in recent history to be considered for a fellowship before passing their oral boards. She had plenty of world-class surgeons rooting for her. She had great interviews with some of the top-ranking hospitals in the nation. Alex had told her he loved her again.

Maybe the universe was just trying to keep a balance or something. She still had the opportunity to work with an amazing staff at Mass Gen, so she was grateful. And maybe Alex would still tell her he loved her even if she flew across the country. Maybe they could make it work. She wanted it, needed it, to be true after everything she, that they, had been through.

She started to push herself up from the stairs when Alex came bursting through the door, breathing heavily but looking bright-eyed. He looked as if he was going to call out for her as he looked around, but then he locked eyes with her when he saw her on the stair.

"I know what to do, Iz," he said excitedly.

A grin broke out on his face.

"I know what to do."


	22. It's Your Ticket

A/N: Waaah! Moving sucks. I'd rather be writing! My apologies for leaving you guys hanging for longer than I expected. Hopefully everything will slow down soon. I'm writing whenever I'm not busy, so I'll try to update again soon. Or soon-ish! As always, thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing, and hope you guys are still enjoying!

* * *

**Chapter 22: It's Your Ticket  
**

While looking for Jackson, Alex had repeated, 'she can't leave, she can't leave, she can't leave,' over and over again in his mind. He didn't even realize his mind was repeating on that loop, but with every thud of his angry-sounding step, the words kept time. Dr. Bailey had calmed him down, but he was still furious with Jackson for not hiring Izzie. He knew that she had probably worried about this interview more than any other. She had a past here - had made mistakes here. Had almost died here. And now she was being denied a chance to, not erase, but to begin reconciling her past with her future. Alex had hoped she would be hired here, and she could begin that reconciliation process. Not only with her job, but with him. Even though she hadn't been back in Seattle long, Alex was too invested in her now. He couldn't have her disappear out of his life again with uncertainty about their future between them. And he felt that Jackson had probably caused a great deal of uncertainty.

Alex's anger built up again as he searched for Jackson. He even began to look in irrational places: supply closets, empty stairwells, linen closets. He burst into conference rooms and even one patient room because he thought he had seen Avery go into one. He strode into the cafeteria, giving it a quick scan, and just as he decided he would just page the guy, he saw Avery talking to April in the lunch line.

Alex lunged in their direction, almost bulldozing a fellow doctor down.

"Dude, what the hell is your deal?" Alex spat, stepping right up behind Jackson.

Both Jackson and April turned around, and Jackson looked completely bewildered. He had no idea what Alex was talking about.

"Uh-"

"Who, exactly, told you it was polite to cut all these people in line and to disturb us just because you're having one of your mad fits?" April interrupted Jackson in a rush. Jackson cocked an eyebrow at her, internally agreeing with what she said. He and Alex had developed a sort of camaraderie over the years, and Jackson knew all too well that Alex could fly off the handle. He didn't provoke him most times; on the other hand, April usually did.

"Get lost, Kepner. Your boyfriend here-"

"Whoa, whoa. Back off, Alex. Your beef is obviously with me, not with her," Jackson interrupted Alex as April's eyes flickered over to Jackson at the 'boyfriend' remark.

She then glared at Alex, shoving her lunch tray into his abdomen, nodded to Jackson, and then turned and marched away from the two men.

Alex barely had time to keep the tray from falling to the floor, and an apple fell off, rolling and bouncing against the foot of another doctor.

"What's flown up your dress tail, man?" Jackson asked tentatively while moving down the line and paying for his lunch.

"You didn't give Izzie the damn job," Alex replied through gritted teeth.

Sighing, Jackson nodded in the direction of a table. "Bring your tray. Let's talk about it."

"I don't wanna. I just wanna beat your face to a pulp then go tell her that she's hired," Alex said, slapping money down for the tray April had forced onto him and then reluctantly followed Jackson to the table.

They sat down, and Alex looked at his tray. A salad. A side of baby carrots. A few grapes.

"What the hell? Your chick is a rabbit, dude," he said, swiping a Jackson's french fries.

Jackson slid his tray from Alex's reach, ignoring his comments.

"I'm disappointed we couldn't hire her, Alex. Really. She's done wonders for the reputation of her hospital in Miami. She's got high-profile surgeons praising her left and right," Jackson paused, popping fries into his mouth, "but it comes down to a budget issue. A doctor with her talent costs money. Lots and lots of money," Jackson finished, still chewing.

"What happened to 'you gotta spend money to make money?' You mean the freakin' Harper-Avery foundation doesn't wanna shell out a couple of hundred G's to hire a potential world-class surgeon?" Alex spat angrily, driving a carrot around on the tray with his finger.

"Where's Webber? He'll know what to do to get her hired," Alex said, moving to get up.

"Webber doesn't have the final say, Karev, I do," Jackson said firmly. He was tired of everyone questioning his leadership capabilities, and he wanted to earn respect. Respect that Alex would never easily give.

"Damn it, Avery! Change your freakin' mind, dude!" Alex yelled at him, his neck and face turning red with anger. Everyone momentarily turned to look at the two men.

About that time, Arizona rushed into the cafeteria, seeing Alex tensed and red in the face, glowering over Avery.

"Alex! What happened to you? You rushed out so quick. To kill Avery?" Arizona said, after rushing to their table, half confused and half amused.

She threw her and Alex's case file down on the table in front of him.

A light bulb came on in Alex's head. Snatching it up, he literally ran out of the cafeteria.

Arizona and Jackson looked after him.

"Should we have him committed?" Arizona asked, still confused.

"Yep," Jackson said, throwing more fries into his mouth and nodding.

* * *

Alex was aware that he would soon have to scrub in on Webber's surgery since he had taken all of Webber's cases. He felt himself push his muscles to the limit as he hurdled out of the hospital, through the parking lot, toward his home. Toward Izzie.

Sometimes, even though Alex felt confident about his job and his talents, the darker, more wounded side of him tried to clamber out from the depths and make him second-guess his decisions. Made him wonder if he diagnosed a patient correctly. If he used the proper technique in a surgery. Made him wonder if the other doctors of the hospital respected him enough. He knew he let his temper get out of control sometimes, but he didn't think that affected his talents as a doctor. He wondered if everyone else saw it that way, too.

But at other times, Alex didn't allow for those insecure thoughts to creep into his mind. He didn't have to think - he just acted. And it felt sure. Steady. Right. Trusting his instincts had always saved him from trouble. This is why he clashed with Kepner a lot. Other than the fact that he thought she could sometimes be overbearingly annoying, she always wanted to follow protocol. She never let herself lose any sense of the word control. Alex was the exact opposite. Sometimes he didn't question - sometimes he just threw protocol out the window and acted.

That feeling of surety in his instincts is what surged through him as he threw open the door of his home. He was bright-eyed and excited in his vision because he was basically flying by the seat of his pants, but he felt that his idea would work. He didn't see Izzie in the living room or the kitchen, but then he eyed her on the bottom of the stairs. Her brown eyes met his, and he instantly saw on her face that she was sad, but she quickly tried to wear her bright smile for him.

"I know what to do, Iz," he said excitedly.

A grin broke out on his face.

"I know what to do."

He rushed toward her and gently pulled her up from the stairs by one arm, kissing her quickly. She felt tense against him, but he didn't care.

"Izzie, look, I have an idea. All you-"

"Alex," Izzie said softly, trying to stop him.

"Have to do is just listen, okay? Just listen to me," Alex continued in a rush.

"Alex," she said again.

Alex shook his head dismissively. "Let me get this out. My mind is going ninety miles an hour-"

"Alex!" She yelled forcefully, grabbing him by his chin so he would look at her.

He looked at her, his jaw set. Not in anger, but so his idea wouldn't burst out of his mouth while she clearly wanted him to listen to her first.

"If I take the job at Mass Gen..." she trailed off, letting go of his chin and letting her hand fall to rest on his chest, "if I take it, where would that leave us?" She finished quietly.

Alex felt his shoulders drop. She was thinking of leaving? Not even fighting for her place in Seattle now? He backed away from her, turning away from her.

"You're just gonna give up? You're gonna walk out on this? On me?" He asked softly. He didn't want to get angry with her, but it was right under the surface.

Alex heard her sigh, and she stepped up behind him, wrapping her arms around him. She rested her chin on his shoulder. Alex wanted to pull away from her, hoping to maybe hurt her feelings, but he didn't. It felt too nice to have her draped around him - obviously concerned for him, concerned for _them_ - regardless of what his internal struggle was.

"I'm not walking out on you again, Alex," she said gently, "there's no place for me here. I can't-"

She paused, thinking, and Alex felt her sigh deeply. Struggling with words.

"You know, I questioned being a surgeon for a while. I hated walking into this hospital. Any hospital. I felt like it was taking away everything that makes me who I am," she continued, "but then I realized being a surgeon isn't taking away who I am. It's _part_ of me. It's part of what makes me who I am. I'm good at it. And I can't face another rejection. Especially here. If I didn't get the job, then I just didn't get it."

She tightened her arms around him, whispering, "Come with me, Alex."

"Come with me to Mass Gen. They'll be lucky to have you. We can _rock_ the East Coast like no other! We can work on us. On a life. If that's what you want," she said, this time a little louder.

This time Alex was the one that sighed. He did pull himself away from her this time, but only so he could turn to face her. He put both hands on her waist and looked down, unsure of what to say. Then he looked up at her.

"I've never had a family, Iz. I mean, you know, I did, but not a good one. You know my history. All the crap in my past," he shook his head, "this place is what fixed that for me. Seattle's my home. It's where my family is. Meredith. Even Cristina, to an extent. I would have liked to start a new life, a new family, here with you once. This hospital - it's full of shit and pain, yeah, but it's what makes me who I am. I don't know if I can leave it yet," Alex finished truthfully.

Izzie tenderly placed a hand on one side of his face, glad that he was opening up to her. "Well, then. We'll just... we'll see what we can do."

Alex nodded.

"If Mass Gen is really what you want, then I'll let you go. I won't give you crap about it. And we'll make it work, or whatever. But I don't want you to leave me, Iz. Please don't leave me. Not again," Alex said softly, and she leaned her forehead against his.

They were both hurt by the situation life had placed them in - wondering why they, opposites in personalities, had to also be pitted against each other in terms of lifestyle as well. Their relationship, from the beginning, had always been intense and volatile, and now that they were adults - adults trying to work things out - life still hadn't cut them a break yet.

"Just do one thing for me," Alex said.

Izzie straightened so she could look at him again. "Of course."

Stepping away from her a little, Alex held out the file he had brought with him from the hospital. She took it, flipping it open. The sticky-note with 'KAREV, STUDY!' written on it fluttered to the floor.

"What is it?" Izzie asked, thumbing through it.

"I think it's your ticket to getting your job back at Grey + Sloan Memorial," Alex said with confidence.

Izzie looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed.

He continued, "This pregnant Mexican chick is coming in soon. Pro-bono surgery. It's a big deal. She's gonna have twin boys. They have plenty of things wrong with them, and they're gonna need multiple surgeries. I'm on it. So is Robbins and Shepherd," he tapped the file in her hands with an index finger, "and you could be, too. A well-respected neonatal surgeon doing pro-bono work with the country's best neuro surgeon and the two Peds surgeons responsible for the African-kid program? C'mon," Alex shrugged, clearly proud of his idea.

"If this doesn't get you your job back, then this place doesn't deserve either one of us. If this doesn't work," he said, tapping the file again, "I'm gonna tell them that there's not a place for me here if there's not a place for you, too."

Izzie grinned, and her sadness melted away in that moment.

"Hmm, that Alex Karev is a smart man," she said, leaning in for a kiss.

"You better believe it, baby," he said, winking, and kissed her.

His pager started beeping.

"Damn. Webber's surgery. I gotta go," he said, quickly pecking her lips again, and then rushed for the door.

"Just think about it, Iz!" He yelled while exiting.

Smiling, Izzie found herself walking toward the couch, glancing at the case file in her hand. She plopped down into the cushions and began to immerse herself in it. It might just work.

_Everything_ just might work.


	23. Paradise Circus

**Chapter 23: Paradise Circus  
**

While taking a break from reading over the case file Alex had given her, Izzie had fixed lunch for herself. She even made sure there were enough leftovers for both Alex and Cristina. She contemplated going to buy groceries for them, but she could practically hear Cristina's 'mother hen' comments, so she refrained for that moment. She cleaned up after herself in the kitchen, and then plopped back down on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her. She was full and happy, and her mind drifted to a series of potential scenarios for the case.

She didn't get her hopes too high. She might not even be granted surgical privileges, but she could dream. All of her traveling for her interviews had kept her out of an O.R., and she really wanted, _needed_, to cut. Doing an amazing surgery before sitting for her oral boards would make her feel better about life in general.

And that was saying something because Alex had already tried to cover all of those bases. To her, he had done it better than she could have ever dreamed.

When she first met Alex, he caught her eye because he was handsome, of course, but she was also a new girl in a new city, and he looked like fun. Trouble but fun. He even made Hank, her hockey-player boyfriend at the time, completely disappear from her thoughts.

Then she wised up, remembering Hank and discounting Alex as a run-of-the-mill bad boy.

She had been right on two counts. Wrong on the other. Alex _was_ trouble. Alex _was_ fun. But he was not your average heartbreaker. He was complex. Loyal to those who showed him the same courtesy but guarded all at the same time. She knew he was interested in her from the beginning. All his school-boy, mean spirited taunts cemented that. She tried her hardest not to like him, to not be intrigued by his complexities, but all of her attempts were to no avail. It didn't take her long to fall for hot-headed, complex, caring Alex Karev.

It also didn't take her very long to have him pegged in his little faux-niche. He had a temper, liked being foul-mouthed and crass, but in his eyes was a kindness that Izzie knew was his core. He sauntered around the hospital with the walk and the talk of someone who was used to being hurt, being disappointed, and they hid the good part of themselves behind a wall. A camouflage. She had seen it in Chehalis; she recognized it in Alex. Life may harden good people, may add a bitter edge to them, but if they're strong, it never breaks them. Alex would never be broken.

She liked that about him. All her life, she had wanted to fix things. Tidy them up. Make them presentable. And Alex Karev was a definite fixer-upper. When they became involved, she gave up trying to change him. Instead, she began to try and coax out the best parts of him. She wanted everyone else to see in him what she saw. Sometimes, she felt she had succeeded, and other times, she wanted to throw her hands up and say good riddance. He was stubborn, sure, but Izzie had called his bluff. She didn't want to give up on him.

As they became more and more involved and their feelings about each other intensified, she realized she had sold him short again.

She thought she had him pretty well pegged, and she did in a way, but he never stopped surprising her.

His latest act of trying to keep her in Seattle was one of those moments. Izzie liked to think about things, to calculate her next move. She could also be spontaneous, of course, but never about things like her career. Alex, though, he was the best one to consult when thinking on one's feet was concerned. And he had proven it to her again this morning. She had been temporarily lost, wondering if she should pack her life back up and head back to Miami or start anew in Massachusetts. Having to choose either option and dealing with an uncertain future with Alex was weighing heavily on her mind. But then he had swooped in, with a twinkle in his eye and an idea thrumming in his thoughts, with a potential solution. That was yet another one of the many reasons she loved him. She knew him, and he still managed to surprise her.

It was now well into the afternoon, and Izzie had familiarized herself with the case enough for now. She knew because she had grown fidgety, looking out the window at the weak sunlight. Clouds were rolling in. Even though she had once associated Seattle with her cancer, she didn't feel that way anymore. Pre-cancer, she hadn't minded the constant misty Seattle rain. The only qualm she had about it was its constant barrage of frizz on her hair. She had quickly gotten over that since she had to keep it up most times anyway. Now that she had a strong hold in Miami, she knew she could plan a sunny vacation if need be. She had thought that regardless of whether or not she started a life in Seattle or Boston. She had liked Houston well enough, too. The people were all friendly, but she felt she would have rather gone back to Miami if she was going to stay in the southern U.S. And now that she knew she'd have Alex either way, she could be content in any upheaval she was going to experience. She might feel down sometimes - but never out.

With boredom setting in, she decided she'd go to the hospital. She was sure someone would be available to talk with. If not, she'd wander around Seattle and see just what had changed in her absence.

When she arrived at the hospital, she swung by the coffee cart and bought herself a coffee. She saw Jackson heading to the elevator, so, coffee in hand, she rushed to him. Jackson saw her coming, and she noticed that he seemed to guard himself a bit, as if she were going to light into him. Puzzled, she wondered if Alex had caused a scene. Then she pushed it from her mind. She didn't have any hard feelings toward Jackson. He had been kind to her; he was just doing his job.

"Jackson, hey!"

He visibly brightened when he realized she wasn't going to tear into him.

"Izzie, hey yourself," he said, smiling at her, and let her enter the elevator before him. "You're not taking this hard, are you?"

"Oh, no. I mean, I wanted to at first, but I get that you're doing what you have to do," she said, smiling brightly at him. "Plus, Alex seems to have an idea up his sleeve."

Jackson chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, whatever it is, I hope it doesn't make me look like a fool. Everybody's already expecting me to fail, you know?"

She smiled again, empathizing with him. "If all goes as planned, then I'll make sure it doesn't."

He gave her another smile now, and she could tell he wondered what the plan was. "Come talk to me about it if you need to," he said as the elevator doors opened. "I'd like to hear about this idea. I have a surgery to get to, but I'll be around later."

"Seriously, Avery?" She asked sarcastically, letting him know he would be in on it. "Of course I will. Go rock your surgery!"

He winked, leaving her on the elevator.

She stepped off, too, looking around. She saw a familiar short, dark head of hair bobbing down the hall and she began beaming as she went after the person.

"Dr. Bailey!"

The short woman turned around, annoyed at first at being stopped, then she saw who it was and gave Izzie a big smile.

"Izzie _Stevens_. Get over here and give me a hug. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about little old me," Bailey said, beaming.

Izzie gladly went forward and gave her her requested hug. Dr. Bailey had always been one of her favorite people. Strict and tough - but she was really like a big teddy bear. Well, a small one. Either way.

"Now don't go thinking I'm showing favoritism," Bailey said, giving the taller woman a tight and motherly hug, "but I am _glad_ to see you. You okay?"

Real concern was in her voice. Izzie smiled, stepping away from her.

"Yeah, of course! I've been in Miami. I'm cancer-free. And Alex thinks he can get me hired here after I've been turned down anyway," Izzie shrugged, rolling her eyes to the side, signaling that she wasn't one hundred percent sold on the plan, but she was beyond hopeful about it.

"Uh, you think I don't know where you've been? I've been hearing great things about you on the surgical grapevine. It makes me proud that one of my babies went out into the world and is _conquering_ the damn thang," she said, laughing a little. "And tell me what he has planned. I know you two have a connection that leaves the rest of us whirling around like a tornado, and that man loves you, but lord, he wants to do irrational things when you come around."

Izzie was a little surprised that Bailey had mentioned their personal life at all. She usually didn't want to let on that she knew more than she did, but she always did. Dr. Bailey knew everything.

Izzie told her about the case, and Bailey looked excited.

"Girl, you better get on _that_! We need some Izzie pep around here with all this mess about the hospital trying to right itself. I will help you any way I can, you know that, don't you?"

"Always, Dr. Bailey." Izzie gave her another bright smile.

Dr. Bailey nodded with a smile, touching Izzie's arm softly, before turning to head in the direction she had previously been going.

She then turned around, walking backwards to say something else to Izzie.

"Just be sure you have all of that 'oh, let me cut this L-VAD wire' outta your system," Bailey said, laughing a little.

"Funny, Dr. Bailey. Hilarious!" Izzie said sarcastically, and then smiled as she took a sip of coffee.

'Seattle _can_ work, Seattle _can_ work,' Izzie thought.

She thought it with happiness.

She thought it with hope.


	24. Nobody Knows Where They Might End Up

A/N: Big thank you to Jen and Chloe! I'm glad you guys enjoy it. I'm enjoying writing it so much. Is it wrong that I felt a little happiness when I thought the tree fell on Jo in the finale? Yes? Oh well, haha. Big thanks to everyone else as well - as always, thank ALL of you for reading!

* * *

**Chapter 24: Nobody Knows Where They Might End Up  
**

The surgery that Alex had covered for Webber had gone routinely, without a hitch, and he was feeling optimistic. He wanted to find Arizona and Derek and fill them in on his plan. He figured getting them on board would be easier to persuade Jackson into giving Izzie surgical priveleges. He thought that trying to jump down Avery's throat hadn't been a good way to start it off, but Avery knew how Alex was. He could corner him over a beer and lay it out for him after Robbins's and Shepherd's approval.

He went in search of Arizona first, but he discovered she had gone home. He wouldn't bother her since he knew, or hoped, she was working on things with Callie. He liked them together. It was good for both of them, and it was always good for him to see relationships that he respected make it through hurdles. It gave him slight hopes for his own. And now that Izzie was back, he needed that assurance.

He then sought out Derek. He found him coming out from an O.R., looking tired but cheery enough. That was good.

"Hey, Dr. Shepherd, just the man I was looking for."

Derek looked up, nodding cordially at Alex.

"Dr. Karev. The big surgery's coming up. Are you ready?" He asked, beginning to walk down the hall.

Alex fell into step beside him.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

Derek glanced over at him, intrigued.

"What's on your mind?"

"Well, sir," Alex said, knowing Shepherd liked to have his ass kissed, "I wanted your opinion. You know Izzie's back, right? Well, Avery won't hire her. Budget issues. Whatever. But I was thinking we could invite her on as a visiting surgeon, and if everything is successful, he might change his mind."

Derek didn't say anything, thinking, and then he chuckled.

"Oh," he laughed, "oh, that's rich, Karev. Have you talked to Dr. Robbins?" Derek finished, clearly amused but thinking that Karev was clever at the same time.

"Not yet. But I will. What do you think?"

"Honestly, I don't like that we are essentially going over Avery's head, but then again, I do," Derek said, smiling, "but I do think it's a great addition to have Dr. Stevens on the case. She's certainly capable."

He stopped, clapping a friendly hand on Alex's shoulder. "I like it. Talk to Arizona, then let me know the plan of attack." He grinned, then continued down the hall.

Alex felt pure excitement. 'One down, two to go,' he thought.

* * *

Alex continued down the hallway, half-wishing Arizona would appear out of thin air, after he talked to Derek. He rounded the corner of the hallway, nearly barreling into another person, and the person stabbed a finger into his chest angrily.

Callie.

"Torres, what the-"

"Did you tell my wife it was okay to cheat?"

"What? I can't handle all this chick drama," Alex said, trying to quickly move around Callie.

She blocked him with an arm and then poked him in the chest again.

"You're definitely gonna deal with it. You put yourself in my relationship-"

"What the hell is this? Arizona came to me-"

"Oh! So you _did_ tell her it was okay to cheat? That I would just take her back, no questions asked, no doubts?" Callie said with anger, but tears were welling up in her eyes.

Alex knew then what was happening. Arizona had apparently blindsided Callie, not only with her actions but also with her words, and somehow he had gotten in the middle of it. If the two women had really talked about things, Callie wouldn't be here now. She needed someone to say the things to that she hadn't been able to say to Arizona at the time. Alex just wished it wasn't him. He didn't need anyone pricking his strange little balloon of happiness - it was something he didn't often feel genuinely. And yet here Callie stood, an invisible needle in her hand.

'This new, thinking me sucks,' Alex thought, sighing.

He wanted to be defensive with Callie, but she was on the brink of crying.

"All I said was that if you two, you know, really love each other, then it'll work out," Alex said, shrugging.

"You're just a bottomless pit of advice, Karev," Callie said sarcastically, and she opened her mouth to continue, but Alex interrupted her.

"Yeah, yeah. Look, I've met my sad chick quota today. Since when did I become the freakin' relationship whisperer anyway? You wanna bitch at someone? Go find Arizona. And tell her to come find me when you're done with her. I gotta ask her about the case," Alex said, shaking his head in disgust.

"Jesus. I have trouble dealing with one woman, so I don't wanna even imagine the shitstorm that two women can throw at each other," he finished, this time in disbelief.

Callie still looked angry, but Alex could tell she found a little humor in what he had said. And he hadn't even tried to be humorous - he was serious.

"You bastard," Callie said, backing away from him. She sniffed and straightened her lab coat, trying to compose herself.

Callie liked Alex because he was so truthful. Blunt. Sometimes his mouth got him into trouble, but his heart was usually in the right place. She had slept with him once, and she would have never considered him boyfriend material (even before she discovered she preferred women), but she sometimes caught glimpses of what Izzie wanted everyone to see in him. The reason why he and Meredith were such close friends. Why Cristina was capable of living with him. And why Arizona believed in him and confided in him. Callie's past with Izzie wasn't great, but she hoped for Alex's sake that things worked out between them. She could tell, even through Alex's harshness, that he hoped the same for her and Arizona.

"I'll tell _her_ you're looking for her," Callie said, not able to say Arizona's name.

Alex nodded, and internally cringed when, over Callie's shoulder, he saw Arizona running toward them.

"Alex! I've been paging you!" Arizona yelled, out of breath, making a wide path around Callie.

The two women glanced at one another without looking at each other, and the tension between them was palpable. Alex, on the other hand, was studying his pager.

"Damn. Battery's dead. But I-"

"Give it to Callie. She'll charge it for you," Arizona said, still trying to catch her breath.

Callie scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Excuse you?"

Arizona snatched the pager from Alex's hand and offered it to Callie, still not looking at her.

"No time. We have to get back to O.R. 1," Arizona said quickly, grabbing Alex by the arm and giving Callie the pager in one fast motion.

"What's going on?" Alex asked, confused, but letting himself be pulled by Arizona.

"Meredith and her baby are in trouble," Arizona said sternly.

Behind them, Callie's hand flew to her mouth in surprise, and then she rushed to charge Alex's pager so she could get to the gallery and check on them.

"What the hell?" Alex asked, fear in his voice. Meredith was like a sister to him. They understood each other, and she had been there for him throughout the years. He couldn't lose her.

He broke into a run, this time pulling Arizona after him.

"Is Webber in there? Bailey?" Alex asked, almost frantically, as they ran to the operating room.

"No. Izzie is," Arizona said behind him, "Derek would have no one else. She makes sure Meredith lives. We make sure the baby lives."

Alex's heart pounded even harder at these words, and his mind was totally blank when he and Arizona burst through the door to the scrub room.

Izzie looked up from the sink, over the top of her surgical mask, and her eyes crinkled at the corners. Alex knew her bright smile was behind that mask.  
Arizona brushed past him to begin her scrub prep.

"Well, just don't stand there! Scrub in! We're in this together, no matter what, right?" Izzie said, cordially enough but with a strictness in her tone. Alex momentarily wondered if her question had a double meaning as he began to scrub.

"We're gonna save them both. We can do this," Izzie said firmly, nodding to both Arizona and Alex, before walking out of the scrub room and into the O.R. where a nurse would place gloves on her.

Alex watched her through the glass, and though he wanted to feel anxiety about the task at hand, he instead felt reassurance.

His girl was in there, and he and Arizona were to follow.

They were going to deliver a baby and save Meredith.

They were going to kick ass.


	25. Scars and Souvenirs

A/N: Thank all of you guys so so much for sticking with this story!

* * *

**Chapter 25: Scars and Souvenirs**

During stressful surgeries, Izzie always tried to keep her composure. Doing this had been difficult in the beginning. Everyone knew she had inappropriate responses to stressors. She laughed at funerals. She made Alex have sex with her during a bomb scare. She overreacted sometimes. She knew that about herself, and so the challenge of difficult surgeries had been teaching herself to reign in her fear. To merge all those fight-or-flight, cortosol and adrenaline inducing feelings from surging through her. She needed to stay calm, cool, and collected. And she had learned how to do just that.

But seeing Meredith sprawled out on an operating table, her belly big and pregnant, with Derek's worried eyes watching from the gallery above, made her want to lose her composure.

Almost.

She was instantly reminded of the ferry boat accident they had all worked on together - the one where Meredith had almost drowned. And Izzie had told them all that she believed in the good in life. She had to believe in it. And she still did. She had meant what she said to Alex and Arizona. They could do this. They could save Meredith and her baby.

Izzie sighed, not realizing it, as the nurse placed gloves on her. She also remembered when she had wanted to compete with Cristina for Cardio. Izzie had been younger then, and she had been even more full of hope at that time. That was before life had taught her lessons to harden her and make her more realistic. She had wanted to be Cristina. Unfeeling and a kickass surgeon. And for Izzie, the whole stint on Cardio had been a symbolic thing. Izzie had been in love with the idea that she could operate on and fix the heart. As far as organs went, it had been her favorite. The heart always represented feelings and emotions. It's what she thought of when she imagined the core of a person. The soul. Even though she believed the soul was an essence, not an embodiment of one's major organs, she liked to think the heart could be its representative. A person with a good heart was usually a good person, and she believed in the good. And then Denny had come along, and he had cemented her thoughts on wanting to work in Cardio.

But she realized she had been wrong. Cardio wasn't her thing. OBGYN was her thing. Being an excellent neonatal surgeon - that was something she had never doubted that she could do. Babies came into the world without prejudice, without anything to mar them. Babies were tiny and resilient and came into the world fighting. They wouldn't even remember any surgeries they had to endure. Izzie could give them a fighting chance. She loved that. She loved the hope she saw in the parents, and if they had lost their hope, she tried with every fiber of her being to give hope back to them. As a neonatal surgeon, while the losses were devastating, the successes were monumental and outweighed the losses. This kept Izzie passionate about her job and her patients.

Arizona and Alex then came in quickly, and Izzie glanced back up to the gallery at Derek. She wanted to give him hope, and words wouldn't do it. She had to save his wife and his child. And she would.

"You need me to tell Shepherd to go somewhere else?" Alex asked softly when he saw Izzie glance up at the gallery.

She shook her head. "No. You know he needs to see this," Izzie said, turning to him, "and Alex, she's gonna be fine."

She could see the worry in Alex's eyes, and it touched her. Alex had called Meredith his family earlier, and Izzie had felt a swelling of happiness. She also felt a little pang of sadness and guilt because she had missed out on so many years of 'family time.' Now she would have to work her way back in. But she believed, hoped, she was making a good start on mending things with all her old friends.

"What happened, Dr. Stevens?" Arizona asked, moving to the opposite side of the table.

"Derek said she was in daycare with Zola, bent over to pick her up, and she just collapsed," Izzie said, checking her stats monitor, "she's stable, but the baby has bradycardia."

This meant the baby's heart rate was too low, and that meant trouble.

"Bradycardia? She didn't rupture her uterine wall, did she?" Arizona asked.

"No. I did a pelvic exam, and there's been an umbilical cord prolapse. We have to deliver this baby now," Izzie said, looking to the scrub nurse, "10 blade," she said, holding out her hand for the scalpel.

At Izzie's words of 'umbilical cord prolapse,' Alex had scrambled to the fetal monitor, and Arizona had shifted the overhead light so they could see just what they were dealing with when they opened up Meredith's womb. An umbilical cord prolapse meant that the baby had become tangled in its own umbilical cord, and if not solved in a timely manner, the infant would quickly deprive itself of oxygen. Izzie had seen it before in births where the baby was breeched. Many stillborn births were a result of an umbilical cord prolapse. But none of that was happening here. Not today in Izzie Stevens's O.R.

"Her B.P. is starting to climb," Arizona said as Izzie opened Meredith up.

The monitors signaled that Arizona was right, so Izzie said nothing, just trying to work as quickly and efficiently as possible.

"And the baby, Dr. Karev?" Izzie asked.

"Heart rate still low. Hurry, Iz."

"I'm Dr. Stevens in the O.R.," Izzie bantered to him without looking up.

She was now in the womb, and she saw that the baby's umbilical cord was tightly coiled around its neck and one of its feet. She cut away at it, thinking that she was glad that Meredith had fainted, or else they never would have known about this problem.

"Okay, we're introducing a MerDer baby into the world! Exciting!" Izzie said genuinely. She just hoped the baby would start breathing when she handed it over to Alex.

Alex stepped forward, ready to take the baby when Izzie handed it over.

"Whoo! A baby boy!" Izzie said excitedly, removing parts of the cord and placing them in a tray, and then lifted up the Derek's and Meredith's baby boy.

Alex reached out for him, and the infant let out a garbled wail. Izzie and Alex glanced at each other over their surgical masks, and both of then were grinning like idiots behind the masks. If Alex could have kissed her in that moment, he would have.

"Healthy lungs on that one. Way to go, Dr. Stevens," Arizona said, and she was smiling behind her mask, too.

The atmosphere up in the gallery was definitely more lighthearted.

"Sooo glad that was caught quickly. Mer is still stable. Do you think we should try to figure out why it happened or do you think the cord was too long?" Izzie asked.

She had seen cases where the cord had been too long, and she had also seen cases where there had been too much amniotic fluid. Sometimes it was just one of those things that happened.

She noticed Arizona wasn't paying attention because she was looking up into the gallery, so Izzie decided just to close Meredith up. She would be fine. Just a standard caesarean section now.

Izzie hadn't noticed what kind of look was registering on Arizona's face while she looked up into the gallery. Arizona had been watching Callie, hoping to meet her eyes for the shared happiness of a newborn's sake, when Lauren - her fling - had walked in the gallery, too.

Arizona's hand trembled slightly, and the scalpel she had been holding toppled from her hand. She struggled to catch it, but it still fell perilously into Meredith's open abdomen. No blood spurted, but the distressed cry of the monitor signaled something was wrong.

Arizona looked panicked and began scrambling for the scalpel. "I'm sorry! I never-"

"Get out!" Izzie said sternly, getting the scalpel out of Meredith's abdomen.

"I'll-"

"GET OUT!" Izzie yelled at Arizona while looking for the bleeder.

"What happened?" Alex asked from where he was with Meredith's baby boy.

"I don't know. She's got a bleed," Izzie answered, "You! Suction. What's your name?" Izzie had glanced up long enough to see an intern.

"Ross."

"Well, hi, Dr. Ross. Hold that suction steady right there," she said, pointing, "and after I locate the bleeder, you can close. Good?" she finished calmly.

Shane Ross nodded enthusiastically, and Izzie was instantly reminded of a puppy. She and the puppy dog intern - just one bleeder away from the home stretch.

"Got it! Nicked the uterine artery," Izzie said, and she began to repair it.

Alex had just sent baby Shepherd with the NICU nurses, and he could see Arizona standing in the scrub room, tears running down her face. Like Arizona, he had also seen Lauren come into the gallery, but he knew that didn't give Arizona an excuse to be an idiot. He was pissed with her.

With Izzie on the other hand, he felt on top of the world. She had been so composed. He still wanted to kiss her.

"Dr. Stevens, are you done with me here?" he asked.

"Sure thing. Just gonna wait with Dr. Ross here while he closes," she said, winking at Alex.

"Thanks, everybody! We just brought new life into the world, how cool!"

Izzie always said a variation of that after all her successes, and she meant it every time.


	26. Like You Deserve

**Chapter 26: Like You Deserve  
**

Arizona had already left the scrub room when Alex left the O.R. That was just as well. He would have had nothing but angry words to say to her. While discarding his gloves and surgical mask, he watched Izzie through the window as she supervised Ross. She had been amazing. He didn't know if she had been hiding any concerns for Meredith behind a front, but she had handled it better than he would have.

He always had a hard time operating on someone he knew. And it was Meredith, for christ's sake. Amputating Arizona's leg had been bad enough, but if anything had happened to Meredith... To their kid... After everything she and Derek had gone through to have a child of their own... Alex didn't know if he would have been able to stand himself. The guilt would have eaten him alive. But Izzie hadn't looked concerned at all during the surgery. And everything had been fine. Now he was really proud of her, amazed by her, maybe.

When he had told her to leave him all those years ago, he knew she had changed him. Made him want to be his best. And he would be forever grateful for that even if he never saw her again. But now that she was back in his life, he knew he had fooled himself into a false security about her. People like her, ones who come into your life unannounced, with full force - that change you and shake you and bring out the absolute best in you - they didn't come around often. You had to hold on to them as long as possible. And once he had been exposed to that force, he couldn't go back to pretending like she had never made such a huge impact on him. Though he had almost let her slip away once, he knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, that he couldn't let it happen again. Soulmates don't necessarily have to be lovers, they could be your best friend, but he was lucky enough to have found both in one individual.

"Jesus. I gotta get a grip," Alex mumbled to himself while stepping out of the scrub room. He did love the chick, without a doubt, but he had to stop thinking about all that crap or he'd get soft. Or something.

Leaning against the wall, he folded his arms over his chest and waited for Izzie to come out of the O.R.

She soon came out, talking excitedly to Ross.

"Thanks for the opportunity, Dr. Stevens. That was amazing. And I really look up to both Dr. Grey and Dr. Shepherd, but you're definitely my favorite visiting physician so far," Shane blabbered excitedly to Izzie.

Izzie was just nodding, smiling a bit. "You did pretty awesome yourself, Dr. Ross. Just log more hours in the skill lab. Practice makes perfect," she said, giving him her bright smile.

Shane opened his mouth to speak again, but Alex pushed himself off the wall and interrupted him.

"Get lost, Ross."

He stepped to Izzie and pulled her to him.

Izzie laughed slightly as Shane hurried away.

"Alex," she said, scolding him playfully, "you should be nice to him. Do you remember how scared shitless we were as interns?"

Alex grinned, looking right into her eyes.

"Shut up. I don't wanna talk about interns. I'm gonna kiss you, and kiss you like you deserve, because you rocked that freakin' surgery."

He didn't give her a chance to answer before he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her passionately.

Izzie pulled away, licking her lips and tugging at the collar of her scrub top.

"Whew. It got hot in here, didn't it?" She grinned at him before pecking his lips again. "I could get used to ending all my surgeries like this."

In that moment, if she had tried to explain to him in any certain terms about how he made her feel, she would have been at a loss for words. Sometimes words just wouldn't suffice. Still on a surgical high, surprised and elated by his kiss, she wanted him right there, right then.

Alex smirked, shrugging. "I can try to arrange that. You were hot in there. '_I'm Dr. Stevens in the O.R._' Assertive. I like it."

"Always, Dr. Karev," she said, and then grabbed his hand, lowering her voice, "come with me to an on-call room and I'll show you just how assertive I can be."

Alex didn't have to be asked twice, so they fell in step beside one another in the hallway, trying not to look like two horny teenagers even if that's what they felt like.

"Don't you have to talk to Shepherd?" he asked, barely knocking on an on-call room door before throwing it open and letting her enter first, then following her in and closing the door.

Izzie instantly kicked off her shoes, pulled her scrub top over her head, and snatched down her pants.

"That's why we're gonna make this quick," she said, smirking at him, and snatched her ponytail holder from her hair to let her hair fall.

"Uh huh, well save your assertiveness then, Dr. Stevens, and let me handle it," he said gruffly.

Where Izzie was concerned, it didn't take much for her to turn him on. And he knew she was the same way with him, so that turned him on even more that he had that affect on her.

He threw her roughly onto the bottom bunk of the bed and then fell on top of her. He kissed her, parting her lips with his tongue, and massaged his against hers. Izzie moaned softly into his mouth. He had barely even touched her and she was almost writhing beneath him. She hated the fact, but also loved it, that he could make her so crazy with desire.

He moved down to her neck, planting small kisses, and his tongue lapped at her collar bone. His hands roamed her body, and she was hot to the touch.

"Oh my _god_. Take off your pants already," she breathed, whining a little, while clutching at his back and pressing her hips upward into his.

Alex smirked, shaking his head, then moved down her body, kissing and running his tongue along her skin, stopping at the soft skin of her stomach.

He looked up at her, the smirk still present on his face.

"What happened to all that composure, Dr. Stevens?" He asked, his voice low.

She rolled her eyes at him, and then threw her head back against the pillow. He had started licking and kissing at right at the edge of her panties, and she clutched at the sheets in anticipation.

He lifted up her hips with one hand and slipped her panties down her legs with the other, looking up at her while he rubbed his hands slowly up her thighs. He then kissed the inside of her thigh and pulled her further down the bed and closer to him.

He spread her legs and moved between them, flicking his tongue over her slit.

Izzie moaned at his touch, and he responded by pushing his tongue further into her. She was hot and wet and he loved to taste her. He felt her hands go to his hair, and so he worked his mouth up to her clit and flicked the tip of his tongue over it. Izzie cried out, arching her back, and digging her fingers into his shoulder. Alex glanced up at her again, liked seeing her reaction to him, and he slowly pushed a finger inside her, moving it in and out. Izzie moaned, grabbing at the sheets again, and worked her hips against his mouth and fingers.

"Oh, _god_. Faster, Alex," she panted.

Alex worked his fingers faster inside of her and licked and sucked at her clit. She arched her back higher, and Alex felt one of her heels dig into his leg. Her whole body tensed, and she made a quick succession of small noises as he felt her tighten around his fingers as she began to orgasm.

"Oh, _shit_, Alex!" she cried out breathlessly, and he removed his fingers and replaced them with his tongue, lapping at her juices as she came.

Her body relaxed then, and Alex looked up at her, but he could see nothing but her chest heaving up and down and she tried to catch her breath. She had wanted it to be quick, and he wanted to do anything to please her.

Smirking, he sat up, wiping his mouth, and leaned toward her so he could see her face.

"You are amazing," she said, looking up at him, still a little breathless.

She threw her arms up over her head, grinning. "And you make me feel amazing. _A_-_ma_-_zing_."

He grinned back at her. "Not as amazing as you make me feel, no doubt."

She sat up on her elbows, cocking her head at him. She was a little sweaty and and her tanned skin was flushed, her hair was a mess from scrubbing her head on the pillow, but Alex still thought she was beautiful.

"Dr. Karev _is_ Hot Dr. Badass," she said.

He stood up and began collecting her clothes for her and threw them at her.

"What can I say? Dr. Stevens is his equal in that department," he winked at her, watching her put her clothes back on.

She leaned forward and pecked his lips as she worked her feet back into her shoes.

"I love you. I _so_ love you," she said, pushing her hair back from her face and throwing it back into a ponytail, "and not just because you gave me a hot orgasm. But because I have missed you so much, and I didn't even realize how much. I love you," she said again.

His small, crooked smile appeared on his face. "I love you, too, Iz. You won't have to miss me anymore. That's a promise. But it's also okay to love me for giving you hot orgasms," he finished, nodding enthusiastically.

She laughed, pecking his lips again, and then swung open the door, illuminating the dimly lit on-call room with the bright overhead lights from the hallway.

"Wanna come with me to talk to Dr. Shepherd?" she asked, turning to him.

Smiling at her, he nodded.

He'd go with her anywhere.


	27. Merry-Go-Round

A/N: Well, I'm baaack! I apologize for the huge delay between updates... Life unfortunately gets in the way sometimes. I've missed messaging you guys, reading reviews, and most of all, writing this story! I hope I'm not too rusty, and I hope the wait hasn't been so long that you can't even enjoy it now ;) It's been a minute, but as I've said before, I'm not gonna give up on this story! A big thanks to ALL of you!

* * *

**Chapter 27: Merry-Go-Round  
**

Izzie felt like bolting down the hallway in sheer and utter happiness. Like always, she hated and loved the fact that Alex put her on such a high cloud... If she ever tumbled from that cloud, she would be shattered. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. And she knew that. But in that moment, she couldn't dare believe that she and Alex would ever be anywhere but on top of that little cloud of happiness.

She had just completed a high risk surgery on one of her old roommates - one of her old best friends. One of her old bosses, the husband, had watched with weary eyes from the gallery above. And Izzie had worked with her old/new boyfriend ('boyfriend? Can I even call him 'boyfriend" yet?' she thought), and one of his most trusted mentors to deliver a baby. But not just any baby - Derek's and Meredith's first biological child. A baby boy. A healthy, strong-lunged tiny beacon of hope is what the baby represented for Izzie.

If Derek and Meredith - out of all people, with everything they had been through in Seattle, - could stay here and bring a new life into the world there, then Izzie could withstand anything there in Seattle, too. She had already survived losing a fiance, a best friend, a husband, and almost her life, and she still felt like she could do anything. With Alex by her side, she knew it was possible.

While those thoughts thrummed in her mind, she felt Alex reach out and lock his fingers in hers. He glanced at her almost sheepishly, his dark eyes shining. His lopsided little smile played on his lips. Izzie gave his hand a small squeeze as they walked, noting again how right it felt for her hand to be in his as they walked down the hallway. How right she felt beside him.

"Hey, are we a thing now? You know? Going steady?" Izzie asked seriously as they made their way to the nursery.

A grin broke out on Alex's face, and then he quickly cleared his face of all emotion.

"First, you wanna be the chick to end all crazy chicks. Now you ask me if we're going steady. Kinda sounds like you don't wanna share Hot Dr. Badass," Alex replied, smirking.

Izzie slapped him playfully on his arm. "I mean, you know what happens when you _share_ yourself, Alex. I don't think the hospital is ready for another syphilis outbreak."

Alex feigned being hurt, clutching his chest with his free hand. "That stung to the core, Isobel Stevens," he said, then began to tickle her, "how can someone so beautiful be so vicious?"

Izzie threw her head back and laughed loudly, wriggling away from him. "No fair! Using tickling... cheater!"

They stood in front of the double doors of the nursery and laughed while Izzie straightened her lab coat. Alex made a motion to move toward her again when the double doors flung open and Cristina came through them.

"I don't know how much of this I can stand. Babies being born. Love birds flirting in the hallways. And one said love bird is sporting serious sex hair, by the way, so no amount of straightening that coat is going to cover up the dirty that your hair reveals," Cristina said with a matter of fact tone as she pointed up at Izzie's disheveled up-do, "how shameful."

"Shut up, Cristina. You're just mad that you ain't gettin' it like me! What, what!" Izzie exclaimed, dancing around and pushing her hands up to the ceiling in a 'raise the roof' dance.

Alex rolled his eyes, but a smile played about his lips, and he went ahead and pushed through the double doors.

"You even shame your boy toy. Disgusting," Cristina said, shaking her head.

Izzie just smirked and reached out for a high-five.

"Uh, no," Cristina said, dismissing the high-five attempt.

"You're gonna leave me hanging? Seriously? After I just rocked a surgery on your best friend and her newborn baby?" Izzie asked incredulously, folding her arms over her chest. "You're a special kind of evil."

This time, Cristina was the one who smirked. "Why thank you for recognizing my best quality," she said, then laughed maniacally.

Izzie grinned at this. She and Cristina always did have a strange relationship. People who didn't know them well probably thought that they didn't like each other much. And in the beginning, neither one of them had known what to think of each other because they were so totally opposite in personality and stances on patient care and even life philosophies. On some level, there had always been a mutual respect, maybe even a little disdain because of their oppositions. But after Izzie's cancer, their friendship had been sealed. In weirdness, maybe, but there was no doubt that they had a fondness for each other. A fondness for teasing each other, definitely. Izzie had missed little moments like this.

"If you just came back here to show off your surgical skills and gloat, then you can take your gloating back to Miami," Cristina said as her pager began to go off, "there's only enough room here for so much gloating anyway, and that job is mine."

She stepped away from Izzie, then lightly touched the taller woman's arm.

"Thank you for today," she said, then proceeded down the hall.

Izzie just smiled and nodded at Cristina's back as she walked. Praise from the shorter woman was hard to receive, and Izzie hadn't expected to be given any from Cristina. It just cemented the fact that the little messed up merry-go-round in Seattle, though usually broken and spinning wildly out of control, was built on a foundation of family. Cristina and Meredith were family. Alex was a part of that family now. And Izzie desperately wanted to belong as she once had, right in the middle of the whirling craziness that went on in this hospital. Maybe she wouldn't play the same role as she did before, but as long as she still got the chance to audition, she would jump at the chance.

* * *

Izzie made her way through the nursery, looking to see where Alex had gone. If she didn't find him, she would just look for baby Shepherd. Meredith was still most likely in recovery, and Izzie hadn't received a text or a page, so she must be doing well. The only worry that Meredith would have to contend with would be to keep her blood pressure from going too high, other than allowing her stomach to heal from the caesarean section, and she would be good to go.

Baby Shepherd would most likely be going through a round of oxygen for a little while, since his umbilical cord had been tangled around his neck, and then he would be carried to see Meredith if she was out of recovery. Things could have been bad for both mother and baby if the prolapse hadn't been discovered, and Izzie was more than grateful that everything had turned out fine.

She stopped at the supply closet and pulled on one of the yellow cover gowns over her scrubs before she entered the area where all the babies were. Noticing Alex standing by a window with his back to her, she made her way over to him to make a remark about how they all looked like giant baby ducks marching around in yellow, but she stopped short when he turned and she discovered he was holding a baby. She wanted to melt into the floor at the sight.

Of course she _knew_ Alex worked with infants and children of all ages. She had even seen him working with them before she left Seattle. Over the years, she had read articles and studies and research done by Alex or that pertained to Alex, and all of those articles mentioned him and children. Maybe even showed a small picture of him and some kids. So she definitely _knew _that he worked with children.

Maybe it was the fact that he was holding Derek's and Meredith's baby boy, the one that she had just delivered, and maybe it didn't hurt that Alex had rewarded her highly in the on-call room just before, but she couldn't help but to play out a future with Alex and children of _their _own within a matter of about ten seconds.

Izzie had always wanted children. When she had gotten pregnant at fifteen, gave birth at sixteen, she knew she couldn't provide the care that a child really needed. And so she had given up her baby girl for adoption. She had seen her once, years later in this very hospital, when her daughter needed a bone marrow transplant. Izzie had wanted to meet her so badly then, but deep down inside, she knew that even though she was biologically that little girl's mother, she would never be her mother in every other sense of the word. But she still wanted to be a mother one day.

Then Izzie found out about her own cancer, and she had to harvest her own eggs if she were to have any chance of having a child of her own one day. Alex had made sure to fertilize them for her, even though she knew that wasn't the way he would have wanted to make babies with her. He had been willing to do that for her, and after their divorce, she wondered if he would ever give her permission to see if her and his contributions would even make a baby. But Izzie had quickly decided that even though she had always wanted a child of her own, she would never have one if she couldn't raise one with Alex. It hadn't felt right to her - if she were even able to have a baby now after her eggs had set in storage after all these years - she didn't want to use them if she had to raise a child of her's and Alex's with another man. She knew Alex probably wouldn't want another man raising a child of his - just because she knew Alex and knew how his thought process went. Then she realized she didn't want a baby if she couldn't raise it with Alex as its father, and so she abandoned that way of thinking. Alex was her be-all, end-all for so many things, and children were definitely on that list.

Izzie walked toward Alex, noting that he looked so strong and protective while holding the little fragile and vulnerable human in his arms. Yet he seemed gentle at the same time, speaking down to the baby in a soothing voice. Izzie felt herself sigh, watching Alex rock the infant a little in his arms. She felt like a teenager with a crush - her heart wanted to swell to the point of bursting in that moment because she was so filled with love. She shook herself from her reverie, thinking of what taunts Cristina would throw at her had she seen Izzie mooning over Alex and the baby. She had probably been googly-eyed and everything.

Alex noticed her coming toward him and winked at her. "I look pretty good while doing my job, huh?"

Izzie leaned in and kissed Alex's cheek, then ran her hand over the soft crown of the baby's head. "Yes, you do. Aww, Alex, he's adorable!"

The baby yawned, unfurling his little small fingers. Alex shrugged, offering the baby to Izzie.

"Nah. They all look the same to me. Little wrinkled potato-heads," Alex handed off the baby to Izzie, then smiled, "but I guess he's all right as far as little wrinkled dudes go."

"You don't look like a wrinkly potato-head, baby boy, no you don't!" Izzie cooed down to the little infant in a baby voice, then shook her head at Alex. "You're terrible, Dr. Karev."

"And you love me, Dr. Stevens."

"I do, unfortunately," Izzie replied playfully.

"Good. You're supposed to love your boyfriend," Alex said, grinning at her, before turning to check on some of his other tiny patients.

Izzie had grinned back at him, happy that he had answered her question from earlier.

"Do you hear that, baby Shepherd? I have a boyfriend! Granted, he is my ex-boyfriend and ex-husband all wrapped into one, but we won't get into that now, will we?" Izzie said, bouncing the baby gently in her arms.

"Yes, please don't fill my infant son's brain with the insane romantic relationships that form in this hospital. Including his mother's and mine," a voice said from behind Izzie.

She turned around to see Derek beaming.

"Dr. Shepherd! You and Mer did a great job on this little guy. He's too handsome," Izzie said, this time offering his son to him.

"He is a handsome little man. You're right," Derek said, his smile never leaving his face. "Thank you for thinking fast on your feet today, Izzie. I was a wreck. I couldn't imagine if anything happened to Meredith or him..." he trailed off, his eyes never leaving his son's face.

Izzie placed a comforting hand on Derek's arm while nodding. "They're both gonna be fine. He's not even on oxygen anymore. How great is that?! He's a trooper!" she exclaimed excitedly.

The worried expression that had crossed Derek's features now dissipated, and he was beaming again. "My little guy's a trooper, do you hear that?" Derek cooed down to the baby.

"What's his name?"

Derek's brow furrowed, and he looked up at Izzie. "Good question. Meredith never decided."

Izzie smiled.

"Well, let's go find out!"


	28. We Need a Resolution

**Chapter 28: We Need a Resolution  
**

Izzie sent Derek ahead to Meredith's recovery room to see if she was awake. She was feeling excited to learn the name of their baby boy, and the sooner that Meredith was moved to a regular room, the sooner she would be able to find that out. While a room was prepped for Meredith, Izzie could fill out the necessary paperwork on the case.

When she made it to the nurses' station, she flipped open Meredith's case file. Izzie's name was listed as lead doctor, but the parenthetical "visiting surgeon" beside her name made her internally cringe. She hoped Jackson had gotten wind, maybe even seen, her swift actions in the O.R. after Dr. Robbins's had dropped the scalpel into Meredith's open abdomen. Izzie shook her head, recalling that moment, when she saw Alex out of the corner of her eye.

He was waiting for an elevator, a cup of coffee in his hand. She studied the strong features of his face, the outline of his jaw. She still couldn't believe how everything was turning out between them. She had gone from barely being able to look him in the eye in the bar to thinking about having lots of stubborn, dark eyed babies with him. Everything happening between the two of them had been so whirlwind. She couldn't even process all of it.

"So. Sinking your claws back into one of the top PEDS surgeons in the country again?" A sarcastic voice behind Izzie asked.

Izzie turned around to see the dark-haired girl that she had encountered in Alex's house earlier.

Jo.

"I don't know you, but I don't like you. And I think the feeling is mutual, and I couldn't care less. But what is _my _business is _my _business, and Alex is my business. So whatever sob story you gave him to make him take you under his wing, kudos to you, but I have waited a long time to get him back and no little smart-mouthed, sour-faced little intern _bitch _is gonna intimidate me, okay? So back off," Izzie snapped.

Izzie had learned long ago that she didn't want to pit herself against any of her colleagues - especially after the debacle with Callie - but she wasn't going to let another female walk all over her, especially not about Alex.

Jo shrugged, picking up a case file of her own.

"I'm just saying. Everyone knows what you put him through. Now you're here, out of nowhere, right when Alex is supposed to be in charge of a clinical trial... It looks suspicious to me. I mean, from what I hear, the two of you didn't have that great of a relationship when you both _tried_ at it... Alex has been through enough. This hospital has been through enough. If you're just here for fame, you back off. Go right back to Miami," Jo spat at Izzie, and then turned to walk away.

Izzie grabbed Jo's arm as she turned, her voice low.

"Okay, protector of all things Alex, this? It's going to stop. If I'm rehired here, I'll probably have to teach your little ignorant ass at some point. I'll make sure you land every scut case available. Every single enema will be saved for Jo," Izzie glanced at the shorter woman's I.D., "Jo Wilson, intern. Shit-unstopper extraordinaire. I'm sorry if you were in the middle of trying to jump on Alex's jock or something, but jealousy is not cute. Regardless of what you've heard, you don't know me, and Alex buries parts of himself so deep that I don't care how good and friendly you think you are with him, you don't know him as well as you think you do. But if you want to continue this friendship with Alex, you're gonna drop the little badass attitude act," Izzie spat right back at Jo, then let go of her arm, pushing her away a little.

"I will stomp a mud hole in you and then walk it dry. Now, run and tell the other interns how you told off _Dr. Karev's _flavor of the moment, and then remember what I said about shit and scut cases," she finished as Jo began to walk away.

"That's right! Walk away! Today has been brought to you by the letter 'S!' Dr. Stevens scut and shit show, at your service!" she called to Jo's back as she tried to hold back laughter.

She didn't know what Jo's problem was, but she had better get over it fast if they possibly might work together. If Izzie was even hired back at Seattle. And she hadn't even known Alex was about to begin a clinical trial - they hadn't exactly talked that much about work since reconnecting. 'But thanks for the conversation topic, Jo-Schmo,' Izzie thought.

Smiling to herself, she turned around and bumped right into Dr. Webber.

Clearing his throat, he smiled down at her, "Watch your step, Dr. Stevens. You might knock an old man down."

"Dr. Webber!" Izzie exclaimed, throwing her arms around the taller man before she even thought about it.

Richard Webber was like the glue of the hospital, and he always had been. He was the father figure to them all; he had always tried to lead them in the best way he could. Through his triumphs and failures, through his mistakes and moments of good and bad judgment, he had always rooted for them and tried to keep them on the right track to becoming the best surgeons they could be. Izzie had resented him for a long time because he had fired her, but then she realized he was just doing what he had to do. He was, first and foremost, a man who stood behind his hospital. Izzie couldn't blame him for that.

Laughing, Dr. Webber hugged her back. "Great to see you, Dr. Stevens. You really gave us a run for the money with that clinical trial you were on in Miami. I was surprised the Harper-Avery foundation didn't give you a visit."

Izzie beamed. "It was too late in the year to be considered for the 2012 awards, but Dr. Caldwell and I hope to be in the running when this year's finalists are announced."

"Good, good. Sure would like to have you here at this hospital if that happens. It needs a little... facelift, I guess you could say. Has Dr. Avery asked you to be our neonatal attending?"

Izzie sighed. "Actually, no sir, just the opposite. I was turned down. I'm too much of a budget issue."

Richard looked taken aback. "Budget iss- what? This hospital needs a high profile surgeon. You'd be coming in from a brilliant program, and you might not get the Harper-Avery because of conflict of interest, you understand, but Grey + Sloan Memorial needs you," he finished, shaking his head.

He was obviously thinking about Avery's hiring decision.

"Will you come to Joe's tonight, Dr. Stevens? I'll invite Dr. Avery and we'll have a little talk," Richard said, winking.

Izzie didn't hesitate.

"I would love that! Thank you so much!"

Richard nodded at her, beginning to step around her. "I'm not gonna have to worry about you and that intern, am I?" His voice sounded playful enough, but his eyes looked stern.

"Oh, no sir. Just letting one know the deal so the word can be spread around in case I am hired, you know, don't want them to get a false impression," Izzie said quickly, laughing nervously. She didn't mention that she had threatened to kick the girl's ass.

Richard nodded, smiling a little. "Getting the word out. I remember those days. See you tonight, Dr. Stevens."

Izzie felt herself exhale, not realizing she had been holding her breath. Father-figures always made her feel as if she was in the process of doing something wrong - even if she wasn't. Richard was no different.

"See you, Dr. Webber! And thanks again!"

Izzie then remembered Jackson saying that everyone expected him to fail, asking that Alex's plan to get her hired again didn't make him look like a fool. She hoped that Dr. Webber wouldn't make Jackson second-guess himself into making a decision. Knowing the right people for a job offer helped, sure, but she had wanted Jackson to see that she would be an asset to the hospital - not bullied into hiring her. But they would cross that bridge when they came to it, and she didn't want to worry herself to death before she had the meeting with Jackson and Richard. She had more important things to worry about.

Like seeing an old friend and her new baby.

* * *

Standing outside Meredith's hospital door, Izzie watched through the rectangular window of the door before she entered. Meredith was sitting up, looking down intently at her son. Izzie knew that Meredith was the type of person who always waited for the sky to fall - usually because it did - but there were no traces of that thought process on Meredith's face now. Only love for her son was evident.

Smiling, Izzie opened the door and gave Meredith a bright smile.

"Hey, mama. How's the patient feeling?"

"The patient feels wonderful, and it's not even because of the pain meds, I promise," Meredith joked, looking up at Izzie as she sat down on the side of the bed.

"Izzie, meet Bailey. Bailey, this is Izzie. She's a little more peppy than we like sometimes, but she helped bring you into this world, so we like her," Meredith continued, holding baby Bailey out for Izzie to take him.

"Aww, hey, Bailey!"

Izzie took him into her arms and peered down at his little face. She smiled, thinking of Alex's earlier admission that he thought all newborns looked like wrinkled potatoes. Izzie secretly agreed with Alex, but she still tried to pinpoint a baby's features in relation to its parents. Bailey's eyes were the same light color as his father's, but Izzie thought he had Meredith's nose and lips.

"That new baby smell, oh my god. I could just squeeze him. He's like cuddly crack," Izzie said, swaying the baby boy slightly in her arms, smiling down at him.

"Yeah, you should have been in here five minutes ago when that new baby smell wasn't so pleasant. The joys of diaper duty," Meredith said, laughing a little.

"Mommy doesn't mind a little stinky booty when the baby is this cute, right?" Izzie cooed down to Bailey. Then she looked up at Meredith, "And I'm not judging, by the way, but out of all the names in the world, you picked Bailey? Seriously?"

"Seriously! Miranda has helped me through my entire pregnancy. She kept me from losing it, and so I needed to pay homage to the woman who kept me from stressing my little man to death before he even made it out of the womb."

"Yeah, that 'still in the womb drama' is terrible," Izzie said, with laughter in her voice.

Izzie didn't know about Meredith's prior miscarriage or the adoption issues that Meredith and Derek had gone through, but as she had been thinking outside, she knew Meredith always expected the worst. She was glad that Miranda had helped to keep Meredith from forming dark and twisty thoughts while pregnant. Izzie believed that all of the mother's actions influenced a baby's development, so if Meredith had been negative during the entire pregnancy, that could have affected the baby. But it sounded like Dr. Bailey kept things under control for baby Bailey.

"You'll like this a little better, though," Meredith said, looking up at Izzie, "we were going to name him Christopher Bailey, Christopher after Derek's middle name, but I had a last minute change of heart. He has a different full name now."

"Which is?"

"Bailey Isaac Grey Shepherd. I gave him an 'I' initial for Izzie. Because you saved him," Meredith smiled, taking Izzie's hand, "you saved me, too."

Izzie felt tears prick at her eyes, and when Meredith saw this, she began vehemently shaking her head.

"No. You don't get to cry... If anybody should cry, it's me, because I'm allowing all this cheesiness to go on in front of my kid," Meredith said, rolling her eyes playfully.

Izzie held back her happy tears, looking down at the baby.

"Bailey Isaac Shepherd, you are adorable."

"I named him after two strong women, so I want him to become an admirable man to honor these two strong women," Meredith said, smiling at her baby boy. "Oh god, someone unhook me from the drugs, please. I'm becoming too sappy."

Izzie laughed.

"It's a-okay. Sappy suits you. It's the new mom thing - take it in stride."

Meredith sighed in a good natured manner, smiling.

"Derek's going home to bring Zola to meet her baby brother. You'll have to meet her, too. She's our adopted child, and she is so excited to meet the new arrival."

"So _that's _Zola! Meredith, my god! Well, congratulations on both kids. I'm beyond excited!"

"Yeah, it's kind of a good thing you came back. Zola is interested in baking... I can't boil water. But you're like a walking Easy Bake Oven, so you're gonna have to show her what to do," Meredith said, holding out her hands for the baby, "and when Derek gets here, we're gonna decide if we should call him Bailey or Isaac. He doesn't know about the name change yet. You know we're last minute, post-it marriage kind of people."

Laughing, Izzie handed the baby back to Meredith and stood up to check her incision.

"I'd be glad to show Zola the ropes of baking! And I'm a little partial to Isaac, but I won't mind if that's not what you guys pick!" Izzie said, beaming, "and your incision looks great. You know you'll have to stay overnight, but if you need anything, let me know. I'll check in on you and Mr. Bailey. Let me know when Derek and Zola get here!"

Izzie leaned down and kissed baby Bailey on the head, then made her way to the door to let Meredith get some rest and enjoy her new son's company.

"Hey, Izzie?"

Izzie turned around, smiling, "Yeah?"

"You'll be back in Seattle. New baby trumps everything, and he says so."

Laughing, Izzie stepped out into the hallway and began trying to calm her nerves down for her meeting with Jackson and Richard later.

* * *

A/N: What do you guys think - should the baby be called Isaac or Bailey? Thanks so much for sticking with this story... I appreciate every single one of my readers, so that means YOU!


	29. Punk'd

A/N: To the guest reviewer who ships both Lexzie and Jolex - thanks for the feedback. I like when someone holds my feet to the fire. I agree one doesn't need to be demonized over the other, but I've already admitted that I'm biased toward Izzie ;) I had hoped that I was just building conflict between the two women, and I don't think I'm necessarily making Jo out to be a 'devil' per se... Some of Izzie's faults are addressed and are still being addressed - just like Alex's - but I just don't think Jo's character on the show is all that believable, so it's hard for me to get a handle on her. If you have tips on how to write Jo, please share! I'd like to try to keep people in character as close as possible. Maybe season 10 will help a bit with Jo's believability, but I'm doubtful because it seems like 'Scandal' has taken over in the writing department. Of course that's just my opinion! As far as this story goes, the Izzie/Jo conflict isn't over yet, so let me know how much more ridiculous you think it gets...

As a side note, I haven't written much about Cristina and Owen either because I really am not sure how to approach Owen. Dr. Webber is kind of the same, so if I butcher him as well, let me know! I'm always up for comments, critiques, free food... you know. But as always, thank you ALL for reading!

* * *

**Chapter 29: Punk'd **

Alex had received an earlier text from Izzie stating that she'd be meeting Richard and Jackson at Joe's bar later. She sounded hopeful that she'd get her job back, and Alex hoped right along with her. He didn't see why she wouldn't - especially after covering the hospital's ass during Arizona's O.R. freakout. He had sent a text back saying good luck and that he would meet her there if he got off work early enough. Alex had picked up a couple of Owen's cases, and he didn't know how long he'd be in the E.R.

He had also gotten a text from Jo, which simply read: _Hey can we talk?_

Those had always been dreaded words in Alex's book - especially from women. But he had told her that they could talk whenever he had free time, and he meant that. He knew that Jo was on Cristina's service this week, so he would try to track her down before he left the hospital. He wasn't sure where Jo would fit in his relationship with Izzie, but he hoped both women would come to an understanding. Alex knew Izzie was judgmental and jealous, and even though he was the 'live and let live' type, he knew a thing or two about jealousy.

It had eaten him alive inside when Izzie and Denny had been a thing - he couldn't stand the way that Denny looked at Izzie. He especially hated the way that Izzie had looked at that guy. What really had eaten him up inside was the fact that a sickly and bed-ridden male was giving Izzie attention and she was eating it up. Back then, Alex hadn't understood what Denny had that he didn't. Now he knew himself a little better, and when you know better, you do better.

And now here he was, in a volatile situation with his ex-wife, now girlfriend, and a woman that he had begun to confide in. This is why he had preferred to stay single and sleep around - in his experience, the girlfriend and the female friends never got along. But he had never really had any true female friends, besides Meredith and Cristina - because they brought too much drama. He certainly didn't want to deal with any now, but he knew the situation called for a little. Izzie was probably suspicious of his female 'friend' since she knew his track record, and he didn't know anything about how Jo was feeling about the situation. Alex had no clue then that the two ladies had already exchanged words. Again.

Alex re-read his messages, and as he was doing so, Callie approached him.

"Hey, what happened with Arizona in Meredith's surgery?"

Alex wondered if Callie already knew the answer and was just testing him, but he didn't let on like he knew anything anyway. Chick-drama. He didn't want it and it always fell into his lap anyway.

"Really don't know. The idiot just dropped the scalpel into Mer's stomach," Alex said, shaking his head, "we do how many freakin' c-sections a week and she's dropping scalpel's into _Meredith's _stomach? Strange damn universe."

Callie just burst out laughing, then quickly calmed herself.

"Strange is not even scratching the surface on this issue, Karev," she said, sighing.

"Haven't talked to her, I take it?" Alex asked softly. Sure, he didn't want to propel himself into their relationship further than he had already been carried earlier, but he did care about the outcome.

"No. I'm loving the fact that she screwed up in the O.R., though. Am I terrible?"

Alex shrugged.

"Nah, Torres. She hurt you. You're enjoying seeing her screw up. We're human. It happens."

Callie raised her eyebrows at Alex, then leaned in to push his shoulder slightly.

"Excuse me, Dr. Phil? You've changed a whole lot. Where exactly did you hide Dr. Karev's body?"

Alex smiled in spite of himself.

"Fuck off, Torres. This 'thinking' thing, you know I don't like it."

"I kinda like it. It's strange and different, but it's real. Oh, and tell Izzie I said hi. I hear she wants to kick Jo's ass almost reminiscent of the time she went all trailer park on me in the cafeteria. I'm trying to decide who I want to root for," Callie said, winking.

"What?" Alex asked, his face screwed up in confusion.

"Oops... well, I guess you'll see. Text or page when the battle goes down!" Callie said in a rush before turning to walk away.

"Callie, what the hell?" Alex called out to her.

He really had no clue what she was talking about, and now he dreaded seeing both Izzie and Jo. He never knew what kind of freak show went on in this hospital right under his nose.

* * *

Izzie walked into Joe's bar, looking around at all the patrons through the smoky atmosphere. She noticed a group of interns all packed together in one of the booths, swilling beer and laughing at everything. She didn't recognize any of the interns from the hospital, and she was pretty good with faces. Either way, they reminded her of the group of interns she had entered the program with in the beginning. Alex. George. Meredith. Cristina. They had been a rag-tag bunch, unsure of each other, competing against one another, who eventually learned to love one another in spite of their differences and quirks. The first year of internship defines an individual - they learn who they are, they learn who they think they want to be. They form allies. They form enemies. But the group will be there for each other through the highs and through the lows. They would support each other; they would tear each other down.

She smiled, remembering her intern years. She had changed so much since then, and yet she was still the same in many aspects. Another one of Izzie's beliefs was that people come into your life for a reason - each and every single person you meet. Seattle had been a place where she had met many of the people who had influenced her and changed her and molded her into the person she was today, and she considered herself lucky to be able to be in contact with them still. She knew she still had a lot to answer for, but she hoped that everything was falling into place for a reason. Miami had fixed what Seattle had broken, but she was yet to determine if she was supposed to try her hand at Seattle again. It felt like she was, but then again, maybe she was supposed to learn something different from Seattle if she couldn't stay.

Quelling her rapid thoughts, she stepped toward the bar and noticed that Jackson and Richard were already there. Both men were arguing in a good natured manner, and Izzie smiled in spite of the fact that she was a complete bundle of nerves.

Jackson noticed her first, and he moved over a seat so Izzie would be sitting in between both of them.

"Izzie, hey. Nice job on Meredith's surgery... we were just talking about what happened with Dr. Robbins. Do you know?" Jackson asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

'Why in the hell am I sitting between the two of you when my fate is in your hands and I am freaking the hell out?' is what Izzie was thinking as she shook her head, but she cleared her throat and tried to answer without showing her nerves.

"No!" she exclaimed loudly, then realized she had practically screamed at them, "no... I don't have a clue. She looked up at the gallery and then kind of lost focus. It was weird."

"Hey, Joe, can I get another sparkling water?" Richard asked, nodding at the bartender. "Robbins has a bit of an 'authority' issue that tends to throw her focus, but I don't know who would have walked into that gallery to set her off."

Izzie had forgotten that Richard didn't drink. Strange place for a man who doesn't drink to meet.

Jackson slugged back half of his beer, then slammed the bottle down on the bar.

"Relationship crap, probably."

Beside her, Richard nodded, taking a sip of his water.

"You know, that's what's wrong with all of you. You get caught up in each other and forget the medicine. And don't try to exempt yourself over there, Dr. Avery. I may be old, but I'm not deaf... I hear things on the hospital hotline about you."

Izzie internally rolled her eyes. 'Hospital hotline? Seriously?' she thought. She felt as if she were in some strange twilight zone. Her own personal hell where two of the most respected men in the hospital bantered over her head about relationships. Crazy.

"And you, Dr. Stevens. You've been here a short time and I've heard things about you, too," Richard said knowingly, his eyes wide.

Izzie laughed nervously. What the hell was going on?

"Well... I don't know what kind of things you've heard, exactly... But I hope you've heard good things about me from Miami! And I hope you heard good things about Dr. Grey's surgery?" Izzie's tone went up in the end, almost like a question. A hopeful tone.

Richard nodded, thinking, and then leaned around Izzie to look at Jackson. Both Jackson and Richard burst out laughing.

"You should see the look on your face right now, Dr. Stevens," Richard said, in between bouts of laughter. "Avery, take her picture."

Jackson stood up and quickly snapped a picture of Izzie, with a bewildered look on her face, while he was laughing, too.

"This is definitely going on the hospital's Twitter page," Jackson said, showing Izzie the picture.

"Ooookay, sorry that I'm being rude here, but what the hell is going on?" Izzie asked the two men, and at that, they both laughed harder.

Out of the corner of Izzie's eye, she saw Jackson make a motion, and then Richard threw an arm around her while leaning in, and Jackson did the same from her other side. Then, a phone was shoved into her face, and her eyes were subjected to a blinding flash when Jackson snapped another photo of all three of them.

Jackson showed her the picture this time, too, and both men were laughing like idiots while Izzie wore a confused half-smile.

"Gonna put it out there to the Twitterverse that we've got a new hire," Jackson said casually while uploading the photos.

Izzie's brow furrowed.

"What?"

Richard laughed heartily again, then stood up, clapping a fatherly hand on Izzie's shoulder.

"Congratulations and welcome aboard, Dr. Stevens. Again," Richard said, finishing his water, "this old bird needs to go home and get to bed."

At that, he nodded to Jackson and made his exit.

Izzie turned to Jackson, still a little bewildered.

"Seriously, Avery... Am I being Punk'd?"

Jackson nearly choked on his beer while holding back laughter.

"Oh, this is too awesome. This has made my day," Jackson said, more to himself than to Izzie, but then he got more serious and looked at Izzie. "You're our new neonatal attending, Dr. Stevens. Come to my office in the morning and we'll fill out all the paperwork."

"Hey, Joe, let's get this woman a beer. She just got hired back at Seattle," Jackson continued.

"Yes! More baked goods, I hope?" Joe said, sliding Izzie a beer across the bar.

Izzie just grinned a little, still a little in shock.

"So you and Dr. Webber _planned _this whole 'gotcha!' type deal?"

Jackson grinned now, holding up his beer.

"Clink it, girl. Is it gonna be weird to be back in all this rain instead of that Miami sunshine?"

Izzie clinked her beer against his, then laughed.

"Oh, no. No, no. I see what you're doing. Don't make me all excited about my new job _before _explaining what all this was about!"

Jackson grinned again.

"Well, you see, your Dr. Caldwell in Miami called me before you ever flew in to Seattle. She figured you'd jump at the chance to work here again without considering any other options, so she wanted you to shop around before making your decision," Jackson explained, taking a swig of beer, "we wanted you here. You had the clinical trial, you and Dr. Caldwell are probably in the running for a Harper-Avery this year, so it would be stupid not to do everything we could to hire you."

"It's a definite investment, a budget issue, like I said. I was hesitant because of that, but we received a grant proposal that allows for some head room in the Obstetrics department, so guess what? After a little number crunching, we can hire a high-profile surgeon. Congratulations."

It was a lot for Izzie to take in. She couldn't say anything. She, Izzie Stevens, was speechless.

"We were in the middle of consulting the board for your hire when Meredith needed the emergency surgery. And I know now that Alex's plan was to have you scrub in as a visiting attending on the pro-bono surgery, which was a great idea, but now it's kind of a requirement. But you'll rock that out," Jackson finished.

"I'm so happy!" Izzie exclaimed finally, then guzzled most of her beer. "And I know technically you're my boss now... but I also hate you a little."

She and Jackson both just laughed.


End file.
